Frances Shaahama
3 July 2009
opinion
Windhoek — I have learnt quite a lot about myself just from being with children.
Like how much patience I need for instance. That might be part of the reason why children don't really like me that much. The little beings are so unpredictable because you never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next.
Ever had guests over for dinner? Those are the perfect moments when children decide to say and do things that their parents never even knew that their children were aware of. The dinner usually ends with the parents profusely apologising with a "We are so sorry for Martha's behaviour earlier this evening. We can assure you that this is 'not' the way she usually behaves."
But all parents should be aware of the fact that the characteristic of the normal child is that he or she does not act that way very often.
Having been surrounded by little family members almost all my life, I am sorry to say that I have had my fair share of embarrassments. I have learnt the art of precision from my little cousin. He never misquoted me. In fact, he would usually repeat word for word to my elders what I should not have said.
He just has this tendency to remember the things that he ought to forget and the ones that he is supposed to remember, like how to fasten his shoelaces, he tends to forget. I have concluded that when it comes to really important-non-embarrassing matters, the average child has the memory span of a fish.
A house without a child is quiet, dark, lonely and clean. But a home with a child is noisy, bright, joyous and not so clean. The care freeness and innocence of a laughing child would want you to start life over. Excluding the technicalities of not wetting the bed and learning to ride a bike without a single scratch that is.
Fran Lebowitz once said that even when freshly-washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. This is rather a sticky subject that I would not want to dwell on in fear of traumatising my brother who had to attend the same school as I. After all, the poor man is just about to recover.
My colleague's little daughter popped by the office one day and for some reason we both ended up in the ladies. With her little legs swinging off the toilet pot, I asked her if she's doing the number one or the number two. I had hardly finished my question when she looks at me all bright eyed and shouts, "The number three." It was a bit confusing because I couldn't possibly imagine what a number three would look like. I think she sensed the confusion on my face until she answered rather patronisingly, "I am doing the number one and the number two. One plus two is three. Duh."
Apparently like fruit, children are the sweetest just before they turn bad. I agree. There is this age where they turn impish. They have all the clever answers and are so manipulative; one does not even stand a chance. But despite everything, they still manage to make you laugh. I especially love it when they say the most 'I cannot believe you just said that' things. It always makes me wonder how their minds are programmed for them to come up with phrases without even thinking about it. I am still convinced that something or someone whispers in their ears.
There comes a stage in a child's life that everything the teacher says is right and whatever the mother says is not worth listening to. My mother used to get so crazy that she would say, "If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with nothing but mothers". Ironic is it not?
I think that anybody who has had a child would know that it is worth the trouble, dirt, noise and embarrassment. Parents should also know that children need love. Especially when they do not deserve it because what you do to your child, your child will do to society.
They say youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
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