Bayo Olupohunda
26 March 2008
Lagos — THERE are so many things that are making my life here a living "hell". Suddently, I can no longer sit in traffic for four hours or more in a day because of the absence of traffic logjam! I can no longer buy my pure water and litter the street with its sachet, or board the rickety moving coffin called Molue .Where are the piles of flies infected refuse that dot every major street, including the highbrow areas of my homeland? To make matter worse, I have to now keep appointments as the African time syndrome is a taboo here. Imagine not being able to get to appointment one or two hours late! These Germans are too time conscious. Why should I get to a meeting five or ten minutes to the time when I am used to keeping people waiting in previous appointments and in most cases not turning up at all or even have the decency to call to reschedule or apologize? Where are the area boys and social miscreants? Any "sane" country needs these set of people to heat things up a bit! What is life without being harassed by street urchins? Life will be boring without you constantly having the thought of making a quick get away when these street urchins start to do what they know best.
Consider also that I cannot hop on my ever ready "Okada" or "Keke Maruwa" who will take me on a breakneck speed to my destination. It does not matter if the Okada man is totally drunk on 'Paraga' and driving against the traffic in the manner of a psychopath. What matters is to get to my destination in peace or pieces? Now I have to buy my bus or train ticket monthly. And why are people so law abiding in this town? I am yet to see any motorist that is bold enough to drive against the traffic! Why are the motorist too timid to break a simple law such as driving against the traffic or running through the Zebra crossing? I also do not understand why these motorists have to stop for mere minnows like cats, dogs, pedestrians or even puppies to cross the road. It is totally strange for me. They are simply running out of business the pepper soup seller or the "mai suya" in down town Obalende who will be glad enough to cart away a dog accident victim run over by a deranged Lagos motorist.
The last time we paid a courtesy visit to the State house in this city, I almost mistook the Minister of the State of North Rhine for an ordinary citizen! He came out of his office to meet us with his Secretary and shook hands with everybody. He was just a simple man that boards the rail like everybody else! He drinks coffee down the road unnoticed in coffee shops that line the streets! As he walks along, he shakes hands with everybody, gives a hug here and a word of encouragement there! He stops to have discussions with the elderly, young and old. But I was disappointed seeing this Very Important Personality behave like this! This is totally alien to me. This man would soon lose the respect I have for him. This man does not even know how to "enjoy" power. What is wrong with him I thought to myself? Why is this man degrading this exalted position by walking the streets and talking to ordinary people and having coffee with all these folks while discussing the state of the economy and other state matters?
What do these ordinary folks understand about the "difficult" issues of governance? Where are the Personal Assistants, Senior Personal Assistants, Special Advisers, Commissioners and all the political appointees? Is Germany not a super power nation? Is this city not rated number one city with the highest quality life in the Federal Republic of Germany and number five globally? Where are the retinue of aides and hangers-on I asked myself? These people really need some lessons from our leaders on how to maximize albeit obscenely the use of paraphernalia of office. Imagine, they are even making a big deal in the media of the Minister visiting a public primary school to sit in the class and have coffee with the teachers and pupils thereafter.
Now the light goes off as soon as you leave the vicinity and you will have to switch it back on. For example, your bathroom, kitchen, corridor or garages lights automatically turn themselves off as soon as you leave these places. These account for about thirty five percent of energy saving measures in this country. Why can't I leave all my lights on and put pressure on the transformers and the distribution network? It does not matter if my action is killing our quest to have the proposed number of megawatts that we targeted for eight years despite the 10 million or is it (billion?) dollars spent on energy in my country!
Here you can drive the whole length and breadth of this city at night without having to switch on your car headlamp because the street lights are as bright as the Northern Star. I have also made enquiries and was made to understand that they are powered by solar energy. Even in winter? Why is this so I ask myself when you can drive in pitch darkness in which case you will be lucky to get home unscathed anywhere in my homeland? Driving in Nigeria is pure adrenalin in which case you will also have to watch out for carjackers, ritualists (who can make mince meat of you within the twinkle of an eye), how about the ubiquitous broken down tankers that can snuff life out of any promising Nigerian? The list is endless.
Looking out of the window of my apartment on this snowy and wintry evening, these thoughts continued to plague my mind. Isn't it absurd that what seems civilized and normal in other climes is the opposite in my country? But the question is why do I feel out of place in this civilized environment where things are done with decency? Why is this orderliness a disorder for me? Why do I wish to flee from this state of orderliness and civilization to the state of disorderliness and absurdity that thrive in my homeland? Could it be that years of living in my previous state of disorderliness has affected my psyche so much that it has become difficult for me to adjust to a life of order? I also reflected on the reasons why a lot of promising Nigerians decide to brace the odds to stay put in Europe, the Americas and other parts of the world they have made their adopted homes as a result of the situation in our country. I cannot but help empathize with the desperate conditions that have driven many of them to sojourn in these lands in spite of the difficulties they face in their new environment among which are integration and social acceptance by the natives of these developed countries. Ultimately, I concluded that the redemption of our country lies in every one of us because no matter the situation, there is no place like home.
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