Concord Times (Freetown)
Bhoyy Jalloh
23 July 2008
opinion
Freetown — On a humid evening last Saturday, I was at my cousin's house in Alexandria, Virginia attending a baby shower. The basement hall was jam-packed with women among them were very few men.
This is a scene one sees in many Sierra Leonean gatherings here in America these days when women outnumber men; more than two-to-one in some instances.
Many factors led to the shortage of Sierra Leonean men here in the United States. The problem started back in the free wheeling days when government ministers brought their mistresses and girlfriends with them on trips and left them here. That was followed by the war which portrayed Sierra Leonean men as monsters, preventing many from getting visas to migrate to the United States.
The shortage of men is much more visible here in the Washington DC, metropolitan area that covers the states of Virginia, Maryland the District of Columbia.
Hundreds of single, divorced or widowed Sierra Leonean women, some desperate for love and affection, drive the streets of Alexandria, Woodbridge, Fairfax, Falls Church, Arlington, Landover, Lanham, Upper Marlboro, Bowie and Washington, DC. Most of these women are not only beautiful but are also loaded with cash, driving expensive cars.
For all you con artists out there in Freetown, who think this is an opportunity to con some Sierra Leonean sisters in the US to bring you over, think again. The main reason many Sierra Leonean women in the US are single is that they have had bad experiences with men.
Many of us men are simply not satisfied with one woman and that has created numerous problems for Sierra Leonean marriages here. Although these women are looking for relationships, they are looking for men who will love and cherish them, "forsaking all others".
So how do we tackle the men shortage problem and prevent the "jug man" fiasco that now prevails in our community where married men with children become prime targets of some women who are desperate to find a spouse?
The first line is for us men to really mean it when we say "I do." As my mother once told me, if your girlfriend looks ugly without wearing make-up, imagine how she will look after she has had three babies.
In essence, if one's only criterion for marriage is physical beauty and not the beauty of character that actually makes a relationship work, then they have to keep looking a long time as that beauty gradually fades away even in this age of cosmetics and buttocks.
Sierra Leonean women also have to hold on to their men. No man likes to be ordered around even if they make less income. Make time for love. I do not care what you do for a man if love, sex and affection are missing they will look for that somewhere else.
Men also have dropped some of their old ways and move with the times. Buying flowers for Valentine's Day and giving gifts for Mother's Day are very important to many Sierra Leonean women here in the US.
As we deal with men shortage here in the US, a few women have gone back to Sierra Leone and "imported" their husbands. My only fear is once those husbands become established in the states; they may be tempted by the numerous women who are looking for men to marry.
For now, men are in low supply, making us as expensive as gasoline. This is a playboy's heaven that is also a haven for trouble.
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