Tony Mochama
20 November 2005
Nairobi — A foreigner just landed in Kenya in the last seven weeks would be forgiven for thinking that many politicians suffer from the Freudian condition known as penile envy.
This is because as the referendum campaigns heated up and became increasingly personal, politicians began hitting each other below the belt.
We are talking about the 'circumcision obsession' of many of our leaders for whom the words 'good taste' are limited to the sumptuous meals they eat in grand hotels on taxpayers' tab.
Sample a former Mayor of Nyeri, James Gathaka, talking about Uhuru Kenyatta: "No one knows whether Uhuru ever got circumcised since he studied abroad. We should invite him here (Tetu), strategically position ourselves at the various exit points then strip him naked and establish whether he is circumcised."
In Maua, Cooperatives Minister Njeru Ndwiga declared: "Kalonzo is lost. Kambas do not walk with uncircumcised men." Not to be left behind was Mwangi Kiunjiri, who threw in his pseudo-poetic phrase, "Mtu hajatahiri hana siri (a man who has not been circumcised has no secrets). Even Harvard educated Kiraitu Murungi had a crooked go at Ntonyiri MP Maoke Maore, saying he should be rejected for "following an uncircumcised man around".
From much ado about foreskin, the referendum has got increasingly tribal, moving away from the relevant issues of constitution making and turning into a pissing, chest-thumbing contest.
"If 'Yes' wins, Kikuyus should pack their bags and prepare to move out of Eldama Ravine," declared area MP Musa Sirma a fortnight ago.
Kiunjuri asked Kenyans to "prepare for war if 'No' wins." In Kerugoya two weeks ago, MP Alfred Nderitu said Luos hate Kikuyus because they are "hard working, while fish is free".
The immediate former MP for Mukuruweini, Muhika Mutahi, urged his people to turn out in large numbers and vote on November 21 "or else this Luo takes over power from us. We are three million while the Luos are only 700,000."
Paul Muite thought it pertinent and relevant to the constitutional process to say, "Ai, hii samaki people hawatosheki (these fish people are never satisfied)!"
Beyond these dishonourable comments touching on communities, Roads Minister Raila Odinga seems to have been singled out for the proverbial coals-as-halo treatment. Norman Nyagah said the man is Satan and Kibwezi MP Kalembe Ndile dubbed him a "murderer for his participation in the 1982 coup attempt", and describing him thus: "The way I was born holding a microphone is the way Raila was born holding a stone with his people, fighting all the time."
Kiunjuri, in his starring role as pugilist for the 'Yes' team, advised Raila: "Kama hataki kuniona, aweke macho mfuko (if he doesn't want to see me let him pocket his eyes)".
But councillor William Wambugu did not even try to be creative, calling for Raila's head in Tetu: "Raila the monster should be hit on the head and killed so as not to destabilise the Kibaki government."
Beyond the schoolyard insults, commonly called 'mchongwano' in boyish parlance, the referendum has wrought and brought out comments that can only be silly.
What did Orange front man Reuben Ndolo mean when he said: "Kombo anakula pesa ambayo iliuwa Mbai (Kombo is surviving on money that kiled Mbai)?"
Or Daudi Mwanzia's threat, "Wakisimamisha pension ya Moi, then Wakalenjin na Wakamba watavamia State House (If they withdraw Moi's pension, then Kalenjins and Kambas will storm State House)!"
When a former US President said, "politics is the second oldest profession, comparable only to the first (prostitution)", dirty talk in these 'professions' must have been on his mind.
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