Vincent Ujumadu
25 August 2008
Awka — THE Prefect of the Congregation of Divine Worship and Discipline of Sacrament in the Vatican, Francis Cardinal Arinze has criticized those who seek divorce as a way of solving marital problems, saying divorce has adverse and negative consequences on children and the society in general.
Speaking at his annual lecture tagged "Upholding The Diginity of the Family" at the Bassilica of The Most Holy Trinity, Onitsha, he charged Christians to honour and uphold the rights, duties and dignity of the family, urging them to start seeing marriage as coming from God and the basic cell of society.
"Children of broken homes and families devoid of peace, mutual respect and the fear of God, often end up engaging in juvenile delinquency and becoming street urchins. Such homes produce children who never experienced what it means to be loved by their parents and they are often sent out to beg or to work when they should be in school, and the outcome of such morally corrupt families is that the society will be in trouble.
"Divorce tears marriage apart. It desolates both husband and wife. It leaves the children not only in tears but also in misery. We do not deny that there can be serious disagreement between husband and wife, but divorce is not the solution. When husband and wife have a disagreement, they should reflect, pray, sit together and discuss. Accept fault where you are wrong, ask for pardon, or consult a priest or other spiritual adviser, but do not divorce."
Read comments. Write your own.
Copyright © 2008 Vanguard. All rights reserved. Distributed by AllAfrica Global Media (allAfrica.com). To contact the copyright holder directly for corrections — or for permission to republish or make other authorized use of this material, click here.
AllAfrica aggregates and indexes content from over 125 African news organizations, plus more than 200 other sources, who are responsible for their own reporting and views. Articles and commentaries that identify allAfrica.com as the publisher are produced or commissioned by AllAfrica.
God hates Divorce.I support the Cardinal.Lets always try and tolerate each other in love.
Sir, we need to re-explain marriage!
Francis Cardinal Arinze’s advice on marriage places the cart in front of the horse that should pull it. There is urgent need to re-define marriage, with a view to unveiling the age-old foundation on which this institution is based.
Marriage is a coming together of man and woman as husband and wife, with a view to begetting offspring to continue their lineage and the society.
Our ancestors knew this fundamental truth about marriage and that is why divorce was rare during their time. Misunderstandings could lead to temporary separations of husband and wife until the elders of both families resolved the issues and re-united the couple. Begetting children and raising them being the principal objective of marriage, other problems arising from family life were considered secondary and relegated to the province of the to-be-learned art of living together.
Instead of the ineffective and worn-out counsels about the need to fear some God of marriage, we should re-explain to all concerned why men and women get married: to beget children and raise them to continue our lineage and society.
Cardinal Arinze is Igbo and I would draw his attention to the following facts. In Igbo we have:
(1) Marriage = önünü di na nwunye (becoming husband and wife) ka e wee müchie obi (to continue the lineage). Note that, for the Igbo, marriage is a process. (2) Love (verb) = fü n'anya; hü n'anya (see with one's eyes, see something for what it truly is). (3) Love (noun) = ïfünanya; ïhünanya
Query: Where do we place love, or deep mutual acceptance, in the process of marriage?
It is evident that love (hate, too!) is a product of the process itself. Love in marriage is the product of a deep mutual acceptance of husband and wife in the realization of their common goal of continuing the lineage or ï müchi obi.
Thus, as regards marriage, our ancestors are surely wiser than we are. Those men and women went into marriage, not because of some fictitious love, but to continue the lineage or ï müchi obi.