Dear Tingasiga: Political candidates in USA, who use tough language to describe their opponents, are promptly accused of having "gone negative." And that can cost one a lot of votes. John McCain, the presumptive nominee of the Republican Party, holds the record of master-whiner in the current series of presidential primaries.

When former governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts declared that McCain was not a true conservative, the Arizona senator let it be known that his feelings had been deeply hurt. Not that McCain is a conservative, you understand. His positions and voting record on social issues is pretty much in line with those of self-confessed liberals.

But McCain was seeking the Republican nomination. Pointing out his liberal record was "going negative" and "unacceptably divisive." You may think it, but please don't say it! Fortunately for McCain, he can now enjoy a temporary respite from the "negative attacks" until the Democrats sort themselves out.

Then we shall see McCain reduced to tears once again by the Clinton attack machine which has fine-tuned its act over the two decades that it has been in the trenches. Did I say Clinton? I may be speaking too soon, of course. Hillary Rodham Clinton, the once inevitable Democratic Party nominee, looks as vulnerable today as she was before she won Texas and Ohio.

Barack Obama, who won the Wyoming caucuses two days ago, is back on a roll. And so the earlier camaraderie between Clinton and Obama, has given way to more heated exchanges that the media and the campaigns have promptly called "negative attacks." Madame Clinton, the female half of the Bill and Hillary Show that is seeking a Kisanja [third term] in the White House, was accused last week of "attacking" Obama with a television ad that suggested the latter was not ready to be commander-in-chief of the US armed forces.

For his part, Obama is now asking Hillary to share with the Americans what national security or other international crisis she has dealt with which qualifies her to be "ready on day one." Obama is also asking Hillary and Bill, zillionaires a mere seven years after leaving the White House, to disclose their personal financial records. The Clintons are having some difficulty fulfilling that request.

It gets better, Tingasiga. Professor Samantha Powers, a Harvard University professor, one of Obama's advisors on foreign affairs, was forced to resign last week because she had called Hillary "a monster, stooping to anything" to win. Though I don't like the business of rudeness in politics, methinks these Americans are not serious.

Have they watched or listened to African politicians ply their trade on campaign trails? Do they really know what negative campaigns are? In my hometown of Kabale, a few dogs were dressed in T-shirts belonging to candidate Serapio Rukundo, who was in mortal combat with Dr Ruhakana Rugunda in the 1996 elections. Or was it the other way round?

Ugandan president Museveni is a master of priceless gems. He threatened to send former president Milton Obote "six feet under." He alleged that a major presidential opponent had HIV/Aids during the 2001 elections. He declared that even if he lost the election, he would never hand power to buffoons and idiots. He called opponents snakes.Each statement was greeted with ululation.

But Museveni's language is child's play compared to that of his minister of local government, Maj. Gen. Saverino Kahinda Otafiire. Otafiire, who likes to borrow from common and highly accessible imagery to proffer his opinion, is a true master of the spoken insult. He humbly advised Kawanga Ssemogerere, who was challenging Museveni in the 1996 elections, mbu "agende alunde embaata" (that he should instead go and rear some ducks).

Otafiire immortalised himself by referring to those accusing him of stealing copper rivets from an Asian businessman as "mavi ya kuku," a Kiswahili term for the solid excrement of chicken. Otafiire's recent reference to those opposed to the sale of public land at Lugogo in Kampala as "wapumbavu" (stupid) sounded pretty tame in comparison. Not surprisingly, Otafiire's utterances have not hindered his career progress. His mavi ya kuku and wapumbavu insults were borrowed in 2005, verbatim, by Kenyan president Kibaki.

The only African politician I know with a finer mastery of the political insult than Otafiire is Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe. Reacting to the candidacy of Simba Makoni, his former finance minister who is seeking to oust him from the presidency in the elections scheduled for later this month, Uncle Bob told an audience: "Let the people's voice thunder across the whole country on 29 March, rejecting and damning once and for all the bootlicking British stooges, the traitors and sell-outs, the political witches and political prostitutes, political charlatans and the two-headed political creatures." The masses gobbled it up with applause. They may yet re-elect the 84-year old Mugabe.

The most unforgettable line in my archives of political insults came from the mouth of a KANU MP in Kenya's Central Province whose seat was threatened by a woman candidate during the parliamentary elections in the early 1990s. The poor fellow, sensing that his exhortations for no change were falling on deaf ears, told his hard-headed listeners at a rally that the choice before them was very clear. "Do you want to keep me as your MP or do you want to elect a woman who cannot urinate across the river?" The deafening applause from a reassured audience brought a smile to the beleaguered politician. He was returned to parliament.

All of which reminds us that it is not what the politicians say, but the reception they get from the public. In Africa the measure of a politician lies in his ability to abuse and threaten his opponent. In America, the measure of a politician lies in his ability to appeal to their sense of fairness and decency.

This search for respectful politics is part of the reason why Obama has earned the wide support of Americans of all demographics. He offers USA a refreshing change from the rough politics of the Clinton generation. That's why he remains the odds-on favourite to win his party's nomination, and the US presidency.