Public Agenda (Accra)
12 May 2008
editorial
That God in His own wisdom instituted marriage to glorify Himself has been well documented in the Bible. Indeed other religions besides Christianity also see marriage as a sacred institution, whose preservation should be the concern of society.
Unfortunately, the process leading to marriage has become an uphill task for many, especially, the youth to climb. Marriages have simply become too expensive. It is no more enough to present drinks and gifts (known as dowry), a token of support used to compensate the parents for the loss of services of their daughter. In recent times, this gesture is just the first of many processes the potential husband will go through before the marriage is sanctioned and cemented. The process leading to marriage, itself, is as expensive as the one which comes after the huge party to celebrate the event.
Our society seems to have become more Western in its values than it was about two decades ago, when marriages were less expensive, more traditional, and more meaningful to the couple, the two families, and the entire society. Marriage, hitherto, was a simple event, sanctioned by the two families, which also meant a lot to the couple who found the joy more in finally making public their intentions to spend their lives together than the jamboree that characterized the event. Today, we are told that the engagement ceremony, which is the equivalent of the traditional Ghanaian marriage, is no more "proper" marriage; at least that is the undercurrent message that some of our churches have given us.
Thus, besides the engagement ceremony, which is very expensive some churches, almost as a matter of necessity, require the couple to crown the traditional ceremony with a wedding ceremony, which is also a burden to many families.
Expensive marriages have almost become a must, even for low-income families, due to the fear of what "people" will think .Society has its own requirements for what it considers a "successful" wedding; some churches want to maintain a "certain tradition" and the couple, boxed into the game of perception, will be forced to satisfy potential critics who come to these ceremonies with pen and paper, in hand, to "judge the contest." Guests expect to see a particular style and make of the wedding dress, a specific model and make of the wedding car, and a specific place for the wedding reception.
Today, wedding receptions are no more held on the premises of the church. The net result is that after such expensive weddings the new couple is saddled with huge debts they struggle to pay for the best part of their union. That explains why marriages hardly last beyond two years, due to misunderstanding pertaining to the lack of money to run the home after marriage.
In effect, the cost of organizing a marriage ceremony, the engagement or the wedding ceremony has escalated to the roof through the years. Everything, from the wedding dress to the place for the honeymoon, seems to be so costly that parents and/or the couple end up taking out large loans to organize this event.
The beauty about marriage seems to have been replaced with a material consideration that has become a source of worry to many people. The challenge that confronts many people, especially the youth is that they might not get married as soon as they will want.
Little wonder that both men and women are shying away from marriage. Perhaps, we need to go back to the basics instead of being bogged down by western standards and with that preventing interested people from marrying. The more people fail to marry, the more prostitution will increase.
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