Jean Sutherland
26 October 2009
EEEEEUW! It was a snot and trane of a weekend in the Big Brother house. I capoeira kid kid you not. It was total madness on Saturday night.
Leo the Nel blew it, skunk trunks Eddie pranked it to the skank, 50 Naira ( Kevin to you!) momentarily grew a few inches taller, Eddie and 50 Naira nearly came to blows, Emma got her disgusting on and Itai ... well Itai, hmmmmmm ... not quite sure ... OK, he had the mother of all controlled fits of fury (yes, yes, I know!).
For once, I seemed to tune in at all the right moments!!
I bet you all thought I'd taken a karate kick to the head when I mentioned Moz dude Leo the Nel in the same breath as Chuck Norris.
You thought only Chuck did extreme. Right? Wrong! Think again. Leo's up there. Especially when his food is under threat.
Some of the housemates were in the kitchen noshing after an evening of discontent over missing personal items, when Quinocchio started whinging that one of his fish fingers (yes, a fish finger) had gone missing.
And when Squint, aka Quinocchio, also known as Quinn, throws a pity party, you rush out to the baby store and stock up on Pampers and pacifiers (dummies). He goes on ... and on ... and on!
Don't know about you, but the more excited he gets, the more his voice seems like it's been marinated in fermented carrot juice. And boy does it grate.
Anyhow, Quinocchio got his peeve on and announced that he was going to start stealing other housemates food.
And peeve begot pique. Forget Hurricane Katrina, the ghost of Chuck Norris passed over the house and Typhoon Leonel blasted in. Moz dude bent over his plate of food, flared his nostrils and blew his nose all over his food. I kid you s'not!
Leo the Nel, aka the capoeira kid, then said something to the effect of "now let's see who eats this"! Hardcore stuff.
Emma's eyes nearly popped out, Jeremy's entourage of muscles twitched, Kevin flinched.
Miss Angola struggled to speak, but managed to squeak out an "it's so disgusting", followed by an almost schoolmarmish "I'm so disappointed".
Squint actually seemed a bit sheepish at the thought that he might have provoked the incident and kept on saying he didn't mean it, didn't mean it, didn't mean it ... yes, yes, we heard you, Squint.
Eish, extreme sport!
Leonel then put the plate of food in the warming draw.
After brushing her teeth later, Emma decided it was safer to take her toothbrush to her room, muttering "who knows what will happen".
SHOES AND THE MAN
What is it with shoes and symbolism.
Earlier, Itai had got all compulsive obsessive about one of his shoes that had gone missing.
Of course Eddie, as the known prankster in the house, was targeted as the sole culprit.
For over an hour Itai hammered at Eddie, following him around the house and pleading with him "to give it up"; the shoe meant a lot to him, it was a present from a family member, etc, etc.
Eddie was ed-amant ... eish, adamant ... that he had not hidden Itai's shoe.
One generally gets the idea that the usually controlled and calculated Zimbabwe peace and governance student would prefer to refer any and every problem to the International Criminal Court. This time though I got the distinct impression that he was craving, just craving, to be an Iraqi shoe thrower!
He started verbally beating up on Eddie - who was jumping up and down on a bed (in the 'palace'), having something of a pillow fight with Kristal.
He told Eddie to grow up and "to act your age". As if that was not enough, he also told him to stop running round the house half naked. Sjoe!.
But Eddie was having none of it, and told Itai to believe what he wanted.
It later turned out that it was 50 Naira (Naija boy), who had hidden one each of Itai's and Leonel's shoes!
SMOKIN' COLD
Which brings us to Kevin! 50 Naira decided it was also time for him to square up to Eddie and get his nairas' worth out of the situation.
He accused the prancing prankster of "stealing" his cigarettes!
Yes, yes, I know Kevin raps like he's smokin' but he does not smoke. However, cigarettes are currency in the house, used for trade-offs, etc. So each housemate gets a quota. That by the way.
For once Naija boy was not that ever-smiling, serial-rapping housemate most viewers have come to know.
There was some real Lagos street in his voice, and steel in his eyes, as he basically threatened Eddie not to mess with him "bra"!
Our home boy just shrugged it off and said he was dayumed if he was going to stop pranking and stealing. So take that!!
The Kevin incident resulted in an amusing interlude yesterday morning.
Emma, Kevin and a couple of others were sitting outside and Emma, referring to the standoff the previous night, told 50 Naira, almost shyly, "you know ... you're sort of short but at that time ... I saw you grow taller"!
So yeah, I have the feeling that Eddie's going to be on a lot of people's nomination list today.
Stay tuned!
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