Kampala — CHE Guevara became a national hero to the Cubans as did Ho Chi Min to the Vietnamese. The French had Napoleon Bonaparte, the English Lord Nelson and the Chinese Chairman Mao. These we men in uniform and the citizens of those countries as well as others admired them for one reason or another.

In Uganda, when it comes to our men in uniform, no one really springs to mind. They don't because we really have a bad perception of anybody who is in the military or who wears a uniform. That perception stretches further to those plain-clothed men (and women) who are supposedly security officials.

I have had my fair share of issues with the Presidential Guard Brigade (PGB) ranging from being harassed, being barred entry to presidential functions to being threatened with grievous bodily harm. However, since the end of CHOGM nearly two years ago, I have had no beef with the PGB until last weekend when I was out with friends and the PGB's ugly head once again reared itself.

In his civvies, PGB Officer sought to join our table, because he was vaguely known by one of my friends. But Friend didn't want him on the table and kept ignoring him. Resilient as he was, PGB Official firmly turned his attention to me. And it was not a polite conversation. He sought to assure me that, as a PGB officer based in Entebbe, it was his duty to know who I was, what my movements were, who I hang out with and where. "Bukumunhe, I know everything about you," he said.

As if to assure me and the rest of the table of his elevated status within the ranks of the PGB, he went on to tell us that he was the 'point man' in President Museveni's security detail.

"I am one of the people who decide Mzee's movements. I am often deployed ahead to look for troublemakers like you," he told us. At that point we had enough of him - I actually switched seats with Kayos and left him (PGB Official) to battle it out with Doctor and Kayos.

At one point threatening and ugly words were exchanged. Finally PGB Official realised that unless he drove himself back to his base in Entebbe and returned with his AK-47, his PGB authority had little meaning in the bar we were in and so he carted himself away.

On another note, there has been a major facelift in the police force, especially the traffic department. Gone are those fat and arrogant mamas. They have been replaced with youthful, tall, beautiful and elegant ladies who also look good in police uniform! The hottest of these policewomen, for those who want to know, are at Wandegeya traffic lights and Jinja Road. Trust me, they are hot! But if you want to see them by the eyeful, simply go to Naguru barracks.

Hot Traffic Police babes make sitting in traffic worthwhile, but on my last encounter with the Police, my arrest was not done by Hot Traffic Police Babe but by Fat Arrogant Policewoman who desperately wanted to haul me to Buganda Road court for calling her - guess - Fat Arrogant Policewoman!

My crime according to Fat Arrogant Policewoman was in creating "an illegal line" at Wandegeya traffic lights. Of course I refuted the allegation. When I was taken to the second floor of Wandegeya Police Station and into the Traffic Op's room, who did I find there but a bevy of hot traffic police babes? Of course I was not just about to pay my fine and walk off without more than a chat to them.

For all her worth, Fat Arrogant Policewoman though is now an endangered species. All she is good for is in connecting you to the youthful, tall, beautiful and elegant ladies who look good in police uniform!