Financial Gazette (Harare)
CZ
7 August 2008
column
Harare — Dear Cabinet and Politburo members,
COMRADES, the talks are going on well. From the briefing that I have been given by our party's representatives to these talks, looks like something is definitely shaping up, something that posterity will remember us for. Anytime soon, you will be getting the outcome of the talks, and I can assure you the result will be good for this country and everyone.
I know many of you have been dead against these talks and that others are feeling downright betrayed that I decided to engage Morgan Tsvangirai in talks. But you all know that as much as we might have won the elections so convincingly, there are some situations where we need to put the interests of the country first.
It was not an easy decision for me to make, but I had to go that route because that was the best available.
I share your concerns that the government of national unity means that quite a number of you will no longer be accommodated as Cabinet ministers in the new government as we will have to make way for officials from the other parties, but this is not the end of the world. If anything, most of you should be grateful that you have had the privilege of serving your country at such high levels, not many get that chance.
If any of you were in my shoes, what would you do?
Sanctions are real, they are biting hard and there is a limit to which our friends in the East can help us. Like in the case of note paper, they cannot help us import it, last week we had to resort to revaluing some old coins that had long been discarded, and some bank notes that we could not introduce in the market last year after they had been overtaken by events.
But to do all this, we had to wait until such a time when it was possible to remove 10 zeroes so that the re-valuing process became logical and easy to explain to the people out there. I just cannot help but wonder what we will do in the next few weeks when the coins become worthless again. Right now you all know that we hardly have any fuel, not because our own Noczim is unable to import, but because these sanctions make it difficult for us to easily access the commodity. Remember most of the world's largest oil companies operating in our country are either British or American.
Everything is simply not going the way it is supposed to be. As much as we have our own egos, sometimes we have to put the interests of the people first. In fact, I should confess Cdes, that it was a very hard decision for me to make. You all know that "Never, Ever" had grown to become one of my middle names, but I realised that I needed to face realities on the ground.
Let us wait and see what comes out of these talks.
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
Abused
CZ is told that some war veterans are fleeing their homes in some parts of Matabeleland South after being invaded by some injivas, those no nonsense Zimbabwean fellows who work and stay in South Africa. They have been returning and heading straight to homes of those war veterans who terrorised their relatives in the run-up to the presidential run-off election and dealing with them thoroughly.
CZ is told that the trend is that when the hapless war veterans rush to make police reports, the police officers, most of whom are fulltime opposition acti-vists, do nothing about it. If they do something, it would be to arrest some of these same war veterans "for their own safety".
Isn't it sad that some of our liberators are now sleeping with one eye wide open in a country that they have just re-liberated because they don't know when next an injiva will strike.
That is the unfair part of politics. Many are still nursing wounds, some of which many never heal. Others are counting the wealth they lost in the madness, and worse still, more are yet to come to terms with the death of their loved ones.
The poor villagers, who were made to axe each other, remain troubled. Some of them cannot even join the same queue for BACOSSI hampers. This is the sad side of African politics. We use and abuse each other.
Grabbed
The BACOSSI hampers are being distributed well around the country, save for cases in which ZANU-PF thugs are reportedly following known opposition supporters and grabbing the groceries from them. The victims are told that they should get their share from Tsvangirai and the British.
In cases where chiefs and village heads double up as ZANU-PF officials, the poor villagers have no one to report to, lest they are expelled from the villages. CZ is told of cases where some opposition members only get candles. Knowing this country as much as we do, that was expected.
Robbed
Last week, yours truly could not deliver because of circumstances beyond his control. It had nothing to do with the coins rush that gripped the country following the Good Governor's policy statement, which saw some poor people rise from the dead after turning to their discarded coins for some relief.
Neither had CZ rushed to the village to get his share of the BACOSSI windfall.
Who ever said Zimbabwe is the eighth wonder of the world was dead right. Zimbabwe is just one place that no one can afford to be away from for just a day because so much is happening. This coins story is just one such surprise that this country has to offer at any given time.
Well after realising that coins had bounced back into circulation, this week CZ rushed to his former landlord's place in Glen View where he left sacks and sacks of coins that accumulated from his prolific drinking sprees, only to discover that the landlord had used the coins and deposited some into his own bank account, how criminal?
Naturally, CZ will in the next few days be seeking justice before the coins become useless again. He has been deprived of a chance to join the "looting" spree.
A friend asked CZ this one. His grandmother died last year and left behind lots of coins that accumulated from her ndari business. So should these coins be added to her estate? Or these are what are called free funds?
Wonderful
Well, CZ would like to commend the Zimbabwe Union of Journalists for two things, the proposed ARV roll-out programme for its members, and the court action that saw the High Court ordering the re-instatement of some eight or so ZBC journos, who had been summarily suspended for allegedly not looking mournful enough when ZANU-PF lost the harmonised March 29 elections.
Well, we are told that there has been an official position by vindictive management at the corporation that these returnees should be ignored out of existence until they are frustrated into leaving on their own.
Hanzi vanofanira kuenda kunoshanda ku-High Court kwacho ikoko, kana ku-ZUJ because the war vet brother there will not brook any interference in ZBC's internal affairs by anybody!
It is typical of the official lawlessness that has scandalised this country, but this should not deter the brothers and sisters.
Who said he who laughs last laughs longest? Wait until these talks come to their logical conclusion.
Still talking of the incestuous relationship between ZANU-PF and ZBC, in the run-up to the controversial June 27 presidential election run-off, ZANU-PF hogged all the electronic media and splashed its adverts. We wonder if those adverts were paid for because until this week ZBC had not been able to pay its workers their July salaries.
Obviously Happison Muchechetere would blame this New Ziana syndrome on "illegal sanctions by the imperialist West"
Cde AS
Still on ZBC, has anyone out there also become bored by watching the same analysts on those ZANU-PF self-serving programmes like Zimbabwe Today, Melting Pot, Boredom Unlimited and such others?
There is this fellow who just cannot let a day pass by without lecturing Zimbos on the liberation struggle, illegal sanctions and how wonderful the Chinese are as a people. CZ is told the brother is now called Cde Anglo-Saxon from his advertised hate of the British and Americans (He literally worships the Chinese to such an extent that his own patriotism becomes suspect).
Since his controversial re-call from the diplomatic service and his loss in the March elections, the brother seems to have decided to become an analyst full time. Hopefully, those who will shortly be handpicking a new Cabinet will not be too cruel as to fail to notice him.
His self-invitation to all political discussion forums on TV seems to be bordering on abuse. It's good that he lost the elections. He has actually gone to the extent of reserving a parking slot for himself at the broadcasting centre.
Wasu
This one is on the coins madness again. "Wadiwa Beloved Son. Ndibambo wako ungobviroite, write to inform you that chiregera hako kuzvinetsa ngekutitumira mari because we are now empowered.
Kuno taakungobviroite pick and spend. VaMugabe vakanaka too much, vakatipa 100 percent empowerment yavakatiita promise pama-elections apfuura . . . Blah, blah."
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