Jean Sutherland
28 October 2009
EISH BBA nation, just when you thought it was safe to put away your tissues, snot en trane hit the Big Brother house on Monday with the force of a Highveld electric storm.
On hearing that bedmate Jeremy and his entourage of muscles are up for eviction this week, Emma cried enough to ease the drought in more than one country.
One of my TVSA blogger friends was so washed away by her tsunami of tears that he momentarily thought the Angolan cougar might be having lymph drainage treatment!
Of course, more cynical viewers pooh-poohed Emma's watershed moment as a ploy to get sympathy votes. Naaaaaaaah, she wouldn't do that ... or would she?
But what Emma doesn't know is that her head is also on the chopping block. God forbid.
Yip peeps, if she'd known that I have no doubt that we would have been halfway to a solution to the world's water problems - it's just a Jemma of a cloudburst away.
Hella, who knows, she too may be gifted a Nobel Peace Prize!
This week's Head of House (HoH) ... the one, the only, the indomitable Nkenna ... has put up Emma in Itai's place.
Eish, I am so loving Nkenna, but more on that another time.
As all you avid addicts know - and no, I'm not talking about those of you who'll have to wait until June 2011 for the next instalment of the Avid-SSC court case - the HoH is obliged to swap a housemate, or face eviction themself.
Along with Jeremy, Mzamo and Itai received the most votes.
Nkenna was wrenched. Mzamo is her friend, and Itai was her comrade-in-arms up until Sunday. She'd all but promised him that if she wasn't up, she'd save him.
After what seemed like forever and a day, and persistent prodding from Biggie headmistress "to hurry it up", Nkenna stayed true to her word, saved Itai and inserted Emma into the equation.
P'D OFF
As it turned out, the tsunami of tears was just a prelude to the unleashing of typhoon Elizabeth.
es, the socalled quiet one, also known as the consort of 50 Naira (Kevin to you), and codenamed FSG (forever sick girl) by my interceptor centre connection south of Windhoek, operating so under the radar that not even her codename can be revealed. Take that, you Spy Bill proponents!!
Like Lazarus being raised from the dead, a whole new Elizabeth turned up on Monday night.
My, my, my Eliza!!
The long and the short of it is that the former Miss Tanzania finalist feels Itai is meddling in her and 50 Naira's affairs.
Please note affairs, not affair. I don't want to end up in the line of fire!!
P-words were flashed around as fast as flies opening in a urinal after a soccer match.
Itai called Elizabeth a psycho; she called him a perve, and a pervert.
Filth was flung at yell-force volume from bed to bed.
She told him to keep his filth(y) - I kid you not - filthy words to himself. And not to swerve-perve around in her business.
And she, yes she Elizabeth, would take him on like a man. Yes, a man, outside the house. "I'm warning you. You'll see a whole different me."
We have already, Elizabeth, we have already!
Eliza also told, nay thundered at Itai that this was the last day that he would talk about her.
The Zimbabwean, who maintained he didn't have a clue what she was talking about, hit back with a cutting "there's nothing special about you for me to talk about". Ouch!
And 50 Naira? He lay huddled under a duvet on a bed drawn up next to Eliza's while his consort got her nairas on.
Not a word crossed his lips.
Seems Eliza may also have been a bit unsettled by the eviction switch. she doesn't trust Nkenna and at one point expressed the fear that Nkenna might switch her in Itai's place.
STOP PRESS
Just a quick one for today, BBA friends. Tomorrow is another day. But, but, but ... potentially big news. And please note that I'm only committing to potentially!
Biggie headmistress has left the house! S'true. As happened last year, the voice has fallen silent, and the housemates have been left with a phone and access to a Big Brother call centre.
And ... roll the drums and sound the trumpets ... speculation is swirling that Biggie's gone off in search of a new housemate!
Whether this is another twist in the show, or a mere rumour, remains to be seen.
Stay tuned!
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