28 March 2009
opinion
Lagos — I am not sure what I was more scared of as a child; the sound of my mother's car horn at the gate every evening or having someone walk into my class in primary school and say; "Ebuka, the headmistress is calling you." The sound of those two (car horn and headmistress' summons) almost never end in a good way. With the former, there was almost no way we the kids could get the sitting room tidy and all the plates in the kitchen, clean again before she walked up the stairs. That definitely meant trouble since we would most likely not have done our homework to add to all that.
There was also no way the Headmistress would be calling a pupil who was not a school prefect; unless your parents were around or you were in trouble. I just remember that it usually ended up with the pupil stretching out his/her hands with the back (where the knuckles are) facing up. Then she pulls out one of those wooden orange rulers and turns it to the side. She starts to hit the poor child's bones with it and says; "If you move your hands and I miss, I will start counting from the start."
Every Nigerian child (at least up until the '90's) has similar stories to tell. Parents had whips and canes which were pulled out without holding back as soon as the child is seen to have gone wrong. Our neighbour's father even gave the whips names. The cane that was to be used was dependent on the gravity of the offence committed. So once the kids heard; "Go to my room and get me 'E pa' (meaning old man in Edo) you knew that you were doomed.
Boarding house was even worse for a lot of us and at that stage, you were either trying to avoid the school principal or some teacher or house master or senior students or even your mates! It was a very annoying cycle and everyday that passed by without one getting in trouble was cause for celebration. It was that regular and no one had reason to apologise or explain why we got beaten so much as children. In fact, very few people even wanted the apology. We just accepted our fate and moved on.
Today most people have grown beyond that, started their own families and have led very successful lives both financially and in the family. Now, whether the end result is as a result of how much we were spanked and whipped as kids is talk for another day. I just know that things might have been different if you or I were an American or simply from a country in the west.
Hearing the name Jeffrey Dahmer always makes me cringe and want to throw up. I came across the name first on television when I saw a documentary advertised on the Crime and Investigation Network called; 'Born to Kill: Jeffrey Dahmer.' The picture that appeared with the title was that of a very nerdy white middle aged man who could have passed for a pastor or school teacher. I set a reminder and I do not know if any other serial killer in history has left that much of an impression on me ever since.
To cut the long story short, Jeffrey Dahmer was a homosexual deviant who raped, murdered and ate (yes, ate) parts of 17 young men. Between 1978 and 1991, Dahmer killed at least 17 young men who were mostly of African or Asian descent. He would visit gay bars and alleys, find young men who were willing to go home with anyone and offer them a night at his place, which was usually their last on earth. Whenever they got home, it was never enough for them to just have sex so he raped them repeatedly then bludgeoned them to death afterwards. He would then go on to rape the dead battered bleeding bodies again and then let them decompose for some time. He took out a few body parts afterwards and stored them while he left most of the others unburied in his basement. Then he would go on to cook and eat those parts he stored saying that he did so because he loved the victims so much that he never wanted them to leave him so eating them made them a part of him.
He would have been stopped in May 1991 when 2 women passing by a street saw a young man walking the streets naked under the influence of drugs and bleeding from his anus. They called 911 and when the cops arrived Jeffrey told them that the man was his boyfriend and they had just gotten in a fight. The cops agreed and helped him take the boy upstairs. They said later that the apartment smelt funny but they had no idea and did not investigate further. It turned out that the smell was the decomposing body of one Anthony Hughes. Later that night after the cops left, Dahmer murdered the young man and dismembered his body, keeping his skull as a souvenir!
He was eventually arrested when another young naked man was found wandering the streets in handcuffs. He told the cops about Jeffrey and when they went up to his apartment to search, they found pictures of body parts in his bedroom and they knew they had found a very sick and dangerous man.
That must have been a relief at the time for the authorities and for anyone hearing the story. What I found really annoying though was Jeffrey's defence for his sick acts. He claimed that he was molested by a neighbour when he was young; that his parents had a very bitter divorce at a very young age and that the birth of his younger brother when he was eight years old (which naturally diverted his parents' attention from him), all combined to make his childhood miserable and drove him to being suicidal and prone to commit murder. I could not believe my ears. How does any of that amount to misery? And even if it did, since when did committing murder become the cure or outlet for misery? One murder could be excused in a very rare case as a mistaken case of rage but 17 (or even more) perverted cannibalistic situations can never be excused.
Thankfully, the jury knew better than to accept that hogwash of a story which he tried to sell alongside a plea of insanity. He was sentenced to 957 years in prison in February of 1992. But in November 1994, Dahmer was severely beaten to death by another inmate Christopher Scarver with a bar from a weight machine at the prison gym. He could not stand the sort of crimes Dahmer had committed and when he was asked why he killed Dahmer, he said; "God told me to do it." Scarver was already in prison himself for committing murder but by killing Dahmer, he got a few fans who loved him for doing what they felt was right; and somewhat closing Jeffrey Dahmer's chapter.
I am not sure I love him myself for what he did but one person that I love for sure is popular teenage musician, Chris Brown. Anyone who knows me well will tell you without thinking too far that he is my favourite new act in the last couple of years. There is really no reason not to like the dude. He is young, very hardworking, a wonderful dancer, good singer, good dresser and he had arguably the hottest young girl in America; Rihanna, as his girlfriend. I would never forget my birthday in 2008 for a long time to come because thanks to ThisDay, he performed live in Lagos on that day and it was the perfect birthday gift.
He was having a good life, winning award after award and selling records in the millions. Pictures of the 19 year old having nice vacations with his 20 year old sweetheart were splashed regularly in magazines and the internet and most of the world was jealous. They seemed like the perfect couple and of course, no one had any doubts that they were happy.
But events recently have turned everything upside down. I have heard so many versions of the story now that I do not even know which is real. But from all I have heard, I will pick out the most common facts from all. Chris Brown and Rihanna were driving and Chris Brown got a text message from another girl. Rihanna got angry and started screaming. She either hit him or threw the car keys out of the window (depending on who is telling the story) and then went on to call her friend or personal assistant to call the cops on him. He then got angry and went on to hit her, bruising her forehead, lips and landing many blows on her stomach. A police case was opened that day and Chris Brown was eventually brought in for questioning. Statements were taken and now he is about to go on trial and faces up to 5 years in prison for assault and battery.
All of the above are simply allegations and I am one of those who (probably because of how much I like the young man), have refused to point fingers yet. There is a case in court and I believe that we need to wait until he is found guilty or not. I do not know how he would be getting himself out of this case though seeing how much evidence the state has but that is why there is something called a trial.
But while we all wait, what I find really annoying is the number of people who try to defend him by saying that he watched his step-father hit his mother a lot of times and so can be excused since he had such a troubled childhood. Total crap! Nigeria probably has one of the highest incidences of abuse on women and it is not something we should be proud of. But I do not see how an act committed by any of those men should be blamed on a father or uncle who lived his own life and is also hopefully taking responsibility for his actions. If Chris Brown hit Rihanna, then he did because he wanted to. He may have been pushed to do it or totally annoyed by her but it still does not mean that his step-father should be blamed. Living in a country where he knew the consequences of his action and being an adult, he should have known better especially since he is a public figure.
I have not heard Chris Brown himself come up with this excuse yet and I really hope he does not as that would be very poor of him. I only hope that he can simply prove that he did not do anything at all or nicely take responsibility for his actions.
With stories like these, I become very happy for the sort of family and country I grew up in. With all our many defects and sour points in Nigeria, our moral values to some extent are still intact. We sadly do have murderers here too but thankfully you hardly find people who kill just for the fun of it. People here also do not blame anything on their childhood which in most cases is equally as traumatizing as or even more so than you find with criminals abroad.
But one important note in all of this is the need for human beings to start to take responsibility for their actions. Governments in Nigeria are known for always passing the buck. Federal government blames state government, contractor blames ministry and the country continues to suffer. But we always forget that while there may be no readily available court to try us like Jeffrey Dahmer was or Chris Brown is about to, no amount of transfer of responsibility can make anyone look clean. The truth can only be suppressed for so long.
All in all though, I thank God I am a Nigerian. But hey, stop hitting your kids It is wrong and very traumatizing and I am sure you do not want them blaming you for their crimes later in life!
ANSWERS ANYONE?
When will President Yar'Adua grant his first television interview in Nigeria?
Be the first to Write a Comment!
Copyright © 2009 This Day. All rights reserved. Distributed by AllAfrica Global Media (allAfrica.com). To contact the copyright holder directly for corrections — or for permission to republish or make other authorized use of this material, click here.
AllAfrica aggregates and indexes content from over 125 African news organizations, plus more than 200 other sources, who are responsible for their own reporting and views. Articles and commentaries that identify allAfrica.com as the publisher are produced or commissioned by AllAfrica.
