17 March 2008
Their adverts have been met with a lot of controversy. Most are cynical. Others simply ignore them and a number go ahead to call their bluff.
I am talking about the ssengas whose adverts claim miracles even surgery can't accomplish. Some can cure smoking while others brag about enlarging one's manhood.
Some call themselves the "bedroom doctors" and brag about making him/her love you, giving you sexual prowess in bed and for women, increasing body parts or fluids that are linked to sex.
After reading and scoffing at one too many of these, I was assigned to go and find out exactly what and how they achieve the unachievable. In Makindye, opposite the court and police offices was where one such doctor advertised her stall.
With no idea of what to expect, I wasn't very obvious in my search for her lest people think I have a problem that needs whatever extreme methods they resorted to.
I was shocked to find about 20 of these stalls all advertising ssengas and the problems they could heal. No one batted an eye as I hurriedly dashed into one, deciding any one is as good as the one that advertised. She was very welcoming and asked me what the problem was.
BUSINESS AS USUAL: Ssengas' clinics open for business in Makindye. These "doctors" say they have the answers to people's problems and will treat anything from fibroids and undesired weight to restoring sexual prowess. Photos by Ismail Kezaala
As soon as I fumbled around, she figured I had no intention to buy and making an "I am busy excuse", sent me to her friend in another stall.
This one was more tolerant especially when I told her I craved to renew my virginity since I was a bit slack. She assured me she could fix the problem in only three days for the price of Shs40,000. I tried to get her to lower the price in vain.
"Many women are like you," she said in Luganda "the only way to keep your man from straying is this and the money is little compared to the results." She pulled out herbs that I was supposed to shower but wouldn't give away any more information until she saw the money.
Just another business
Promising to get back, I slid into yet another stall and was surprised when people paid me no attention. I could have been going to any other shop for all they cared.
In this one, I told them about a friend who wanted to lose weight and confided that I have fast growing fibroids. The friend had to pay Shs80,000 and I was going to part with Shs100,000 or Shs150,000 depending on how bad they were.
She had no machine to examine me but she was sure whatever size, the medicine she would give me to swallow would work. "Of course it's for swallowing," she said "Why would I give you medicine to work in the body and give it to you to use elsewhere?"
She felt no need to reply the 'does it work' question. She wouldn't show me the wonder herbs and I left promising to be back with her money. Copying a few numbers from the banners hanging over the stalls, I headed for Katwe, another region notorious for ssengas.
These are more spread out and I had to grit my teeth when asking for directions. The first one I found looked like any other businesswoman with her hair recently done and her nails manicured.
I told her I had a man who was physically challenged and needed her to help me give him an inch or two more. Praising her herbs and skills, she encouraged me to come with him since it would be almost useless to deal through me. I told her he would never come and I wanted a way to do it so that he never finds out.
I told her he was a very short tempered man, and smiling, she said she could help me in two ways. She would give me medicine to make him love me (since she had figured that he didn't) then he would be more willing to comply with the size increase.
She made a convincing argument and if there had been a husband or a desperate wife, she would have won them over.
"This is not witchcraft and many women are still married because they consulted me," she reassured me.
She too was hesitant to reveal her techniques but said the love potion was to be showered and drunk rather than use it to spike the husband's meals.
This would make me give off sexual signals and attract him. She didn't have a ready answer when I asked about the possibility of attracting other men other than the target. For the combined price of Shs700,000, I was guaranteed real happiness. She had a few other offers like a cure for asthma and getting rid of the signs of HIV in case I had willing friends.
She like the last ssenga insisted on taking my number lest I forget to return for the products. We started talking and I complimented her on her looks stating that business must be good. She agreed and told me how she had put up two shops from her ssenga business.
She had many customers and when satisfied (like they usually are), they recommend other people.
I asked if the manhood enlargement worked and she said it was so good one man now has two wives yet he had rarely dated. She promised my man would be able to walk around naked without a worry. True to her word, she called when I failed to show up.
The last one I visited was even more confident. She could change the sex of my unborn child from female to male at the price of Shs120,000. For something that is yet to be achieved by science, I was all ears. I told her I was pregnant and two months along.
One look at me and she assured me I was not. She insisted even when I told her I had done tests. She later asked me to take heart, now that I had visited her, I was going to give birth to the coveted baby boy.
She took me aside and showed me a green kavera promising that my answer lay in its content. She had a glazed look and a strong grip on my hand, forcing me to feign a phone call and get away from her.
Sarah, a first time mother of a one-month-old baby says that ssengas have nothing to do with witchcraft. She was given medicine (mumbwa) to drink during her pregnancy and she was in labour only for two hours. Her cramps were less painful than the average pregnant woman and the medicine did its purpose of enlarging her hips for purposes of pushing.
Even after giving birth, she still depends on the ssengas a lot. Her daughter didn't suffer with colic and the kyogero herbs the infant showers protect her from the rashes most children her age get.
Although she is not so keen on the penis enlargement and fibroid treatment, she encourages all pregnant mothers to consult ssengas.
"Not everything can be done by medical doctors and if it wasn't for my ssenga and her medicine, my stitches would have taken ages to heal. Even the doctors said I had a remarkable pregnancy," she insists.
Breaching ethics
One thing I noticed however is that most if not all the ssengas are Baganda and don't readily give anyone their medicine or advice before they see the money. They have a privacy policy and rightly so.
Mr Apollo Nyagasi, the Uganda Medical Workers Union President was adamant that such "doctors" are not recognised as a medical profession. When asked why then they advertise without a problem, he said that they are not allowed to.
"The medical body has a code of conduct which prohibits doctors from advertising. Since these are not under the body however, they can't be punished accordingly," he explains, adding, "They can only be stopped from masquerading by other bodies like the Ministry of Health."
There is also a system where public and private practices make a partnership and jointly benefit from each other. However, the private practice needs to be formally registered in order to do this. Most, if not all the ssengas are not formally registered.
The Director General of Health Services Dr Sam Zaramba was also unwavering about the fact that they should not go around advertising. "They are cheating the public and claiming dangerous medicine. How can one person claim to heal HIV?" he asked.
He also explained that it was the medical chamber in charge of putting a stop to their practices. The body says they have already been written to and are going to deal with them with the help of the police. He also cautioned media houses against running these adverts. They too have to take a step in fighting the illicit ssenga businesses.
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