Lagos — Everywoman dreams of a full, rewarding and a happy life with the man of her choice. But just how far are they willing to go for love?

It's been said time and again that love makes the world go round; and women, particularly, follow the dictates of their heart. Whereever the drum beats of love sounds, there, they will go; even to the ends of the earth.

Nseobong Okon-Ekong enters into the world of some women from other nations who are married to Nigerians. It is an exciting discovery that shows a mini united nations in Nigeria.

Kudos to our Nigerian men who have shown that when they travel, it is not just for the proverbial golden fleece or greener pastures, they are not at all averse to matters of the heart.

Do the women find our men interesting? Alright, we are talking about marriage here; and it is for better, for worse; till death....So these women, originally from China, India, United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Phillipines, Ghana, Jamaica and South Africa to mention a few have formed a union called, Niger Wives Association. There are chapters in every state, with the national secretariat at the premises of King's College, Adeyemo Alakija Street, Victoria Island, Lagos. Every first Saturday of the month, they meet at the Corona School in Ikoyi to discuss common interests.

These women have been a mighty blessing, not only to the families that they are married into, but also the community and entire country. The Niger Wives are involved in some fundamental charity projects that touch on the fabrics of society. Their national project, for instance, is a continuous to improve the welfare of the blind and partially sighted people in Nigeria.

They are from any other country of the world, but Nigeria, while many starry-eyed Nigerian youths live and die for the American dream, their fires of passion are fanned by personalities who embody all that they crave after in men; and the authentic Nigerian dream.

The usual foreplay of boy-meets-girl and the perpetual session of love that follows were properly established in every case. In each example, the two lovebirds hardly could keep out of each other's arms. They become so inseparable that parting ways become unthinkable. When it is time for these men to return to Nigeria, the women do what many of their friends and family predict. They follow their beaus back to Africa, to Nigeria!

At first, many of these women did it for curiosity, even though they were no doubt madly in love, they still wanted to know if, like the famous African Prince, in the movie, 'Coming to America', these Nigerian men were princes returning home to a royal court where a host of servants would attend to their every need.

In deed, the live many of them have lived since returning to Nigeria has not been far from that of the fairy tale Prince Charming.

Nigerian men love the good live; even those of them from the most humble background assume flamboyant lifestyles once they return home with their wives from other nations.

Having been consumed by the charm of these Nigerian knights in shining armour, the finality with which these women dump their country of birth reminds one of the Biblical Ruth who demonstrated oneness with her husband by declaring the famous lines; "my people shall be your people and your God, my God".

The same sentiments were displayed when Winnie Mandela, whose dedication to her former husband and President of South Africa, Nelson pushed her to reach into her soul and come up with this famous statement, "I did not only marry a man, I married a struggle".

Today, these women from other nations who are married to Nigerian men have become more Nigerian than many Nigerians, largely because they emptied themselves for their husbands without worrying if the men were giving back as much.

While most members of the Nigerwives, as they are loosely called, had travelled for the summer, those around freely sheared their experiences and challenges of living in Nigeria.

Diane Oputa, originally from the United States, but now married to popular entertainer, Mr. Charles Oputa, better known as, Charley Boy said, "I was madly in love with Charles and agreed to follow him home to Nigeria after his studies. I came then, spent some months and went back". Eventually, when she was prepared to go the whole hog with Charles, while Charley had not yet proposed marriage, nothing could dissuade her.

Ever so supportive of her husband's career, Diane readily agreed to partner the new (at that time) Charley who was trying to launch himself into the mainstream of the entertainment industry in Nigeria.

Quickly snapping out of the culture shock, Diane joined her husband in shocking timid minded Nigerians with their bold, bohemian life style. Many dismissed them as unserious, but the tenacity with which their "royal punkness" carried themselves and their art was targeted at opening doors. Now that the Charley Boy phenomenon has become an identifiable brand, Diane can look back at those early years with satisfaction and say in unmistakable terms that the chemistry between herself and "this Nigerian guy is just right. We are more than soul mates. We were made for one another".

"We met in a hair salon where I was working then. He was always coming in a Limousine to do his hair. We got married in 1984, here in Nigeria. It is not easy being Charley Boy's wife, especially with his weird lifestyle. I cope with it day by day. It is with God's grace and blessings in a relationship that keeps us together. We talk a lot, we communicate, he doesn't leave me behind in things that he is doing. We also agree to disagree. Most times, people walk up to me and ask how I cope".

Diane's essential Nigerian trip has been a mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly. All these shades of circumstances have not only played themselves out in her relationship with Charley Boy only. "It's been the same with my new family in Nigeria and the environment I find myself in today. I mean some of the things that pass for normal are unthinkable in the United States, but that is the way it is here; so I have to learn to deal with it".

In the beginning, things were even more challenging and Diane confesses that there were times she felt like packing her stuff and getting out of Nigeria, but there is something about Charley Boy that restrained her; "again my parents in-law are so wonderful. They gave me hope and encouraged me to look beyond Charley's naughtiness in those early years".

One of the earliest sources of frustration for Diane was the fact that she realized she could not totally have her husband to herself. "In Africa, it is so different. The family system is extended and large. Everybody is important and they feel hurt if they as much as perceive that you are not paying as much attention to them as you should. They can easily accuse you of being a snub, because you didn't return a greeting".

With a husband who lived a racy live, there was no leisure of learning slowly. "I had to wake up and run first before I asked to understand why I was on the run. Things happened very fast. Overall, I love Nigeria. This country is going to explode in a positive sense of the word and I am happy to say that my husband and I were able to see ahead of our time. We are on the threshold of a new and wonderful Nigeria that the rest of the world would be forced to reckon with. The silent revolution going on now in the polity is good. It is just that we operate in a sector of the economy that demands high visibility, but I am not essentially a loud person. When I am not working, you find me in my house. I always find things to do. You need to see the things I have created with my own hands. I derive a lot of joy in creativity. I feel like I have given life to something".

"I'm working on two other shows that would hopefully be on air by September. One of them will be called TAAKAIA. It means, Teaching Africans Arts and Krafts. It is going to be a kind of self-empowerment programme where I will be able to enlighten a few people on what they could do with African arts and crafts and how to use them to earn income.

It's been 23 years of marriage and a lot of people don't understand that the most essential ingredient that has kept the relationship going is "God's grace".

Need to know more? Diane is happy in her marriage. "We are always happy as a couple with lovely kids. Like it is expected in every marriage, once in a while, we do have our ups and downs. The grass is not always green. We don't let things interfere with our marriage foundation. That is the rock that holds everything together".

While some Nigerians are finding it difficult to speak their spouse's language, Diane has overcome that obstacle. "I can speak a little bit of Ibo if I'm in the village, I know how to greet. I know the titles. But my Yoruba staff are trying to teach me Yoruba. She understands the power of language and how it creates a warmer relationship. She tries her best to exploit all the cultural elements in the environment and put them to work for her

"You should know that the way to a man's heart is food. My husband likes all kinds of foods and that has helped me in knowing how to prepare a variety of dishes. He likes Edikan-Ikong and Afang soups much and I prepare them for him very, very well. I also like local vegetable foods very much. I like pounded yam a lot but it made me put on much weight, so I had to quit. I also love pepper soup".

Another Niger wife is Mrs. Megan Olusanya who on 22nd June celebrated the 44th year of marriage to her husband, Ambassador (Professor) Gabriel Olusanya former director general of the Nigeria Institute of International Affairs (NIIA) and Nigeria's Ambassador to France. Originally from Jamaica in the West Indies, Megan met and married her husband in Toronto Canada. They returned to Nigeria in 1965. Using her husband as an example, she thinks Nigerian men deserve a pass mark for their gentlemanly conduct. "They are supportive and make excellent role models. I am not saying that they are 100 percent good. There are ups and downs".

Coming from a country that boasts of a good African heritage was a mighty help. But a few things still came as a surprise. For instance, all the strict formalities and respect demanded by the Yoruba culture was by far different from the standoffish attitudes in her own country. "This is a good thing, because it is sad that children in the West don't respect their parents".

Mrs. Olusanya hasn't gone back home to Jamaica in the last seven years. She misses home for two reasons: The food and not being able to talk with members of her family. Eighteen hours is a mighty long time to travel; and that is all it takes to go from Nigeria to Jamaica. Living in retirement now, she engages herself as the administrator of Niger Wives Association. She is often busy with the various projects conceptualized by this group of foreign women who are married to Nigerians. Everything she has now is thrown into this charity as a way of exercising her brain, helping younger women who are married to Nigerians to settle in and also to satisfy a yearning to serve humanity in a selfless capacity.

Some of the better known Niger Wives include the Iya Oge of Lagos, Chief (Mrs.) Opral Benson who is originally from Liberia but is now married to Nigeria's former Information Minister, Chief T.O.S. Benson, Mrs. Alice Da Silva, owner of Alice in Wonderland at Joel Ogunaike Street, Ikeja, Mrs. Doris Fafunwa, wife of the former Education Minister, Professor Babatunde Fafunwa and the wife of the CEO of the Silverbird Media Group, Ben Murray-Bruce.

Mrs. Betty Okuboyejo came to Nigeria 44 years ago with her husband. It's been 11 years since she lost him, but she still remembers like yesterday when they first met in Oxford and got married. They returned to Nigeria in 1963 and lived at first in Abeokuta; then they moved to Ijebu Ode before coming down to Lagos. Living in the Yoruba hinterland gave her the opportunity of getting closer to Yoruba society to look at the way they dress and other aspects of their lifestyle that would have been difficult to do in Lagos. At that time there were not many Europeans in Abeokuta and she had to mix freely with Nigerians.

Interestingly, she spent her working life making 'adire' and other ready-to-wear clothings. One of her children, Nike has developed this trait from her and taken it to higher heights.

Mrs. Roseline Afolabi has travelled to all parts of Nigeria, except the farthest ends of the northern Nigeria like Sokoto and Maiduguri. Originally from the island country of Haiti in the West Indies, Mrs. Afolabi finds Nigeria very much like her country in terms of the climate and food. "For me, it is like moving from one town to another. But I love living in Lagos and other coastal environment because it reminds me of my own country. Nigeria is a country full of promises and blessed. Nigeria is a great country. I like the spirit of the Nigerian people-very enterprising and generally intelligent. Nigerians stand out from other Africans".

A trained Pharmacist who worked as a teacher and administrator in the Nigerian educational system, Afolabi said the only challenge she has faced so far in over three decades sojourn in Nigeria are the Nigerian languages. In my country, we speak French and Creole, but it is different here. I do not know of other Haitian who is married to a Nigerian".

Mrs. Michelle Ukoh has only been in Nigeria for three years with her husband, Mazi Chukwu Francis Ukoh who is from Arondiziogu in Imo state. They met and got married in the United States 20 years ago. Immediately she got into the country, she hooked up with the Niger Wives Association. Her interaction with the group is one of the most rewarding experiences she has enjoyed in Nigeria so far.

Mrs. Ukoh owes her proper integration into the Nigerian society to senior Niger Wives like Mrs. Okuboyejo and Mrs. Da Silva who emphasized the importance of cooking Nigerian meals for her husband and dressing up in Nigerian fashion. From them she learnt one of the secrets of making success out of marriage to a Nigerian man: Don't try to curb his cultural instincts; the children belong to him; do whatever he tells you and you must be ready to accommodate his extended family.

Ukoh, who is a licensed principal in the United States, last year, opened First New Generation Study Centre for children between the ages of eight and fifteen. One of the values she inculcates in her students is to live a purposeful live and to have faith in Nigeria. "I am happier here. The resources are here if you know how to harness them. I like the food and the value that is placed on family. This is a place you can still raise children.

No matter where we may have come from originally, we are here to stay. We aim to contribute our best to make our home Nigeria, a better home. When you do not plan to move, you make your home more conducive, that is what we have been doing variously in our various endeavours.