The Voice (Francistown)
Kgomotso Tshwenyego
29 April 2008
column
Francistown — There are a number of situations in life that arouse our hatred. Some of the targets of our ill-feelings are a former partner who cheated us in a business deal, a lover who left for someone else, a neighbour who insulted us or an ex-employer who fired us from our job. The harsh words, the thoughtless acts, the insensitive treatment all of these fuel hatred. As a result most of us tend to wish for an opportunity to get back at the person.
You wait for a lover who left you reeling in pain, to come back with their tail between their legs so you tell them they missed on an opportunity and slam the door in their face. But before you do, they get married, have children, become rich, progress in life. Each day your heart aches, you experience fits of fury, you see them in your dreams, in your mind but they don't knock at your door, your phone doesn't ring. We resist trying to resolve the problem that is generating hostility but rather choose to hate than forgive. There are those moments when we like to sit and nurse our wounds delighting in playing the part of the victim, pampering ourselves with self-pitying words.
Hatred will only do us more harm than the pain we've been caused. We think holding a grudge against someone who wronged us will make us feel better. But it doesn't. In reality, keeping a grudge weakens us, creates all kinds of emotional and mental problems. It produces unending anxiety within us, making us miserable, corrupting our emotional well being and clouding our sense of reason and purpose in life.
How does keeping a grudge add value to your life? Let us learn to exchange hatred for love and forgiveness. By doing this, we will free ourselves from the bondage of the green-eyed monster which continuously haunt us and may carry us early to our graves, pelo e eme tsi!
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