Published by the government of Zimbabwe
Dambudzo Mapuranga
14 December 2008
opinion
Harare — THE thing about stupidity is that it is not discriminating.
It comes in all sizes, colours and shapes. In Shona there is a very interesting saying that puts into perspective several developments that have occurred this past week.
They say in Shona: "Mukasekerera benzi parufu rinotiza nechitunha."
Loosely translated, this means that entertaining a fool can have dire consequences, and in this case he will steal the corpse at a funeral.
Dire consequences are what Zimbabweans will get if certain fools keep on being entertained.
"Foreign troops should be prepared to intervene in Zimbabwe. If no troops are available, then the AU must allow the UN to send its forces into Harare with immediate effect to take over control of the country and ensure humanitarian assistance to the people dying of cholera."
This was Raila Odinga on December 7, 2008.
Odinga has all but removed the corpse from the coffin and he needs a huge dose of reality because he has lost the plot.
In fact, his actions highlight the problem with regime change puppets. A puppet has no original thought and will regurgitate whatever is fed to him.
I am sure there are people in Kenya who were pinching themselves in shock that they actually voted for this silly man.
Odinga seems to have an unhealthy attachment to violence.
His ascent to power came through a bloodbath that saw some 2 000 Kenyans butchered in cold blood as followers ravaged the country at his behest.
What is surreal is that suddenly, to the international media, he has become the voice of reason on the African continent.
How does Odinga, a man who has no say in Kenya's foreign policy formulation, get to make such statements and receive widespread coverage when it's apparent he speaks as leader of the Orange Democratic Movement?
This explains why Kenya's Foreign Minister Moses Wetangula came out guns blazing the day after Odinga opened his mouth and inserted his foot into it and yet only regional media were present to listen to his sharp rebuke of Odinga.
It became clear from Wetangula's statement that Odinga had misrepresented facts when claiming that Kenya wanted Zimbabwe to be invaded.
Instead, Odinga should have said: "The British, whom I owe this position of Prime Minister, want me to tell the world that I think Zimbabwe should be invaded and President Mugabe removed undemocratically, and I speak not as prime minister but leader of the ODM."
Not surprisingly, Wetangula's statement did not make it on BBC or CNN because that would have left egg streaming down the American and British governments' faces as the two have been claiming that African governments wanted military intervention in Zimbabwe. Three blind mice, see how they run!
Archbishops Ncube, Tutu and Sentamu have a lot in common. For one thing, in their respective churches they have been the first blacks to hold positions of power.
The first black Catholic Archbishop of Bulawayo, the first black Archbishop in the Church of England and the first black Anglican Archbishop of Cape Town sure have come a long way.
Unfortunately, these men have developed some complex that has seen them turn their back on their roots.
It seems that the not so pious ex-Archbishop Pius Ncube has emerged from the woodwork to the chagrin of the Vatican, which was quick to silence him.
How does one address an ex-archbishop?
Father Ncube, Mr Ncube, or Mr ex-Archbishop? Well, whatever he is calling himself these days, there is one thing that remains constant in relation to Zimbabwe when it comes to Ncube: his loathing of himself.
Asked in an interview with the London Times how he felt about the gag order the Vatican had placed on him, Ncube said: "I am very upset about it. I believe in speaking out for the people at a time of distress."
I will go with the Vatican on this one: it would be suicidal for the Holy Church to allow this disgraced pretender to be allowed to take any public moral stands.
This is a man who once told the entire world that he prayed for God to kill President Mugabe.
Who knows what will roll out of his mouth if he is given his one second of fame by the media?
The former archbishop's sex-capades at church residences with women of various marital statuses is hardly the stuff that makes one a moral authority.
Hot on impious ex-Archbishop Ncube's heels are Archbishops John Sentamu and Desmond Tutu who have joined Odinga and the West in calling for an invasion of Zimbabwe.
What is it with these so-called men of the cloth and violence?
Was Tutu pretending to be a rational man when he chaired the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission?
Did he present a façade that called for tolerance and respect for nature's laws in order to influence the passion of the black South African who at that time was demanding justice for years of abuse at the hands of whites under apartheid?
If this is the case, then there is one question that must be answered.
Who is the real Tutu?
The man who talked of peace, tolerance and reconciliation has morphed into terminator. Was it all a façade? Did he preach reconciliation to his South African brothers and sisters in order to save the hides of white apartheid regime functionaries?
How does Tutu sleep at night?
He has no qualms calling for military intervention in Zimbabwe yet he is a Noble Peace prize winner. Tutu has failed to bring meaningful change to the Israeli-Palestinian question where he claims to be a mediator and yet he wants to remove an imagined speck in President Mugabe's eye.
The log is in your eye, Tutu.
As for Sentamu, maybe someone will be kind enough to pour bleach on him and then maybe he can be truly British enough.
The problem with Uncle Toms is that they are like addicts; they have no idea that they have problems.
They suffer from a variation of the Stockholm Syndrome where they think they are on the same boat with their captors and yet they are just being used. The three archbishops have one master and he is the one that has given them the opportunity to be "powerful" religious leaders.
Why would three seemingly educated religious men continue to support a system that champions the abuse of people of colour for the benefit of a few white men?
A week before his enthronement, Sentamu spoke against multiculturalism saying that English people should reclaim their national identity.
He said that multiculturalism made it impossible for English people to showcase their rich history and its glories.
He also said that the British Empire and the English teachers and missionaries who worked in Africa made it possible for him to be where he is today.
Stockholm Syndrome indeed!
The brother needs to break the chains shackling him. The British Empire was evil and non-white people were treated like animals.
The legacy of the British Empire is not anything to write home about or wish for.
Zimbabweans are suffering today because they righted a British colonial wrong and are being punished by the West through, among other things, illegal sanctions.
Is this what Sentamu says the British should celebrate -- the violation of black people's rights?
And then comes Botswana
Botswana's Foreign Affairs Minister, one Phandu Skelemani, was paraded in front of audiences across the globe by CNN and his vapid statements ended up being thrown back at him.
I saw something interesting on the CNN website a few days after his November 26, 2008 Hard Talk interview. It seems people who watched the interview did not buy into the whole "Botswana cares about the people of Zimbabwe and want to help them" nonsense Skelemani was selling.
One viewer pointed out that the Botswana government has no respect for human rights and was, in fact, violating the rights of the Basarwa (San) people whose land they stole and gave to a diamond mining company without due process.
Another viewer pointed out that Skelemani was not fit to be a minister because no leader would call for other countries to close their borders to Zimbabwe thereby ensuring that the people of Zimbabwe would have no access to goods that include medicines and food.
The Botswana government's logic is just like that of the West that thinks that by saying sanctions are targeted on specific individuals in Zimbabwe, they can force Zimbabweans to forcibly remove the Government.
The term for this would, of course, be "regime change".
Still on Bostwana, it seems the opposition in that country is not happy with the way the unelected bachelor president Ian Khama is running things.
The Botswana Congress Party has stated that Khama is undermining Parliament and Cabinet by running the country through presidential directives.
Now is that democracy?
The BCP says Botswana is slowly turning into a military state were views critical of the president are considered sacrilegious.
The poor Batswana are in for it; with half of the top posts in government being occupied by former military men, it is only a matter of time before the government introduces drills that include early morning jogs, lights out, and lashings.
Remember the attempt to ban drinking alcohol on Sundays? And then we see that fellow called Morgan Richard Tsvangirai spending a lot of time in that "democracy" called Botswana.
What can he possibly discuss with such a junta?
Maybe he and Khama will be placing bets to see who between Tendai Biti and Skelemani will come up with the most ludicrous statement regarding Zimbabwe?
But, thankfully, voices of reason are plentiful.
The African Union dismissed as illogical the calls for military intervention in Zimbabwe. That means that with the exception of Botswana, Africa does not want military intervention in Zimbabwe.
The current Sadc chairman, Tanzanian President Jakaya Kikwete, issued a statement condemning the calls for military intervention made by Odinga and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown.
"Only dialogue between the Zimbabwean parties, supported by the AU and other regional actors, can restore peace and stability. We have a serious humanitarian situation in Zimbabwe. We have cholera. Do they (those leaders calling for intervention) think that we can eradicate cholera with guns?" he asked. South Africa's Department of Foreign Affairs on December 9, 2008 held a media briefing on Zimbabwe where it stated that its position on Zimbabwe was quite clear.
Foreign Affairs Director General Dr Ntsaluda said: "With respect to Zimbabwe, two things, of course, occupy the minds of South Africa and Sadc -- the first being the conclusion of the political negotiations to usher in the inclusive government; and the second is to deal with the humanitarian situation." So while Tsvangirai's friends and advisors are calling for military intervention, the true friends of Zimbabwe are calling for the formation of the inclusive government
Negotiations will bring a peaceful, viable solution to Zimbabwe, and not violence. Unfortunately, Tsvangirai has chosen to live in Botswana and not be with his own people in Zimbabwe.
How can he know what the people want when he is not there to hear what they say?
Regime change looks good on paper, but in reality it is one hell of a messy job.
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