4 July 2008
column
THE president "romped" to a "landslide victory", the Herald told us on Monday.
We all understand what "romp" means! To romp as to bludgeon and subjugate, according to the Zanu PF dictionary on political behaviour (revised edition). But how can you have a landslide with only one candidate?
The big fiction of this election was that there were two candidates. Only by maintaining that fiction could the regime, aided by the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission, pretend that there was "a landslide".
The only landslide we know of was in Pelandaba/Mpopoma and the Minister of Information lay prostrate underneath it!
But despite the strenuous efforts of Mugabe's minders to put a spin on this outcome, the cold hard fact remains that this was an election regarded as profoundly flawed not just by the Western powers but by many of Zimbabwe's allies in the region. The government press tried its best to disguise this but once Mugabe started wagging his finger at the culprits, Herald readers must have realised that not all was well.
For the benefit of those who didn't see the various reactions, the Sadc observer team said the run-off did not reflect the will of the people and that pre-vote conditions impinged on its credibility. They said the process leading up to the vote "did not conform to regional principles and guidelines governing democratic elections".
In Johannesburg, ANC president Jacob Zuma told the ANC Youth League's national conference that the party could not remain quiet when "wrong things were taking place in Zimbabwe", as they would be regarded as "accomplices".
Pan African Parliament observer mission leader Marwick Khumalo told a press briefing that "unpalatable messages" were written on many of the spoilt ballots. He felt "uncomfortable" giving details.
A Sadc observer, who declined to be named, told the press some of the words included "stupid". "Some wrote distasteful things. They were messages of anger," the observer was quoted in The Star as saying.
The Herald carried a heading last Friday morning saying "Zanu PF leads popular vote".
In other words, before a single vote had been cast the Herald was able to report that Zanu PF led the popular vote. As an assumption that was understandable. But as a reported fact?
One of the most important elements in a journalist's professional equipment is a healthy sense of scepticism. In other words, don't just swallow what you are told.
Nobody has told the Herald's columnist Stephen Maimbodei about the need for scepticism. He told us in his narrative of events leading up to the run-off that a "document exposing alleged MDC-T ballot bribery" was published on April 14.
What he didn't tell us is that this was the same document that a High Court judge last week described as "good bedtime reading". Meaning that it was fictional.
He was referring to a clumsy piece of disinformation allegedly authored by Tendai Biti but carrying what his lawyers said was a forged signature.
Justice Ben Hlatshwayo said: "It's a good document for bedtime reading. I have seen a lot of glaring shortcomings in this document because some of the issues and charges are based on assumption of things that did not or will not occur..."
But for Maimbodei and his friends at the Herald it was the Gospel truth. How gullible can you get?
The same gullible lot at ZBC were on Monday telling us about the latest five-year plan for empowerment and economic turnaround. Shouldn't they be asking themselves what happened to the last "turnaround" plan, and all the ones before that which didn't fly?
Listen up you Pollyannas. It won't be the MDC or Sadc that finishes off the Mugabe regime, now showing signs of terminal decay. It will be inflation. Just watch the collapse as the rate of 9 000 000% bites into the fabric of the economy.
Turnaround plans administered by economic illiterates in a situation where you have reckless money-printing will prove fatal to your health. Watch this space!
A very instructive story appeared in the Sunday Mail's Business section last weekend. It centred on the decision by Japan to issue a travel warning on Zimbabwe. But slipped in, almost as an afterthought, was the news that China had done the same thing -- and South Korea.
This was a major setback, African Sun's CEO Shingi Munyeza told the Sunday Mail. Most tourists from Asia were now opting to go to Europe, he said.
Does anybody recall stories about Chinese tourists flooding in? Now the irony: reports of electoral violence have scared away Chinese tourists from the country whose government China regularly defends from criticism, although it must be said with China's recent vote in the Security Council that protection seems to be wearing thin.
The "perception management programme" that was launched by the ZTA has suffered "a serious dent as the negative publicity aimed at the country increased last week", it is now admitted.
But don't worry, the ZTA's Karikoga Kaseke says he will come up with a plan to lobby the authorities from the Asian markets to remedy the situation.
Tourism had been on the mend, the Sunday Mail said, as stakeholders like the Reserve Bank and the government heightened efforts to promote the country as a safe tourism destination.
So, the same government that unleashes the most terrible retribution against innocent people for voting the wrong way in March now thinks it can woo tourists back here by "perception management". The perception, thanks to Zanu PF, is already well established that Zimbabwe is a dangerous place for its own citizens, never mind those from abroad!
The state media doesn't seem to understand the "nature" of the global village. As President Mugabe was being sworn in by the Chief Justice on Sunday, farming families in Chegutu were being savagely beaten by a "war veteran" called Gilbert Moyo and his gang of thugs.
News of that atrocity was on the wires within minutes. SABC TV showed gruesome visuals. So did CNN.
Then Kaseke says he needs to apply "perception management". He's going to have his work cut out!
The Herald, unable to disguise this case of brutality, reported police spokesman Wayne Bvudzijena as saying the Moyo gang were just "common criminals".
How then do we explain film footage of them sitting comfortably on the verandah of the farm they occupied?
There was a need for some "anger management" in Sharm el-Sheik as African Union leaders met on Monday. Pesky reporters challenged President Mugabe on the outcome of the "stolen" election.
It may have been a good idea to have ignored them, as Thabo Mbeki did, but Mugabe was clearly in the mood for a fight. So were the journalists. A verbal battle took place in full view of delegates and things began to look ugly as Gordon Brown's name was bandied about.
At this point Mugabe's Egyptian minders locked arms around his waist and led him out as the exchanges continued even as the president was being carried off. His head was facing a full 180 degrees backwards as he tried to get the last word in! It was all a tad unseemly but ITN's Julian Manyon gets our persistence award for his door-stepping tactics.
Meanwhile, the Sunday Times' social reporter Gwen Gill took issue with "Bob's bilious blouses".
The Mugabes were once natty dressers, she noted, but of late on the campaign trail they have let things slip. Lately, she says, "the Mugabes have lowered the fashion bar by making their His and Hers rally outfits from cheap cotton material, with what looks like old-fashioned razor blades in the design".
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