Rwembeho Stephen
22 September 2008
opinion
Kigali — Most people are foreseeing a new society where patriarchy will end and be replaced by another form that could be matriarchy. This reaction of course, came after women took overwhelming representation in parliament, they will have 56.25% of the total seats in parliament.
Furthermore, Rwandan women have been greatly empowered at grassroots level across the country, to the extent that equality is not far from being attained.
Nevertheless, our concern is not about the big number of women joining parliament, but the backlash to the general process to have Rwandans embrace the idea of gender equality. Indeed this is a great challenge in a country that has been predominantly patriarchal for ages.
There is however, no much surprise as human beings by nature fear change- Rwandan men therefore, in a way feel imperilled, once patriarchy as a system becomes obsolete.
Historically, Rwandan society like most other African ones, downgraded the status and potential of women. This created a typical patriarchal society.
A society controlled by men - they directed political, economic, and cultural life. Women's role right from the family level was minimal- the husband and father for example, determined fundamental conditions and made key decisions.
In fact, Patriarchal family structure rested on men's control of most or all property, starting with land. Marriage was based on property relationships- complete subordination to men, was a normal condition for the vast majority of women.
A prevailing symptom of patriarchal families was the fact that, after marrying, a woman usually moved to the home (and often the residence) of her husband's family.
Marriages were arranged for women by their parents, with a formal contract being drawn up- the husband serving as authority over his wife and children.
A woman was generally left in this inferior position, where she was regarded as a man's property. Though most the said practices are still alive, today the trend of events is changing in most of the world generally, and in Rwanda particularly.
However, great challenge still stands our way, for even women do not wholesomely embrace the change. In fact, patriarchy (understandably) raises important questions about women themselves.
Women like men had internalized the culture of patriarchy, holding that it was their job to obey and to serve men and accepting arguments that their aptitudes were inferior to those of men.
"Will the women members of parliament be able to fulfil their duties as men do, with all their assignments at home ( pregnancy, children bearing and care) and natural weakness," commented one Mukangarambe Francoise, a Kigali city dweller.
The lady Francoise probably forgot that a woman MP will definitely have to be relieved of most her former duties at home. However, this is where the complexity comes in.
The fear of women (and men) is ingrained in what the society had prepared them to believe.
"While women were not reduced to literal servitude by most patriarchal systems, they might have come close. Their options were severely constrained. Girls were raised to assume submissive conditions, and boys were raised with full consciousness of their distinctiveness", a historian Theodole Mayimana, observes.
What do we have to do in such circumstances? The concept of gender equality must be taught in a more understandable way, with a methodology that touches the traditional beliefs with care.
For gender equality to be meaningful it must be born in the families first, for it is where most resistance is experienced. In addition, the rural illiterate families should be given exceptional concern, whenever they are taught gender issues.
It should be remembered that, only rural areas hold the values we still cherish today- they inevitably hold them alongside some traditional stereotypes and prejudices against women.
This is why the issues is complex and fragile, hence needing a sophisticated approach, that does not jeopardize any of the parties. Our long journey should not under any circumstances, affect our culture- we have to waive what is bad and retain what is good.
In modern agriculture, it is wrong to apply a non-selective weed killer, for it will not spare your crops too. In our situation too, we have to apply a selective weed killer to guard our culture.
We should not be hardliners-masculinists or feminists, for extreme positions won't help us at all. What we need is the line that cuts across the two- a kind of positive dichotomy.
In short, what Rwanda needs is a situation where its children grow up with equal opportunities and respect. No woman or man should feel superior-this is what equality is all about.
As for the quota system that gives chance for women to get the exclusive 30%, we should only see it as a push one gives to a young runner, when his/her friends leave him/her behind in a race.
It is a kind of positive discrimination, like one given to girls (affirmative action) in some countries, as they push forward in their studies. It will at certain point stop and should not bother anyone at this stage.
We (men) want our daughters, wives and sisters to be given fair treatment in society, for our benefit too. It is immaterial, to go into debates whether children in future, will be named after their mothers, or if men will start shifting to a woman's home when they marry, etcetera.
Give time chance-in any case, some of these things have started happening and we do not see any thing wrong. This is a slow historical change we cannot overemphasize.
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