Mmegi/The Reporter (Gaborone)
Calistus Kolantsho
30 October 2009
Selebi-Phikwe — Batswana have been urged to change their attitude when they are in relationships and talk openly about HIV/AIDS and think beyond themselves.
A social worker from Botswana Network of People Living with HIV/AIDS (BONEPWA), Lorato Moalusi-Sakufiwa said in Selebi-Phikwe this week that there are women who have been raped or abused in marriages when they talk about condoms.
She said Batswana need to be open to their partners and think beyond themselves. "Our behaviour in relationships is pathetic. People put other people's lives at risk instead of saving them. Somebody will just have unprotected sex when they know that they are living with HIV.
I am waiting for the Botswana HIV/AIDS impact survey statistics to see how the situation is," she said.
Moalusi-Sakufiwa added that stigma needs to be fought at all costs and Batswana need to talk openly about HIV/AIDS. She stated that HIV/AIDS prevalence and infection numbers are increasing unlike countries such as Uganda that have prevalence rates of less than five percent. She suggested that to deal with HIV/AIDS, gender- based violence, especially against women, needs to be addressed. She said pre-marital counselling needs to be taken seriously.
She advised men to come forward and report when they are abused by their wives. She pointed out that more women report violence unlike men. "HIV/AIDS prevalence among people who have been in violent intimate relationships is 30% and there are reasons why some people continue staying in such relationships. Some people are attracted to people who abuse them or who don't love them. Some don't have self-esteem and some experienced abuse when they were young," she explained.
She said a study has indicated that 63% of women experience sexual abuse compared to 36% for men. About 81% of women experience verbal abuse while only 19% of men are affected.
Moalusi-Sakufiwa said the study showed that 70% of women experience emotional abuse compared to 30% of men. She stated that rape and sexual assault in most cases is not about sex. It is about anger and the perpetrators way of handling it.
She asserted that people who have financial power in a relationship take decisions on how to have sex and they can choose to have unprotected intercourse.
She advised partners to negotiate about power sharing in a relationship. She called for the introduction of a Marital Rape Act because women are unable to report if they are raped by their husbands.
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