Chioma Gabriel
21 November 2008
opinion
Daisy on her way back to the Permanent Campus bought a newspaper and settled on the Poet's page.
She was reading a poem on the military take-over. She tried to paraphraze, then to memorize it. She concluded that the poem must have been written by an enraged statesman.
Maureen who was saying as Daisy entered the room that the new Kick Against Indiscipline should better start there, asked her what was news at the Temporary Campus, telling her that fear has gripped the degree students and there was rumour about the removal of the Provost and the Registrar at their campus. Daisy said it was the same thing but that Temporary Campus was even worse that many students were going on transfer.
After some weeks a Palmbeach daily newspaper published a story confirming the affiliation of the school to National University. The students celebrated, but the story was coun-tered by a national weekly so the uncertainty continued.
However, the axe of the Kick Against Indiscipline fell on the Provost and the Registrar and they were dismissed.
Read on!
The scuffle had taken place two weeks earlier. That was after the first semester exams and we had resumed after the Christmas break. Bimpe and Dupe did not return the day we were supposed to resume. and we were worried. It had taken them another week and even more. Maureen had been trying to persuade us to visit them at their various homes to see what was keeping them. Then, that night, a girl from the same town with Bimpe had told us that Bimpe had gotten married. We could not believe it. Even Dupe.
Also married. Under two weeks. One week I'd say. Before the break, they never told us to anticipate such a thing even though Bimpe was engaged. But according to the girl, who told us the news, Bimpe had married a different person. Not the person she was engaged to. The husband was living Overseas. Fortunately our transport fare was saved when Bimpe returned the next morning and Dupe in the evening. Curiosity overwhelmed us.
"What's that we're hearing Bimpe! Marriage! So soon! No preamble! Just like that! You did not invite us."
"It was done in a hurry," Bimpe had kept smiling.
"In a haste! Are you pregnant? This man we learnt is different... not your former fiancé." Nkem almost spat the words. "A life-long contract done in a haste! You surprised us Bimpe. Who's this man that carried you off your feet?"
"Ah the man!" beamed Bimpe. "He's good. Very kind. Generous. Helpful. Hardworking. Treats you like a queen. An epitome of love and loveliness. Tender. Very caring. He's worth the haste. I dare not miss such a bright opportunity. I have no regrets about the hasty manner. A nice catch. Really!"
We were stupefied except for the tick-tuck of the time-piece on the table.
"What's he doing for a living.?" Nneka, her room-mate asked with a mixture of sneer and jealousy. No! Malice. I couldn't blame her. Such a hasty marriage. No courtship. No knowledge of one another.
"He's a student at Iowa in the United States. A second degree student. But his father is rich. So he has no problems financially."
"No wonder. You've said it.' Nneka said.
"Said what?" Bimpe demanded hotly, no doubt smelling the malice in her voice.
"Why you married him. Not for love. Just riches. Overseas. In no time, you'll start planning to meet him up there. That's why you jilted your former boyfriend and fiancé."
"Who wouldn't?" Bimpe had replied.
"Do you know whether he is married to a white lady up there?" Bimpe smiled at the malicious statement. Then replied.
"I know the man I married. He's not that type of man. I have him here..." she had thrust out her palm and pointed. "I have him in my palm. No way out."
"You're just talking."
"It's the whole truth."
"Let's hope. But I've seen a man... a plastic surgeon who was living overseas. Louisiana, New Orleans. He came home and married from his village and went back with her to the United States. On getting there, the girl found out that her husband was living with a negress. An actress. The man had introduced his wife to the actress as his younger sister and the actress to his wife as his colleague. This man had fun with the negress in the presence of his wife.
The girl had no alternative than to accept her fate. Then one day the actress left. The man thought she'd gone for good and apologised to his wife. The girl had forgiven him. They started living as man and wife. Just as things were turning out right, the actress came back and caught them red-handed, naked in bed. She could have killed the two of them but because she professed to love the man, she led the girl out at gun point... Imagine. And there are thousands of similar stories. Ask anybody around. People always have stories to tell."
"What are you implying?" inquired Bimpe.
"That you be careful with your oversea husbands. You and Dupe."
To surprise us further, Bimpe brought out from her bag a wad of envelope and threw it at us. I caught it, tore it and brought out the contents. Marriage certificate and pictures. Surprised, I showed the others.
"I know you will think me crazy. That's why I insisted on this wedding at the registry. I want to be sure I'm truly married. Now you can see for yourselves. It's no jokes," Bimpe explained.
"You're congratulating yourself for what you'd done. Hooking a man and dragging him to the registry. All under two weeks. Lets analyse it - introduction, courtship, traditional marriage, wedding, all under two weeks. Don't congratulate yourself yet. Just pray. This place is not America. You surprised us Bimpe. I wonder at you."
Frustrated, Bimpe had snatched the envelope from us and turned back, pulling off her new silk dress and settling for a casual open necked traditional material.
"Go away all of you," she had shouted at us. "I hate you all. Every one of you is jealous of me. Jealous that I'd been fortunate to make a quick and nice catch. Go... all of you. Bloody bitches!"
That incident had spoilt the relationship between us and Bimpe. It was now rather casual. She must have narrated the story to Dupe because soon, Dupe's attitude changed and the two of them started moving together. But Dupe still maintained the X-ray relationship with me which we never showed too often.
A knock at the door started my near slumber. Nneka walked in. She was wearing tight jeans, making her huge self look bigger. Big ass. Flat tummy. Big and pointed boobs. Figure eight. She sat on the edge of the bed.
"Sleeping beauty. Maureen and Nkem are not yet back. I saw your two friends coming. What are that their names. Titi and Amaka. I saw them coming towards..."
Another knock. Titi and Amaka bustled in.
"Sleeping on a beautiful Sunday. Hello Nneka! Get up you sleepy head!" Titi pinched my shoulder.
Yawning, I got up. I didn't know whether I slept or whether I was about to sleep.
"I was about coming down to see you. How's temporary campus?"
"Fine. Gossipy as usual. Have you heard from Adams recently. He wrote my brother Segun... you still remember him. He told Segun something about wanting to marry you. Segun was nuts. He disapproved. I guessed he wants you for himself."
"I don't approve either. Imagine me marrying a sex machine. That's what Adams is. Look at him from any angle. He's never tired. He sent me his latest snapshot. Ever handsome. I can't stand the competition. Women wanting him will send me to an early grave. I don't want that. But I shall remain his friend always if it suits him. He said he's not going to marry any other person but me. Perhaps he will persuade me. But no way. But that does not qualify your brother Segun. We're not compartible." I laughed, throatily. "Adams is crazy. He wants to live, live and keep living."
"Have you heard of Fatima," Titi began. "She didn't come back after the Easter break. It was not forgery or expulsion. I heard she's in New York now. Her mother works in the Embassy. National Embassy. And so, she packed everything, left school and went with her."
"She's crazy... that girl. She is a perfect pair with Rosina. And now the two of them... no... the three of them, including Adams are staying up there. Crazy group."
At Nneka's persuasion, we paid a visit to Brenda and met Julie and Teena. They were talking when we walked in. "So that girl really wears artificial buttocks. How can I believe it. It's unbelievable. Wearing artificial ass. It's crazy."
"It's true," Brenda was saying. "I told you she is my friend. I've felt it myself. The buttocks. It's not natural. It doesn't feel like a human skin."
We walked in without knocking, startling them. Gossipy girls.
"Bren... Julie... Teena. What's making you look at us like that?"
"You didn't knock," Teena chided.
"Oh that! But we heard you talking about the girl that wears artificial buttocks. A mean thing to be indulged in by such a pretty girl. The X-ray taught her a lesson once. Now she's reduced the big lump. She wears a moderate one nowadays."
"Have you ever observed her in her natural buttocks?"
"Yeah! A rather flat arse. You know she takes her bath when every other person is sleeping. I walked in on her.
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