Freedom Newspaper (Raleigh, North Carolina)
Watchman
9 April 2008
1. Grand Master and Commander in Chief of all Demons in The Gambia.
2. Most Photogenic Statesman in all Africa.
3. Cutest Smile Among World Leaders Aged 45 or Younger.
4. Creator of the Air That All Gambians Breathe.
5. Most Playful Leader of All the Universe. Award Given for Playing Musical Chairs With Ministers.
6. Speaker of 7,000 languages.
7. Best Attaya Maker. Retrocactively awarded to 1993 when Jammeh was only a lieutenant .
8. Most Likely to Discipline Rude Journalists. Given to Jammeh by Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez and Mugabe.
9. Best Sportsman at the Suppress Human Rights Olympics held in Pyongyang, North Korea.
10. Excellency in performing medical miracles. This awarded was protested by families of those "cured"
11. Highest Honors in Bush Horticulture. His Excellency can name plants with eyes closed.
12. Proclaimed International Leader with Best Hair by No Democracy Magazine.
13. Master of Arts in Punishment. Graduated on July 23rd 1994. There are many witnesses to this award.
14. Pending PHD in Punishment. His Excellency's final thesis will be on the best way to shut down Freedomnewspaper.
15. 1st Place Medal at the Jola, Fula, Mandinka, Wolof, Serer, Aku, Serahule, Susu, Tukulor, and Balanta Inter House at Independence Stadium.
16. Certificate of Achievement First Class at the World Magician's Forum.
17. 3rd Place at the Statesman Cheating on Their Wives Competition. Bill Clinton took 1st AND 2nd place
Due to the sheer volume of His EXcellency Dr. Yahya Jammeh's Achievment the Watchman cannot print all of them in one instance.
Please stay tuned.
gambiaswatchman@gmail.com
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