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Botswana: Nitty Gritty - Branding Tsogang Banna
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Mmegi/The Reporter (Gaborone)
COLUMN
20 March 2008
Posted to the web 24 March 2008
Barolong Seboni
The parliamentary session at of the Tsogang Banna Julle Bliksem Association for men is in short recess in preparation for the Easter break. Various and several members of this august body of men will be away on some religious break or other for their annual spiritual refill.
Some will be crossing the borders and others will be traversing the length and breadth of this country of yours and mine like lost sheep, or rather like Mogoditshane goats waiting to cross the road at the Molepolole circle!
This spiritual refill has also been made necessary by the fact that the chairman of the Tsogang Banna Association is also the Prophet of the Church of Holy Goat, the latest addition to the long list of African independent churches who have found a spiritual vacuum in Botswana and are determined to fill it at the same time as they fill their pockets!
You will remember, dear readers who never forget, that when Chicken established his church a year ago it was because he realized that the hundreds of thousands of Batswana who cross the borders to be spiritually refilled, could actually be fulfilled right here in Botswana for much less in terms of costs. They would save on accommodation and on transport. In the end the Botswana economy stands to benefit. The church stands to benefit even more, if they play their cards right. What with the tents to be hired out to the congregation and blessed water to be sold to believers and the faithful during the services and on the Good Friday wake.
In Chicken's estimates the spiritual refill over the Easter long weekend translates into an economic overkill. Spiritual refill equals economic overkill. That's the formula.
But let's not digress. The Fellows of the Order of the Oblong Table at the Shebeen Nitty Gritty have been given an assignment by Chicken the chair, while he goes off for a few days to fulfill his other role of spiritual refiller of lost and wandering souls of the Church of the Holy Goat, as founder, saviour and prophet.
"Magents.....er..I mean followers and fellows all, while I'm away I want you to come up with a strategy of how we can sell our association so that we can attract more members and be able to raise funds," was the chairman's instruction.
"You mean we should like, brand ourselves?" asks Mr Kool, in his Tswanamerican accent.
"Brand ourselves? How can we brand ourselves when we are not cattle!" replies Chicken looking genuinely concerned.
"No, we ain't cattle but we can brand ourselves cause we are a product that all city dudes should identify with all over the world!"
"Okay, okay! As long you understand what I mean. We must attract more members and they must feel like they should belong to our association and not be stingy in paying the fees," explains Chicken.
And so it was that the paying members of the Tsogang Banna Julle Bliksems, who also happen to be the non-paying fellows of the Nitty Gritty shebeen, found themselves naturally congregated around the oblong table, drinking and thinking.But not doing both at once.
Then the first thinker says: "If we are to brand the association we need to think of a catchy phrase. One that will stay in the minds of the people!"
The second drinker responds: "It must all reflect what we stand for, who we are, and what we are about!"
"We must also have the right colours. If an old colonial housewife can come up with colours for the Botswana flag, I'm sure we can come up with colours for our association. After all, we are men! Af hou se ek magents?"
Everyone agreed unanimously that it could be done for the simple reason that it had to be done!
"We are a humble association of strong men, so I suggest the motto of 'HUMILITY and VIRILITY BECKON!'" says the first thinker with his chest swelling with pride.
"No, man! That's daft, how can humility be part of virility. Those two just don't go together. Virile guys are just not humble!"
"Now, how on earth would you know about all that? Do you read a lot of men's magazines?"
"Very funny! So why don't you come up with something more relevant since you seem to know everything."
It then became a free for all:
"Opportunity and Visibility Beckon!"
"Invisibility and Humidity Back off!"
"Durability and superficiality..."
"Electricity and Lights Switch on!"
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"Electricity at Sun City Back on!"
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