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Botswana: Nitty Gritty
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Mmegi/The Reporter (Gaborone)
COLUMN
18 April 2008
Posted to the web 21 April 2008
Barolong Seboni
Gaborone
Queen of hearts We are the at the end of the brainstorming stage of the branding exercise. We now have to decide on which motto to adopt for our organisation.
As you know, dear readers, who in the last two years have been bombarded with all sorts of mottos for all sorts of brands, we have to choose the line that will sell the organisation; 'the phrase that pays', so to speak.
The central committee of the Tsogang Banna Julle Bliksem has the onerous duty of selecting the best from all those that I shared with you last week on these honourable pages.
Being the committed chairman that he is, Chicken took the draft home and narrowed the choice down to only two. This has saved us a lot work, as you can well imagine.
The meeting has commenced and Chicken the chair is on the floor. Actually, he is not on the floor per se, he is in reality on the chair.
To be precise, dear reader, with whom I can be direct and honest, Chicken the chair is 'luxuriating on the comfortability of the green couch', as the fellows like to say in their special brand of Oshkosh English that generates more sound than meaning!
"Gentlemen and lady, madam Recording Secretary, I have taken the liberation to short list the whole deliberation to two mottos. We have to choose from these two.
At this point I shall call upon the Recording Secretary to read out the short list we shall deliberate and pontificate on it"
The Secretary general, who is a man of great formality, a man who treats his job with the seriousness that it deserves, clears his throat and reminds this august and auspicious gathering of the usual formalities that members should attend to and be mindful of.
'Gentlemen and madam Recording Secretary please remember to pay for the round ya maloba because otherwise there shall be visited upon us a great drought and famine of biblical proportions.
There shall be no drinks until we settle the sekoloto, and if there are no drinks, then there can be no free gizzards and chicken livers'.
One of the fellows pushes the kitchen door wide and directs his comments to Ausi Maggie, chief operating officer and monarch of all she serves; "What? No livers and gizzards for the poor lounging lizards? Ausi Maggie, where's your heart, have a heart. Give with your heart!"
Ausi Maggie steps into the lounge defiantly and with her hands firmly on her hips declares; " My heart walked away with menoto, the chicken feet that you eat here free of charge everyday!"
"Ah ," responds another fellow, "your heart is in my stomach! Ag shems!"
"We are full of you! We are full of your heart!" chorused the others."
"In that case," responds Ausi Maggie, moving back into the kitchen from whence ensues the sizzling sounds of livers frying, "in that case I have my heart in the right place!"
And the whole generality of the fellowship in unison echoed, "Amen to that!"
"The meeting shall now come to order! Madam Recording Secretary, please read out the short-list," orders Chicken the chair.
At this point Walkie busied herself with shuffling the papers and then when everyone has settled down, she proceeded to read from the minute book.
"Well Mr Chairman the two that I have underlined are: 'Masculinity and Virility Hardens' the second one is Security and Lack of Opportunity Threatens."
'Thank you, madam. Now gentlemense lets debate and then adopt one of these mottos so that it becomes our rallying cry."
"Well, Mr Chairman, I think we should go for the first one because after all we are true men," suggests one fellow.
"Okay, we are true men but what is being hardened here by our masculinity? We need to interrogate that and come up with pertinent answers," says Nikita in his workshop English.
"Yes, you are quite right comrade. If we are not careful people might think that it is our male attitudes that have hardened us and therefore we tend to be sexist and conservative, even chauvinistic," agrees another fellow.
"But I beg to differ, I think its okay because in a way that motto tells the truth as our attitudes have been hardened by the women's movement.'
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"No,no,no! That won't fly. You mean you want to admit to the whole world that women have made the men of Botswana hard? "
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