Kampala — It's official: the most powerful man on earth will grace our banana republic with a 4-hour state visit as part of his African itinerary on a date yet to be announced. This will be President George W. Bush's first visit to Africa as the leader of the free world. And out of 53 odd countries that make up the African Union, he has chosen only five, Uganda being one of them.

Countrymen, we deserve it. We've been in America's corner when it mattered. We stuck our necks out and supported the US during the recent Iraqi war, when the rest of Africa was wetting its pants out of fear of possible after-war reprisals from Iraq's sympathizers.

Without bothering to ask Parliament, as the supreme legislative organ of government, we signed an agreement between ourselves and the United States specifically exempting US servicemen from prosecution in the unlikely event that the said soldiers are deemed to have committed grievous war crimes including acts of genocide.

For our courage in publicly signing what are known as Article 98 Agreements, we stand to benefit, substantially, from American military assistance. The Joseph Konys of this world must be quaking in their tyre-sandals.

Some fools have been asking whether a 4-hour stopover is really enough, for a country that has virtually mortgaged its sovereignty to imperialism. They argue that the least the US President should have done would have been to pay a quick visit to AGOA's flag-bearer in Uganda, the Tristar factory in Bugolobi, a sweatshop where sweated labour is reportedly used.

The girls, for example may not visit the toilets except during the times designated by management; they may not receive visitors or go shopping and are allegedly allowed to attend only one funeral a month. The said conditions (again allegedly) do not apply to the droves of Sri Lankan girls who've been imported with the apparent aim of eventually phasing out the Ugandan wenches.

Of course the argument as to whether a glass of wine (or waragi) is half-empty or half-full is fated to go on forever.

The pessimists will maintain that a 4-hour visit to the drab airport town of Entebbe which has no Didi's World, no Sheraton Hotel, no Worker's House, no Communication's House, and no Garden City, is not a credible basis for forming a first and lasting impression of a country's prosperity.

Balderdash. I say the glass is half -full. Four hours breaks down to 240 minutes, which in turn translates into 14,400 seconds. Now what is so damn mean about that? With some brainless athletes getting paid millions of dollars for a few seconds work, say in a boxing ring or a sprint race track, 14,400 seconds is nothing to scoff at.

In any case the president's advance team of secret service personnel, press crops, butlers and chefs rumoured to number 600 or thereabouts are not exactly putting up in rundown Gocool 'hotels' or having their meals at Shauriyako. They are spending good money at places, which do not use firewood or charcoal for cooking. Anything wrong with that?

One, of course, wishes the president would follow poet Kingsley Amis's plea in the poem "New Approaches Needed": to stay a little longer and get to know the place/experience hunger, madness, disease and war... .

Former US Treasury Secretary, Paul O' Neal reportedly shed a few tears at TASO headquarters in Kampala not too long ago.

And perhaps, as a result, we are going to receive a hefty share of the President's 15 billion dollars set aside to fight Aids in the developing world, even if some of our allotment could end up purchasing Shs 430 million cars.

What wonders then, would a presidential visit to Pabbo or Katakwi internally displaced camps accomplish? Welcome to Uganda (or Entebbe), Sir!