Henry Umoru
15 November 2008
Polygamy is a crime in Europe. There, it is one man one wife. But Chief Rolf Schneider has spent almost 30 years in Nigeria. And one of the effects on him is that he is now a polygamist having married two wives in the country.
A German and the Managing Director/CEO, RoSuli Tech. Logistic and Support Services Limited, Schneider explains the reason behind his polygamy with Saturday Vanguard, his life in Nigeria, the country's traditional system, the economy, judiciary, among other salient issues. Excerpts:
Your wife's community gave you a title. May we know about her?
Well, I can say my wife came from a poor family. Her grandmother brought her up. My wife's name is Suzy Ngozi, but she was brought up in your traditional way. My second wife had called her severally as village girl, but I am quite pleased and happy with that because she respects the husband, the rules in the husband's house. She is a good wife to me.
How did you meet Ngozi?
I met her in a restaurant. She was a kitchen helper in Lagos. She was very young and I met her there and something built up.
And you are still together?
Of course. We have been married since 1985 and we are still together.
At what point did you consider having a second wife and what really happened?
The reason was that we were not having children. So, that was one of the reasons why I had to look for somebody. Her name is Felicia. I like her, the way she was behaving and she agreed to be a second wife.
She agreed to respect my first wife, and of course we married and I also showed her I meant it. She agreed to be wife with every consequence. My first wife was not really happy about it, she even threatened me that she would leave me, but her elders in the village and her mother really advised her and that she is not the first and the last that will get a second wife. Finally, she agreed to stay and we are happy because she helps me to take care of my children.
Did you marry Felicia in a traditional way?
Yes, I married her in her village in Benue State. I paid her dowry and we did all that was necessary to be done.
It was alleged that the marriage was on contract.
No, there was no contract. There was no any measurement of anything, I married her. I paid dowry and the village elders handed her over to me and they said to her then, 'please follow your husband'. There was no contract
Where did you marry her and what year?
It was in her village in Makurdi, It was in 2006.
At what point did you actually fall out with Felicia? What really happened?
It started when she was pregnant. She was pregnant and I decided even before we married to bring her to my house. She was brought into the house. She was welcomed, but Felicia drastically changed. I made several complaints to her family members that she was fighting, making trouble, not doing her work as a wife.
They said it was because of the pregnancy that women behaved very funny. So, I put my hope on the time after the pregnancy. But it was coming from day to day, and more. It got to a point that when she delivered my children, the children were just two weeks, I called her from Germany and she was in the market and I asked her where are my children. She said she left them "with my mother." I said how can you leave two weeks old children, she said "don't worry my mother will take care of them".
So, already Felicia started making trouble everyday. She would tell me that she won't accept my house. She wants a house in Maitama, Asokoro and well furnished and she wanted a new car. She wanted a nanny for the children, a cook, a driver and N500,000 every month. Of course I said no, but she said 'I will make trouble with you till you give me what I want'.
And she made everyday more terrible for me. At a certain point, she ran away with the children. I had to send the church people there to beg her to come back because the environment she stayed was not good.
After nearly two weeks, she came. In the house she was the queen, the steward would serve her. I must cook for her and her family. She brought people to this house. There were women visiting her. Things disappeared in this house.
When you tell her Felicia, I don't want visitors in our bedroom, Felicia took visitors upstairs without any apologies. My expensive camera disappeared. You see people in your house, you don't know who they are.
When you tell her all these, she will make trouble and the trouble got to an extent that she started fighting me physically in the presence of my stewards several occasions. I did not act because my mother trained me that I must not beat a woman,
even at any slightest provocation. She used the children against me; she left them when they were sick. The boy nearly died. He was not eating, drinking. Felicia did not care about them. I was always thinking Felicia would realise she is my wife even when she had visited my village, seen my parents, sisters and brothers.
But reaching Germany, the first day Felicia arrived, seeing my 70-year old father first time, instead of kneeling down as my other wife does, Felicia just said, 'hi, I am Felicia. Even my poor father was looking because Suzy used to kneel down as your women do.
But Felicia just said, 'hi, I am Felicia'. She disgraced me so much in Germany that after that day I left. The village headmaster was telling me that he knows my other wife for over 25 years and he never believed what he heard in the newspapers in Germany about Nigeria and their women.
He said now I know what it means since he knew Felicia, the whole village said that is what we are seeing in TV and reading, now we see it naturally. My father told Felicia, don't ever come to my house. But for Felicia to say grandfather, 'forgive, she said, ' no problem, you will not see your grand children either, I will not bring them ever to Germany'.
It was there Felicia told me 'if we arrived in Nigeria, I will not follow you to your house'. That she would go and stay with her people. , that I will not see the children again till they are 18. That made me to call a friend in Nigeria; he called the police people to the airport to escort us to the house.
The next day, Felicia was trying to pack her things and go with the children. I did not allow her. She said no. I told her, she will not go. In presence of the security and other people, she said if she could not leave this house with the children, the children would die in this house.
After she said that, I wrote a petition to the police and I called in a lawyer to put in a divorce because a mother cannot threaten to kill her own children but she repeated it severally. So the matter has gone to the court.
The first day I remembered, the justice said, 'Felicia, in cases like this we always advise. You are the woman, you can at any time say please my husband forgive me.' Felicia said forgive what?
Gradually Felicia had parked her things. I was served a court paper that Felicia has sued me for N130 million. I asked the man that brought the paper, where is the woman.
He said she is in her house in Kubwa. I said where in Kubwa? He said she has an address in Kubwa. I said I will not receive your paper. My lawyer received the paper. He said that is why she has left you. She cannot sue you for N130 million and live with you as a wife.
We checked the address and we found out that Felicia for the whole time married to me she has kept a secret house in Kubwa.
I started to investigate Felicia. Her mother will always insist I should not worry seeing any of their family members.
Till the day I paid dowry, I have not seen a single man from her family. She said her junior bother Harrison, who is just 20 years old, I should pay dowry to him. Can you imagine this? I said no, dowry will be paid to the elders. So, they were forced to bring me to the village and I found that they are not in good mood with the elders.
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