Helen Ovbiagele
24 August 2008
MANY readers felt very strongly about the above topic and reactions flowed steadily in throughout the week.
Some are of the opinion that governments at all levels are not doing enough for the youths, and it is time for them to be alive to their responsibilities before the entire social structure collapses and the nation comes under siege.
As usual, parents were blamed for not keeping enough strict eye on their wards, especially the girls. The school was blamed for not teaching family life education and sensitizing both male and female pupils on unwanted pregnancies, sexually-transmitted diseases and relationships with members of the opposite sex.
'Madam Helen, thank you for your write-up the other week. Let me state here that we don't have people-friendly governments anywhere in the country, in spite of the promises that are made all over the place. Our politicians, many of them, are hollow. I don't know why we bother to listen to them, let alone believe them.
We're fed lofty promises during campaigns and when they're given power, they forget the masses. Yet, we have the resources, both human and material, to make this country great, beginning with catering for the needs of our youth. Why is it difficult to enforce the ban on street trading and hawking in traffic?
It's because you'd be taking an important means of livelihood away from many families. Who are those who hawk in traffic? Mainly young people. Why do they hawk? Because they have no education or vocational training that would ensure them and their parents a decent living.
Adult unemployment
With high adult unemployment, many families have to pull their kids out of school (that's if they were able to send them to school in the first place), so that they can go hawk on the streets. You'd be surprised at the number of families that are dependent on those kids dashing between vehicles. Girls who have nothing to hawk, hawk their bodies around. Unwanted teenage pregnancies abound, and it shouldn't shock us that girls are being persuaded to sell their babies.
Our rulers should know that young people are the future of any country, and if we want peace in our old age, in a very low crime-rate country, the government should take care of the needs of our young people now. Otherwise, criminal activities and diseases will continue to rise. Thanks.' Ahmed, Lagos.
'I agree that it is possible for Nigeria to make life better for her children. Why is it not possible under the socio-economic system? There is stealing in high places because it is wrongly operated by those who are indifferent to social justice. Way out?
Overthrow the social order and the ruling class. And build a new society and a new man. Otherwise, under the system, anything can be bought and sold. Bye.' Amos Ejimonye, Kaduna. 'In my opinion, ma, that girl is to blame for the situation in which she found herself. Going to have a boyfriend and allowing him sex was quite foolish of her.
Didn't she know that she could get pregnant if she has unprotected sex? Even remote villages are aware of the use of the condom.
There are jingles on radio and television, and bill boards all over the place, reminding people to have responsible sex if they can't abstain. If sleeping with men was the only way she could feed, at fifteen, she should be sensible enough to insist on condom by her partner. Saying that she got pregnant because her father didn't care for her and her siblings was silly.
Why couldn't she look for two hundred naira with which to buy and sell pure water, and be financially independent? Though poor, I'm sure her father could lend her that small amount of money to start trading. Even friends and relations can help her out if she tells them she wants to trade.' Thanks, ma. Patience, Aba.
'Auntie Helen, my humble view is that it is the moral decadence in the society which played itself out in the life of that teenage mother. If she had not been sexually active at such an early age, she wouldn't use her body to cater for her needs.
Hasn't she seen girls her age, hawking groundnuts, bananas, pure water, etc. in the markets or even in traffic? She lost her mother, and her father couldn't cope with looking after the family financially, and then her thoughts turned to sex as a means of getting money for her welfare. She should have been prepared for the consequences of her choice.
You have a point, auntie, where you said that all local governments should provide shelters for such girls so that they would not be tempted to sell their babies, but knowing Nigerians and their free-loading habit, even young girls who are married would run to these shelters while pregnant so that they would have free care, accommodation and healthcare for themselves and their babies.
I think the best thing is to force parents to take in their pregnant teenage daughters, and when the baby arrives, a DNA test should be conducted at the appropriate time on the boyfriend to find out if he could be the father. If he is, then by law, he should be forced to pay maintenance.
You wrote once on an organization known as CHILD SUPPORT AGENCY in the western world, which legally sees that fathers pay maintenance for their kids. We should have such an organization here. Men shouldn't just put girls in the family way, and be allowed to go free simply because they can deny strongly. Thank you, auntie. Mary, Ibadan.
'Madam, parents have failed woefully in this generation. Some are pursuing money and position to the detriment of their offsprings' emotional welfare. Teenage pregnancy happens among the rich too where the girls can't confide in their parents, and their movements are not well-monitored.
Where girls have the ear of their mothers, it would be easy to have regular heart-to-heart talk with them which could pull them back from the brink of making costly mistakes.
If a girl has no mother, the father should liaise her with a close female relation who can help direct her. If that girl had that option, the pregnancy could have been caught early and a decision made by the family whether to keep it or have the baby adopted when the girl's boyfriend rejected her.
Also, pregnancy might not have happened as the female relation would have counselled her properly about having boyfriends.' Madam Mercy, Warri.
'When the father of that teenage girl drove her out when her boyfriend denied being responsible for her pregnancy, I'm sure he never dreamt that the matter could end with a threat of the baby being put up for sale. He probably drove her out in the heat of the moment and in financial despair.
This is why the government should come to the rescue of girls with unwanted pregnancy.
There should be counselling units for them in the Department of Health and Social Welfare of local governments.
There, they should be encouraged to keep the pregnancy, and counselled along with their parents. Fostering or Adoption should be discussed with them if they say that they can't look after the baby financially when it arrives. Whichever one they agree to, should be done legally and according to laid down rules.
They should be given free ante- and post-natal care, and free delivery too. I wonder why she had to go to a private hospital instead of heading for a general hospital. However, let's be thankful to God that that nurse took her in and looked after her, and she didn't fall victim to ritualists.
I don't support the sale of babies or any human being, but at least the girl was given a roof over her head when she badly needed care.' Daniel, Uyo.
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