Abuja — Nature is often simpler to understand than society. The psyche of the human animal is very complex. Which probably explains why we do things that even animals would frown at. Or how we explain the way we systematically steal from our kids, and their hapless parents? I am referring to that cash cow called exam.

The latest National Examination Council (NECO) Advert is asking candidates intending to sit for the November/December 2009 Senior School Certificate Examination to pay the princely sum of N4, 850 for registration. This may look reasonable to the well-off; even if it is more than half the national Minimum Wage. Exams are expensive to organise, conduct and mark. The advert was shamelessly clear, however, about where the money is going to. About 30%, or N1, 350 is for "Syllabus, Examination Ethnics (sic) CD and Administrative Charges". The balance of N3, 500 is for "on-line registration scratch card". Yes, you read it right - SCRATCH CARD!!

As if that is not enough, the advert warns that the fee "does not include the commission of N200 (Two Hundred Naira only) chargeable by selling Banks (sic) and other accredited agencies".

I tried multiplying these by the numbers expected to sit for NECO exams each year, to get the true picture. It is not easy to get actual figures from the Web. However, we know WAEC test over 1.5 million kids a year, and NECO is required for all our secondary school leavers, so we use that as a guide.

If we take 1.5 million as the minimum, our kids must give NECO about N5.25 billion for scratch cards. That is what we are talking about. Who actually gets this money? What is it used for? How much is shared between whom? Scratch cards for what? How much of that amount is going for simply checking results and routine exam info?

Recently, the NECO Registrar was defending his staff and organisation against fraud charges and mal-administration. This was his defence, as reported in the media: "there was an understanding that since education was a dividend of democracy, therefore, a social cost of N1000 should be charged for the SSC examination which WAEC was charging N3, 500 per candidate, and the difference between the actual cost of examination per candidate and the approved social rate of N1000 would be given yearly to NECO as examination subsidy, but it was never implemented". So, because the Government is not giving them what they require to conduct exams they must tax our kids? Fine, I might actually understand some contribution to the "Administrative Charges" but could they not simply post the "Syllabus and Exam Ethics CD" on their website? (And talking about CDs; if you are producing more than 5000 CDs in Lagos, it costs you about N20 each)

Incidentally, it is not only NECO taxes that our kids have to pay. They must sit for WAEC and JAMB exams as well, paying for registration and scratch cards so as to know where they are sitting for the exams, pay for additional scratch cards to check for their results. Then the tertiary institutions start their own extortion; some quasi-legal contraption created by Oby Ezekwsili called Post-UME Screening, which could cost as low as N1,000 for Bukar Abba Ibrahim University and as high as N5,200 for Salem University, Lokoja.

After paying for transport, feeding, accommodation for all these hustles, paying for extra-lessons, bribes to gain admission etc, yet some government official still needs to into go into some Public-Private-pocket Partnership with some banks and other providers, to make more money. If it is true that the Government is not funding them well, and the banks had to come to their aid, do these kind of fees reflect the actual cost of implementing an e-registration system, even if they were starting from scratch? Do these banks have any corporate conscience at all?

It is not just the exam bodies. My friend was looking for a short-cut for his kid. He took him to UNILAG for Foundation Programme and paid N16, 000 for application forms. Lucky enough to be admitted, he is now paying N300, 000 per annum for a non degree course. The second kid is paying N2, 000 for Post-UME; half for the test, and the balance of N1, 000 for checking the result.

Just giving people a number, putting the result on a database and making the server accessible to the candidates, and we are charging them that much? The bandwidth, computers and servers, the network infrastructure, the IT-staff in all these exam bodies are all paid for by government. Why can't they provide PIN numbers for these kids, free of charge or at reasonable rates, so that the kids can register and check their results free of charge? They need to supplement budgetary allocations? Please let them source it elsewhere, but not from our kids.

In addition, the total amount of money lost by parents and governments to results cancellation by examination bodies in Nigeria on account of malpractice is said to amount to over N107 billion Naira for the last five years, according to the 2007 Annual Exam Ethics Report. Not to mention money spent on sub-standard exam guides, fake tutors, and numerous unscrupulous practices on the part of the schools and exam officials.

Why can't kids just sit for simple exams and move on with their lives. If we cannot help them more, let us at the very least reduce their burden. Not steal from them. Anything over N250 for scratch card is on the high side.