Lucy Oriang'
20 August 2001
opinion
Whatever else you may say of Maria Sung, she is an uncommonly courageous woman. Taking on the Catholic Church is not for the faint-hearted. But then there are many firsts in the battle for the heart and soul of Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo.
For one, this is the church that will have none of divorce under any circumstances. The best that desperately unhappy Catholic couples can hope for is a dispensation for separation.
But the Milingo case is not a simple matter of no man tearing asunder what God has put together. And Ms Sung is not just any other woman. She, too, has marshalled some clout via her short-lived romance. And why not?
She's playing for high stakes and, not being a devout Catholic, has no qualms challenging the deep-seated traditions of a church renowned for being conservative to the point of pain.
The odds are stacked in favour of Ms Sung at the moment. Wedding Emmanuel Milingo has not been just a personal coup for her, but also dealt a body blow to the Catholic Church and its much-vaunted policy of celibacy for the priesthood. For that alone, she can claim her moment of glory.
For a brief moment in time, the 43-year-old Korean doctor was in ecstasy - smiling at the world like a beacon beside her new husband, who appeared equally joyful at this marriage rather late in life.
You would hardly expect a man in his dotage - especially one who had been sheltered from the ways of the world throughout his adult years - to attract the kind of devotion that Ms Sung has dedicated to her cause. But there's no accounting for taste.
Some would say she had every reason to gloat - initially, at least. Not only did she have a husband chosen for her by her own spiritual leader, who is renowned for mass weddings between total strangers chosen by some obscure formula, but Archbishop Milingo is a prime catch in a sense.
Now she spends her time at St Peter's Basilica in Rome, alternating between blackmailing the church and shuttle diplomacy to get a personal audience with her husband, who has reportedly denounced the marriage and returned to the fold.
Ms Sung's battle with the Catholic Church may be new to the men in Rome, but it is a drama being played out all over the world on any given day. History is replete with women fighting to keep their men against all odds.
Their opponents are rarely a church with a following of about one billion worldwide, but women fighting to keep their men have this tendency to fight like lionesses to protect what they consider their own.
Some choose to "defend" their turf away from the prying eyes of the public, turning a blind eye to the peccadilloes of their dearly beloved. Others fight it out literally, tearing one another's hair out and making a spectacle of themselves - all in the name of love. The double-dealing partner, in the meantime, goes about his merry way preening like a peacock.
I have never understood the logic driving this thinking. No woman can ever "steal" your man without his full consent and co-operation. And you might well win the physical battle and lose the war for the heart of the object of your desire. Beating a rival into submission or making a nuisance of yourself do not seem to be valid "qualities" for earning the undying affections of a lover or partner. The way I see it is that your rival may well be just as much a victim of your unfaithful partner as you are. One person is using the others in these so-called love triangles. And the other two have agreed to be co-opted into the game.
But Ms Sung has a unique and complex rival. It is difficult to fight a matter of faith, let alone messy human emotions.
Frankly, I am torn two ways in this case. I have never believed that celibacy is an absolute necessity in the battle to win souls for Christ. I also believe that priesthood has nothing to do with your sex, and everything to do with your soul and spiritual depth.
By the same token, I have serious reservations about this mass wedding business. There are many cultures that have no track with romantic love, marriages being arranged on the basis of practical and political considerations. But there's something truly disturbing about taking a partner by what almost appears to be the throw of the dice. Marriage is challenging enough between people who've known one another all their lives, let alone with a total stranger who might well be a nightrunner or mass murderer.
The bubble may have burst for Ms Sung. But the church comes from the experience the worse for wear too. The men of the cloth may have been trained to save souls, but they are clearly ill-equipped to fend off a woman determined to get her man. I award Ms Sung a hands down victory in the public relations war for Archbishop Milingo.
Regular statements from the church that Archbishop Milingo is on a spiritual retreat have only hardened her resolve to hang in there. And rightly so. It is not the Vatican that made the nuptial vows. If Archbishop Milingo has changed his mind, he should do the honourable thing and personally break the news to Ms Sung. Hiding behind the church is unworthy of him.
After all, there has been no evidence that he was coerced into the union. If she is to be believed, he is no longer a virgin. Keeping him away from public view leaves the church open to accusations that it has manipulated the situation to save face.
It has every reason to be wary of this high profile "marriage". Whereas the celibacy debate has posed a low level crisis among followers increasingly reluctant to accept church edicts without question, defection into marriage at the Milingo level is virtually unheard of.
It is one thing for the world to be faced with reports that priests routinely abuse nuns, especially in Africa, and another for a 71-year-old charismatic clergyman to strike at the very core of the argument for celibacy.
You would think the Vatican would be used by now to Archbishop Milingo's maverick ways. He is reputed, after all, to have been called to Rome to nip in the bud his one-of-a-kind interpretation of spiritual healing.
If the Catholic Church wants to lay to rest Ms Sung's claim to Archbishop Milingo, he should emerge from hiding and declare to the world that he regrets his brief excursion into married life. Anything else amounts to playing with the woman's emotions.
loriang@nation.co.ke
Lucy Oriang' is the Deputy Managing Editor, 'Daily Nation'
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