allAfrica.com: Zimbabwe: View From the Campaign Trail

THE following article is not fact. MacVivo takes a humorous jab at what 'inside' politics would look like. Zimbabwean politicians and citizens alike should find it funny. If not, then tough. As we do not have access to the 'inside of politics,' so to speak, satirical accounts of what their agenda might resemble will abound. Before you smile, remember, everyone is being ribbed; politicians, citizens, the press, civil society - you're not spared. Remember if you make a fool of yourself in politics, or not, you will pay the price... You have been warned!Here we go.....

THE ELECTION season is in full throttle across the country, with everybody, from aspiring councilors, senators and House of Assembly candidates slogging on the campaign trail, taking their messages of a better Zimbabwe to the electorate. The same goes for the presidential candidates.

Dr. Simba Makoni has been out and about; even holding road-side impromptu rallies with would be voters, while at the same time fighting tooth and nail to repudiate murmurs from his 'detractors' that he was a stooge. The incumbent, President Mugabe, has used state funds to criss-cross the country, urging the people to vote for him because 'I brought you freedom.'

Of course, President Mugabe's campaign has been timely boosted by Gov. Gono, who decided to launch the third phase of the agriculture mechanization scheme in the middle of the election season, which has seen the Mugabe Campaign donate heifers, computers, combine-harvesters etc at some of its rallies.

And Morgan Tsvangirai, on the other hand, has been buoyed by massive crowds that have come to his rallies, his campaign benefiting from the simmering anger within the electorate from ZANU-PF's failed policies over the last two decades.

All is well. But wait a minute, there is something missing, where is Langton Towungana, the forth candidate running for the office of the president? Since Towungana emerged from the dark shadows and duly filed his papers when the nomination court sat on February 15, virtually nothing has been heard from the candidate, apart from a slew of interviews with news organizations.

Wherever he was, like many other prospective voters, I had many questions for him. Who was Towungana? Why was he running for president of the land? Who funded his campaign? Why was he running now, not before in 2002? What could people expect from President Towungana?

What I had heard of him in the media was not encouraging to begin with. A source purported that Towungana, rather than toiling dutifully on the campaign trail like his compatriots, actually spent his days curled up on a couch in domestic bliss. And, what featured on his campaign manifesto, as far as one could gather, was the message that he was a man of God. In order to find out for myself, to verify some of the wild claims that I had heard about the man, I went out on a journey to find him.

One lazy, hot Wednesday afternoon, after much searching, I found Langton Towungana at his modest home in Victoria Falls, on the edge of the national park with the same name as the falls. The sound of the thundering falls hung in the air like a white veil, barely suppressing the irritating din made by cicadas in the trees all around. Under an azure sky with scarcely a cloud in sight, it was yet another hot day, as the Zambezi Escarpment is renowned of during the farming season.

Brother Tafadzwa, one of the young staffers of the Towungana for President Campaign, took me behind the red brick six roomed house where I found Towungana himself. To my amazement, instead of being curled up on a couch, the presidential candidate was sleeping, bare-chested, on a green silk hammock in the cool of a shade thrown up by a luxuriant Mopani tree. It was hardly the image of a presidential candidate I had expected.

Waking up from his afternoon siesta, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands, the former primary school teacher apologized, saying: "I'm sorry, you found me unprepared." I sensed that the man was angry that I had disturbed him from his sleep. He hastily retreated into his house, calling out to his wife Emilia to prepare some refreshments for me.

"Why are you running for president?" I asked the burly, clean shaven, middle-aged and slightly muscled former teacher, while we ate biscuits Emilia had brought us, which we washed down with cool tankards of Fanta. We were sitting on easy reclining polystyrene white deck chairs and Towungana was now fully clothed, but his chest was half exposed because the khaki shirt he wore had its last three buttons open. He considered the question carefully, stroking his chin in deep thought.

"My sprits, the feeling deep inside of my heart told me to run," Towungana said in all seriousness, adjusting his horn rimmed glasses. I started laughing, as I found his response comical, but Towungana quickly countered my skepticism, emphatically adding: "I'm answering God's call to duty. God sent me. I want to tell all the people that I'm a messenger of God. My candidacy is completely rooted in scriptures but, alas unlike that of my opponents, is actually inspired by God omene." As we went deeper into the interview, I realized slowly that Towungana had a disarming smile and in his company I felt at ease, although I detected a slight glint of fanatic zeal in his brown eyes. Was this the man who will take the suffering people to the Promised Land? I wondered.

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