Daily Independent (Lagos)
Michael John
29 June 2009
column
The King of Pop, Michael Jackson, died last Thursday. He was a nice guy with a broad nose - at least that is how God created him. At age five he was playing in the family group the Jackson 5, and we loved him, his nose, his dance steps and his looks. He was the seventh in a family of nine. He was as handsome and as good looking as anyone could be.
Michael had a great vocal ability and an electrifying stage presence. What no one told us back then was that Michael did not exactly like his nose and father did not help matters by calling him, "Big Nose." His nose was not as large as Uncle Sege's, but by Jove! Uncle Sege has always been as cool about his nose as ice. And come to think of it Uncle Sege is a handsome man - not because he meets the aesthetics standard but because he believes he is.
At age eleven, Michael struck stardom and became a celebrity - big nose and all. We followed his meteoric rise with rapt interest until he clocked 21. And then one day, when he was 26, the King of Pop popped out with a Caucasian nose and looks. Nobody "nose" why he had to ditch the nose which brought him stardom, after all conventional wisdom has it that you do not change a winning formula. Anyhow, we decided to let him follow his nose - though it must be stated that this action got on our noses.
If his nose was really a problem, he could have de-emphasized it with big, Abacha-style goggles and wide-brimmed hats. The other way to go about it would have been to develop round chubby cheeks, which would have compensated for the big nose. At best he could have kept his nose clean, and he would have avoided the "nose collapse" controversy in his latter life, which put the whole world (the press in particular) on his fragile nose.
We had thought that the size of a man's nose was not important and that what was important was what was behind the nose. Michael Jackson thought differently and decided that a man is as sharp as his nose is pointed. Or to put it slightly better, that it is better to be a white musician than a black one.
What his experiment has proved is that it is easier for a man to have a sex change than for a black man to become a white man. As you know, black men and women do not blush. We tell all the lies in the world with a straight face, straight gaze and without blood rushing to our faces or our skins changing colour. We do not have too many white dictators because you can always see through a white man. The late Abacha on the other hand could order the execution of ten patriots and thereafter appear on television to commiserate with their families without the semblance of a blush. See how "blessed" we are?
The short and long of it is that a black man's skin is a disguise; whereas a white man's skin is a transparent positive film which can always show his inner turmoil. Dear Michael decided that he did not want the disguise and would rather lift the veil of disguise and let the world see the pale skin which lay behind the veil.
I believe there is some truth in the belief that God created the white folk first. He probably did that and after decided to tint mankind a bit more, and so we (blacks) came - not as black as charcoal but not as white as paper either. Like a popular preacher said, "God left us in the oven longer than the white race." And you know cakes left in the oven longer taste a lot better than those taken off earlier.
But right under our noses Michael decided to turn up his nose at remaining black. His album titled "Thriller" was an electrifying piece of music which became the de rigueur of pop culture in his time. It became the biggest selling album of all times and cornered a deserved space in the Guinness Book of World Records for this feat. His legs were a blur with his captivating dance steps. That perhaps was the first mistake because those with fragile noses should not undertake "rough plays" - like energetic dancing.
At that point he should have been advised to start singing country music and blues - Don Williams' style - and protect his million-dollar nose.
Perhaps his nose contributed to the fact that he was the firstAfrican-American entertainer to amass a strong crossover following on MTV. But a nosy press became inordinately concerned about Michael's nose (or its imminent collapse). As one controversy after the other dogged the greatest musician who ever lived, he became a social recluse and took himself off the limelight.
While the press waited with the patience of a vulture for his nose to collapse, the World Trade Centre, which no one expected to collapse, came tumbling down (courtesy of the evil man known as Osama bin Laden). This tragedy distracted the attention of the press for a little while, before it turned its attention again to the structural defect in Michael's nose and waited for it to collapse.
While they waited, Michael spurned albums like "Dangerous," "Bad," and others. His skin began to lose color and he became whiter than Ronald Reagan. And as you know too much of anything (including "whiteness") is not good.
The morale of the story is that he could still have kept the nose he was born with and which we loved. Whatever did his nose have to do with his success? If anything it caused him more problems than it provided solutions. I think a man should be contented with his nose - little be it or much, and contentment still he should crave if his ears are larger than his palms.
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And apparently the author of this article doesn't understand that Michael had a kind of skin cancer that made his skin mottled--with white patches, and that his skin bleaching was to hide this condition, not his race, which he had on several occasions proudly declared himself to be. Also his nose and plastic surgery was discovered by accident after he broke it and needed surgery...or at least that's what I understand, and the first surgery wasn't left him with breathing problems so he had a second surgery done and that is when he, while he was at it, asked the surgeon to make his nose smaller. I think Michael Jackson continued to have nose jobs not because he wanted to be white, but because he had a low self esteem, thanks to his father. And yes I think his story is all in all, very sad. As for God creating white people first--interesting, considering the origins of the entire race is widely believed to be in Africa. I suspect the first humans were actually black, not white. But whatever. I'm not a believer in god at all, so the notion that such a being created whites first and then realized his mistakes and then came up with an improved model is rather laughable.
Is "Dr." Abati a medical doctor? The last time I read his bio, he is a journalist. Only in Nigeria is every dick and harry referred to as a Dr., an Egnr., a Barrister, SAN, Chief, Asiwaju, Turaki, Alhaji…even a mere Mr. will still have an Esqr, at the end of his name. Like Michael Jackson's Kaddafi’s epaulets and glitter, an honorary degree in Nigeria has becomes an official appellation appended to the honoree to be worn as a pendant - a la (Dr.) Turai YarAdua. I guess every Nigerian Jim and Jill's egos need to be massaged to feel a sense of importance - I think there is a name for that complex. What's the word...?
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