Kwaku Adu-Gyamfi
6 July 2009
(Page 2 of 2)
parental roles
Oftentimes, that diminishes our parental roles and ability to function in the best interest of our kids. Mindful, of the fact that the Ghanaian immigrants' kids in our host countries were brought there for a purpose---a purpose which can not be compromised or negotiated. Because so much is at stake to let today's short-term gratifications to over- cloud tomorrow's big goals. For every successful kid, there are powerful parents who not only believe in their kids' potentials, but, they realize what failure will cost them.
The big questions are: How do we as parents maintain our parental equilibriums ,cultivate our kids' talents and future, guide them and stay within the social boundaries set forth by the society and the so-called social 'experts'---who only see things in their narrow prisms, with very limited knowledge of our history, tribulations and circumstances?
Every child needs a backbone to help him/her make it through the atrocious and hostile streets of our host countries. Those of us in the States, we have to guide our kids against the temptation of indulging in whimsies---- staying out late, attending wild and crazy parties, experimentation of drugs and hard liquor-not to mention the possession of deadly weapons. America's culture clash and relative freedom sometimes give our kids a false hope by the assumption that all the things they watch on televisions are 'real', therefore they can paddle their fantasies all the way to the bank. Their super materialistic consumption appetite also makes them question everything and anything their parents do, irrespective of the intent and ramifications.
Thanks to the social network and text message systems, parental roles have been replaced and diminished. Kids these days depend religiously on their virtual friends they meet on the net than their own parents because these" friends" always tow their line of thinking.
Yes, it's easier to side with their friends than to question them. It's easier to listen to their friends, the political pundits and television news anchors than to study, read and search to discover the truth about an issue or to actually read about a subject the friends they meet on line tell them. It's easier to blame someone or your parents than take responsibility. Whilst we might stumble once in a while in the course of trying to do the right thing for our kids we should not forget the fact that we migrated with a purpose and goal. Like every immigrant before us, Ghanaian immigrants traveled abroad with a well-defined goal. After all, no one travels abroad from Ghana unless one wants to work hard to achieve his/her goals... And, that work ethic coupled with, the fear of failure also play a role in our decision-making process .So sometimes our kids see us as being control freaks the fear of failure is the driving force behind our protective nature which our kids sometimes despise.
To me, the fear of failure scares the hell out of me, which also gives me the strength to fight against the temptation to look for short -term gratifications, instead of a long-term investment which can yield value.
The love Mr. Jackson (has) had for his kids was/is very organic. It might not be the best, but it carried them to places of which they never dreamed .It also gave them other enviable worldly possessions, fame and unyielding celebrity stature .If all that is not a monumental achievement with biblical proportion, then nothing is. immigrants' kids
Most Ghanaian immigrants' kids particularly those who were brought from home are caught up in the concept of "we- all- born- equal, therefore what ever the majority of people are doing must be right otherwise they won't be doing it. And, anyone, including the parents has no business telling them what to do. As a result, some of us (parents) stop enforcing accountability for ourselves and our children. We are afraid to offend them because it's easier not to do anything than do something. We are afraid to talk to our own kids, spend time with them, and teach them valuable life lessons, because the system has put too many limitations on our role. But, the last time I checked parental role is 24/7 job.
Over the course of the next several weeks and months we're going to witness and learn a great lesson .If that period is going to teach us anything, it this: The consequences of disowning your parents or how surrounding yourself with strangers can cost you your life , money, house and self-esteem.
Michael's trials, triumphs and turbulent history started when he drifted away from his root and parents. While he was getting all the attention and fame, his father was getting hammered by the media. It got people gabbing with the operative word is" abusive"; to demonize him. Remember, we are talking about a person who once upon a time owned a mansion filled with a zoo, amusement rides and other life amenities reserved for the Saudi -Arabia monarchy, but, he died in a rented house. What a sad way to close curtains of a life started with hope, dreams and possibilities!
At this point, whether Michael's father was responsible for his son's downfall, physical transformation, transgression and trepidation or not is irrelevant -because this may not, ease the pain. But, given the way things turned out; from the heart-stopping thriller music to robotic dance moves, let's "B-e-a-t It, "because it's all 'HiStory', no matter who was right or wrong.
I'm just off the wall because I'm tripping' with emotion!
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