Port Louis — "When are you getting married?" This is a question single women are not so keen to hear but that others repeatedly ask.

Among women entrepreneurs, some have chosen not to get married simply because they do not want to adjust their working commitments.

A last question to conclude a press interview. "So why have you chosen to be single?" The question was posed to MP Nita Deerpalsing.Her reply was curt - "This is my private life."

Regularly, women who for a reason or another have not - or not yet - entered into holy matrimony, get the 'why' treatment. The way they choose to respond depends on their level of self-confidence but "society's" reactions leave quite a number of them with feelings of inadequacy. "It is as if you are being judged, as if you have failed in some way", says an unnamed unmarried woman in her mid-thirties.

Many single women agree and most of them resent this intrusion in their private lives. Most don't say it though. Or, at least, they wouldn't say it out loud, probably because they themselves think they are not living up to the expectations of their family and friends. Nita Deerpalsing doesn't have such qualms - "I laughed when I was asked the question but it proved a point I was trying to make - we live in a society that is unbearably patriarchal. We are so immersed in it that we don't notice it either. The question about my 'status' proves me right."

Whatever the reasons - and they vary - there are more and more single women, who though they don't have anything against the idea of matrimony, have delayed what others, of an older generation, see as a must. Some have altogether given up on the idea, for their own personal reasons.

The MP has a point. A patriarchal society dictates that a 'girl' should be married off as soon as she's of age and preferably before her 'sell-by date.' If this 'condition' is not met, the way the single woman is perceived is more often than not subject to many prejudices and leaves her reasons open to a lot of speculations.

Sanjana, 34, (her name has been changed to protect confidentiality) tells us that she is often asked why she is "still unmarried". "I never know what to say because there isn't any particular reason why I am still single. It's probably for lack of opportunity - I haven't met anybody I would like to marry yet. I am aware it's a tall order because getting married would mean giving up on a lot - my space, my free time, adjusting my working hours, etc. and I need to meet somebody for whom I would be willing to give up on my life as it is now. I haven't so far but how do you explain this to the concerned aunties and 'dadis'?"

Whatever the reasons - and they vary - there are more and more single women, who though they don't have anything against the idea of matrimony, have delayed what others, of an older generation, see as a must. Some have altogether given up on the idea, for their own personal reasons, probably heeding Katharine Hepburn's warning - "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married!" But Mauritian society seems at odds with this notion. As Nita Deerpalsing says: "If it were in Canada or the UK, it wouldn't have crossed anybody's mind to ask why anybody's not married."

"True but they would still have wondered", argues a happily married Anna (name changed). Anna got married at the beginning of the year and admits to being "blissfully happy" with her new husband. She therefore cannot understand why her friend Kelly (name changed) doesn't tie the knot. "Who with?" asks Kelly, unhappy with her friend's insistence. Kelly hasn't met anyone she wants to marry. She is looking, though. Helpful as ever, Anna drags her along to every social function she goes to, in the hope of finding her best friend a husband. Kelly is highly embarrassed by the 'help' but she goes along as she is starting to resent the fact that she is the only single one among her friends. "A while ago I decided to stop going to those functions because I was tired of being the gooseberry. On top of that I had to deal with the fact that people looked at me as if there were something wrong with me because I was single."

So Kelly doesn't go out. But she is increasingly unhappy with her "marital status" and agrees that she has started feeling the way she does after constant harassment from "relatives and people supposed to be (her) friends" about her unmarried state. She admits, "At this stage, I am prepared to marry just about anyone so I can feel normal. If it doesn't work, I suppose I'll get a divorce. But better be divorced than die a spinster."

Kelly is only 31.