Martin Nkematabong
2 April 2009
Rufus had consumed excess of palm wine and 'kitoko' hours before his church wedding. Last weekend, petals of flowers and balloons of assorted colours glittered and dangled at the courtyard and corridors of one of the municipal councils in Bamenda, announcing the eminence of a great wedding. Thereabout, groups of expert traditional dancers spoiled their faces ululations, charged from angle to angle and split the air with the peaks of their local swords.
The jollity attained its climax when a galaxy of motorcycles alarmed from the left flank of the council hall, ushering in a Toyota Carina carrying Rufus and Rebecca. The wedding car gradually propelled towards the council hall. Rufus, who was clad in a grey 'super 200' and kiwi-dark 'pointininy' majestically stepped out and walked into the main hall. Rebecca, also veiled from head to toe, haughtily followed.
Then, the mayor's adult Land Cruiser appeared, cruising over lumps of brown earth that carpet the narrow path leading to his parking lot. The imperturbable frenzied dancers and wanton riders relaxed, and streamed into the hall. Then, the wedding ceremony began. Rufus and Rebecca heartily repeated the marriage oath after the administrator, exchanged silver rings and boisterously walked into the courtyard for memorial photo shots.
The second phase of the marriage was scheduled, just a few hours after, at a parish chapel located some kilometers away from the council hall. The wedding car wheeled towards the church direction, leaving behind active participants who still scuttled over the homemade drinks. The parish choir had just begun animation. A church warden conducted Rufus and Rebecca to the front seat, while the parish priest and mass servants filed in.
The priest beckoned, then the catechist ushered the couple towards the altar. But Rufus had visibly lost stamina. He sleepily staggered towards the tabernacle, wearing a seismic smile. The catechist strove to guide him away from the most holy arena, but Rufus shunned him.
The bridegroom dropped a lump of hot spittle at the crest of the holy ground, fumbled back to his seat and struggle to make a statement, but words stocked in his throat. He farted, yawned uncontrollably, and then lay on the bench.
The exasperated priest concerted with the catechist and retired with his mass servants. Meanwhile, friends and relatives rescued a frozen Rebecca from the foot of the altar. Rufus had consumed excess of palm wine, 'kitoko', corn beer and 'fichock' at the cultural hall. And at press time, a chunk of tipsy riders heralded Rufus home without Rebecca.
Read comments. Write your own.
Copyright © 2009 Cameroon Tribune. All rights reserved. Distributed by AllAfrica Global Media (allAfrica.com). To contact the copyright holder directly for corrections — or for permission to republish or make other authorized use of this material, click here.
AllAfrica aggregates and indexes content from over 125 African news organizations, plus more than 200 other sources, who are responsible for their own reporting and views. Articles and commentaries that identify allAfrica.com as the publisher are produced or commissioned by AllAfrica.
" .. addressing the problem of alcoholism in Cameroon is long over due. There are many alcoholics, but sadly little or nothing is being done to solve their problem. .."
Give the native a break.
There is a "problem of alcoholism" in USA. And in UK and ...
There is a "problem of alcoholism" among the foreign god's people in that terror manifesto named 'bible'. Do you remember the story of that guy of god's chosen people a long long time ago who did (or was made to) imbibe too much palm wine and kitoko and… [Read Full Text]
We are supposed to go "o, my isn't that terrible!" as if the priests don't have wine in church. [Well, the morbid creeps refer to it as the blood of someone and they want people to drink it ! These blood-lusting murderous foreigners sure have strange religions - fit for cursed people!]
THE POPE MUST NOT HEAR THIS AS HE WOULD DISCILPLINE THE PRIEST THAT REFUSE TO WED THE DRUNKARD BECAUSE HIS BOSS PRESIDENT PAUL BIYA IS THE SOLE SHARE HOLDER OF BRASSERIES DU CAMEROON,AND HE JUST CAME TO PRAY FOR HIM TO KEEP ON KILLING FATHERS & R.SISTERS
THE POPE MUST NOT HEAR THIS AS HE WOULD DISCILPLINE THE PRIEST THAT REFUSE TO WED THE DRUNKARD BECAUSE HIS BOSS PRESIDENT PAUL BIYA IS THE SOLE SHARE HOLDER OF BRASSERIES DU CAMEROON,AND HE JUST CAME TO PRAY FOR HIM TO KEEP ON KILLING FATHERS & R.SISTERS
What an unfortunate situation. Like many other problems that have been left unattended or explained away by "witchcraft" or other means, addressing the problem of alcoholism in Cameroon is long over due. There are many alcoholics, but sadly little or nothing is being done to solve their problem. Many wives are battered by drunken husbands, many lives are lost by drivers driving under the influence. Many children are under fed because Papa spent most of his salary in the bar at the end of the month. Do not be quick to explain this away and say other countries drink. The… [Read Full Text]