Kenyan authorities are calling for the arrest of a group of Ugandans they describe as "mad Bahima" for allegedly trying to graze their cows on Kenyan grass.

In a strong statement issued in Nairobi this week, top Kenyan officials said that "crazy" Bahima from Uganda had invaded a certain Migingo Island in Lake Victoria in order to graze their cows there.

"First, these Bahima invaded the Turkana region wearing red, checkered wrappers pretending to be our brothers the Karimojong. But when we looked under the wrappers, we immediately concluded that no way could they be Karimojong," the Kenyan PM, Orgy-Nga Ordy-Nga, told The Analyst.

"When we chased them from the Turkana region, they showed up on Migingo Island pretending to be fishermen. But instead of fishing nets, they were carrying enkoni (grazing sticks). Since when did Bahima start eating fish anyway?" he wondered.

Mr. Orgy-Nga said that his government has petitioned the African Union to rein in the Bahima's ring leader, a one YKM (Yahweh Kasanvu Mbaguta) who, according to the Kenyan PM, is "the maddest of them all".

"Unfortunately, we can't appeal to the Ugandan government to confine YKM to an asylum because we understand he is a big fish there, if you will excuse the pun.

Moreover, we hear that the Ugandan government has slowly been selling off its only asylum to investors. That is why we have taken the matter to the African Union."

Mr. Orgy-Nga was quick to clarify that by "mad Bahima", he did not mean all Bahima, but only those encroaching on Kenyan grass.

"I don't think it is an abuse to call someone a Muhima. Would I be offended if you called me a Jaluo? As for the mad ones, it is only those trying to graze on our lands, and of course, their leaders," he said.

Efforts to get a response from the Ugandan government were futile. A presidential assistant said that his boss, the president, "does not speak to the BBC", never mind the fact that The Analyst is not associated with the BBC in any way.