Jerry Kai-Lewis
13 November 2009
If you are an adult male that's having sexual relations with any adolescent girl 10 or more years your junior, you are involved in cross-generational sex! And studies suggest that it is this kind of sex that is rendering teenage girls between the ages of 15-19 in Eastern and Southern Africa six times more susceptible to HIV than boys the same age.
Although it is an age old practice that finds a parallel in all the world's cultures, sex-perts are now saying that this practice could spell the end of humanity as we know it; well, for Africa at least.
Their contention is that with the highest risk HIV/AIDS group (35-45) engaging in sexual intercourse with the age group with the least prevalence (15-21), containing the disease in Africa is far from near. Based on the literature reviewed for this article, it would seem that having sex with older partners is the norm for adolescent girls the world over. But while this trend is not exclusively an African phenomenon, three main factors suggest why it is quickly becoming so.
Firstly, it is suggested that the slow economic growth across the continent has made the economic value of sexuality more pronounced for adolescent girls. With less access to money than boys their age, and wanting the trappings of life that denote prestige at an early age, young girls are turning to older men for sex for favours.
These favours often include soap, perfume, cellphone, dresses, jewelry, rent, and even a night out. A compilation of figures in Southern Africa revealed a higher than expected number of single girls (aged 15-19) who received money or gifts in exchange for sex: 13 percent in Zimbabwe, 21 percent in Kenya, 31percent in Uganda, and 38 percent in Zambia. Among girls 14 years and older in Swaziland, 20 percent reported being sexually active because of financial reasons.
A second reason suggested for cross-generational sex across Africa is that historically African men have always linked their sexual prowess to how many women they can marry; the younger the wife the more the prestige. In the current dispensation, older men prefer adolescent partners for several reasons; some of which are the beliefs that: they are HIV-free; and that if they are virgins, could help HIV positive men turn back the tides of the virus.
According to a study by Nancy Luke and Kathleen M. Kurz, Cross-Generational and Transactional Sexual Relations in sub-Saharan Africa, "sexual potency is a status marker for men, which follows from the traditional desire for many wives and children. As men mature, they take pride in continuing to attract and marry young wives, resulting in large age difference between marital partners. The prevailing gender ideology, reinforced by the system of polygamy, holds that men need frequent sexual gratification and multiple partners. Sexual encounters are mostly controlled by men with little or no concern for women's desires, and there is little discussion about sexuality and reproduction between marital partners. Condom use is viewed as the responsibility and choice of men, and men believe that condoms reduce sexual pleasure."
It is a common trend that as adolescent girls mature, the age of their sex partners increases. Two studies report that 12 and 25 percent of the surveyed girls' most recent sexual partners are more than 10 years older, depending on the age group of the girls. A study from rural Uganda suggests that 8.5 percent of girls' (aged 15-19) most recent partners are 30+ years old, indicating an 11-year or greater age difference.
For girls who have become pregnant, numerous studies suggest that their partners were much older. One project in Tanzania reported 73 percent of girls' (aged 15-19) partners (most often the partner for whom they became pregnant) were 30 years old, and 27.5 percent were over 40 years old - the latter statistic revealing age differences of at least 21 years. In another study, 31 percent of girls' (aged 14-17) partners (who were responsible for the pregnancy) were over age 45 - at least a 28-year age difference.
Startling as these statistics might be for most, the third suggested reason for cross-generational sex in Africa brings them into perspective. All the major studies previewed reported a sharp decline in familial control over sexual education and the behaviours of adolescents throughout Africa. With formal education replacing the socialisation and educational aspects of our initiation rituals and advice of the elders, our children are turning to their friends and TV stars for advice on everything relating to sex. Botswana, it seems, is no different from her African sister countries.
A case in point is Tshepo*, an 18-year-old from Phase 4, Gaborone. She said she met "him" at a nightclub six months ago. Although she knew of the age difference between them, she said that he was charming and looked nothing close to 42. "He actually looked younger than 27. Well, the friends I was with thought he was also cute!" she added.
After exchanging numbers Tshepo said that her friends kept tightening the screws on her to keep in touch with him. A few phone calls later they started meeting on quiet street corners at night.
"He would come close to my house and I'd sneak out of the house. We would sit in his car and talk for hours. At times he would come with takeaway food, drinks and a present every now and then" she said, a flicker of happiness in her smile as she reminisced. "After our meetings, I'd go home and do an sms conference with my schoolmates, updating them about how things were going."
When the talk of sex came up, her friends were the first to offer advice. "I was advised to have sex with him as soon as possible or he'd lose interest in me. He was an older, handsome guy with a good job and a hot ride," she said with a smile.
The meetings around the corner started happening at parties, nightclubs, restaurants and eventually at his house. "I was shocked how nobody used to notice our age difference. I don't blame them, he looked younger for his age and I look older for mine, won't you say?" she asked with an impish smile. According to the young lady, her "sugar daddy" never pressured her to have sex with him. "My friends would ask what was wrong with him for not making a move. Eventually, they started asking what was wrong with me? And because he would take me to malls, restaurants, movies and nightclubs, spend money on me for clothes, and never demanded sex or even tried to kiss me, I started thinking he loved me," said Tshepo.
After a fun night out at a popular nightclub, Tshepo, who was a virgin, decided that she'd be deflowered that night. "After we had sex about four times after that night, for some reason, his attitude started to change. His phone calls became infrequent, no more visits.He seemed to be always busy, sometimes he wouldn't answer. Whenever we meet it would always be about sex. Finally I got the message and stopped calling him. I haven't heard from him in weeks, I only see him every now and then at the clubs with a different girl each time. Later I found out he was married and that his wife works overseas," she said.
Cross-generational sex happens. It has been happening since time immemorial in all cultures around the world. In developed countries, strict laws have been passed and enforced with long jail terms even for first time offenders. On sitcoms, theatre plays and made for TV movies, older men preying on younger girls are cast in a negative light in order to curtail the trend of cross-generational sex we inherited from old.
Here at home, cultural norms will have to change if we are to see a generation of young women grow up to enjoy their adolescent years, not falling victims to men who prey on their innocence, and financial conditions, for sex.
Young girls should report advances made on them by men old enough to be their fathers, and the community should mobilise and frown upon such behaviours. Lastly, enforcement of statutory rape laws should be taken with religious fervour in order to discourage future predators.
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