Maureen Odubeng
14 March 2008
book review
Gaborone — On March 19 at the Botswana National Museum, a moving story will be launched. It is a painful chronology of abuse at its worst under the guise of child discipline. It is captures in Dawn Ndlovu's book; 'Shadows: A Moving Story of Stolen Childhood'.
The book is interesting but sad. It can easily brings tears to the eyes. The abuse the main character suffers in the name of discipline is unbearable. The book follows the life of Kea, short for Kealeboga, from her childhood to early adulthood. It is written in a somewhat flashback style and starts with the adult Kea waking up from under a tree in a place where she used to take solace after running from her troubled childhood. In particular, she dreaded her mother who seemed to have hatred for her rather than love.
The scene brings back painful memories for Kea and the author wades through a chronology of her troubled childhood. The reader is introduced to the seven-year-old Kea, who up until then had been staying with her grandmother. Even though she had never been told, she knew that the grandmother she called mother was not her real mother. On the day Kea's mother Betty arrives at the village, her grandmother asks jokingly: "Who is that". After a few moments of doubt Kea responds: "I know who she is...she is my mother". The grandmother hits back in a friendly tone. "Ehee! Now I see you want to cheat me, I have been keeping you in my house, feeding you, taking good care of you, now you see a total stranger and call her your mother," she said with a smile (page 14).
Kea was excited about meeting this stranger. But her joy was short-lived. The mother she just met chose a cousin Neo to visit her in town. Then she left without saying goodbye. Despite the two blows, Kea was still optimistic about her mother making a grand entrance into her life. When the day finally came, it did not happen the way she expected. Her mother did come to get her and her little sister Agang to go live with her in town. Of course Kea was excited about joining her mother in town. But again, the joy was short-lived and she found herself wishing to go back to the village. The relationship she so much craved for was none existent. Instead, her mother turned into a tyrant and Kea trembled whenever she saw her. Despite the setbacks, she kept saying to herself that if she was extremely good, her mother would love her. But this never happened. All her good deeds were not good enough for her mother.
Ironically, younger sibling Agang was having the time of her life with their mother. This dented Kea's self-esteem and she though that maybe she was too ugly to be loved. Agang is often called with special names like 'baby and my child' but Kea received a beating or pinching almost everyday while staying with her mother. Doing wrong or right was not a defining factor for the beatings. Her mere presence seemed to irritate her mother. Her school-going years were hell. Her mother forbade her from engaging in extra-curricular activities in school.
She was like a burden to her mother, who barely took care of her basic needs. Kea got a break from the beatings and the emotional abuse from her mother during school holidays when they visited the village. But even in the village Kea did not have peace whenever her mother visited. She would run-away from home until her mother left. The hiding place is where the book starts. Kea gathered enough courage to visit the place after 20 years. The book is a must read for everyone, especially parents, as it may challenge them to re-evaluate the way they treat their children. It contains two mind-captivating poems, guaranteed to appeal to the reader's emotions. The poems at the end of chapters one and two capture Kea's experiences.
Dawn is a Psychological Counsellor and holds a diploma from Kanye SDA School of Nursing. She has another diploma in Midwifery from Institute of Health Sciences in Gaborone and a BA (Psychological Counselling) from University of South Africa. She completed Family and Marriage Therapy course with Canyon University (USA) in 2006. She has worked as a Registered Nurse, Midwife, and Counsellor. She is currently employed as an HIV/AIDS Program Coordinator. Her other published book 'Injured Souls' is a compilation of her poems.
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