Kampala — Animal farm

Local government minister Kahinda Otafiire on Tuesday amused Parliament when he said Kampala City Council (KCC) had turned the city into an 'animal farm'. "Tourists are welcomed by flower gardens fenced with barbed wire instead of green gardens. The impression one gets in a city is an enclosure of animals. "In Europe and other cities green natural vegetation is treasured. In the United Arab Emirates green is treasure number one, while in Uganda the natural beauty scenery is replaced by barbed wire. Otafiire was requesting parliament to approve $ 33.6m to revamp the city.

Fiery Matembe

Former ethics and integrity minister Miria Matembe is a straight talker. Commenting on the NSSF/Temangalo land sale, she said on Monday: "God gave me a talent and a mouth to talk like a sharp sword and legs to kneel down and pray. God will punish security and finance ministers Amama Mbabazi and Dr. Ezra Suruma. She went on: "I will criticise the wrongs committed by the ruling NRM. I don't fear to be jailed as long I speak the truth. Why has the NRM MPs cleared Mbabazi, Suruma and the NSSF management of any wrongdoing?" Matembe is a born-again Christian.

Sleeping pills

The local government committee probing the mismanagement of funds of Kawempe and Makindye divisions was shocked on Monday when they were treated to a breakfast of cassava, liver, milk and water. This was at Tick Hotel in Kawempe. "Cassava is a sleeping pill. We shall slumber in the committee this morning. This might have been intended to divert our minds while grilling the witnesses," committee chairperson Jacob Oulanya jokingly said. Another member amused the probe when he called the waiter to serve him with more 'timber', meaning cassava.

Ochom's analysis

Kampala Extra Police boss Edward Ochom is a humourous man with endless jokes. He amused MPs probing police on Monday that unlike other MPs, Kampala Central MP Erias Lukwago changes like a chameleon. "Lukwago is unpredictable. You agree with him on one issue but he changes like a chameleon. Ochom said Lukwago is a lawyer, and a legislator, but does not respect the laws.

Last year the legislator caused commotion at Nakasero market when he alighted from a taxiwearing wearing a T-shirt with the inscriptions "Hands off Kampala city". As soon as Ochom mentioned the incident, the committee members burst into laughter.