Joshua's wife, just returning from the US, insisted on a joint HIV/AIDS test before sex.

Before now, E.N Joshua, a successful maize farmer at the Bonaberi locality in Douala had impatiently awaited the return of his wife, Emma, who travelled to the USA in June 2008 to care for the kids of her elder brother. In due course, Joshua reportedly adopted an unconventional way of communal life, becoming too naughty and haughty to handle. It is said he notoriously paraded the neighbourhood with stumps of Western Union Money Order, calculatedly pinned high above his chest pocket, to provoke his critics. He nauseatingly snubbed both sphincters and house wives; discarded his favourite drink, "odontol", which he then described as "infamous African larger". He had even switched from "33 Export" to Gold Harp, a beer scarcely consumed in Bonaberi due to elevated prices. Joshua also carried a pocket English dictionary from bar to bar, struggling to memorize a few knotty words using his nostrils; conceitedly abandoned farm work; switched from "corn-fufu" to cornflakes; resorted to drinking coffee every noon; and boisterously boasted of a pending flight ticket from his brother-in-law in Florida.

On July 15 2010, Joshua hired a group of bike riders to receive Emma at the Douala International Airport. That evening, dozens thronged Joshua's rugged-earth veranda to shake hands with his American-ornamented lady. And, like Helen of Troy, Emma talked about Obama, his wife, kids and pets, cautiously biting the tail of each word. Her listeners listened with approval, firmly thrusting their nostrils towards Emma's direction, adorned with the caressing smell of "timeless" perfume. Joshua arrogantly watched from a distance, greedily sipping a glass of red wine.

But after sun, sunshine comes rain. Joshua did believe the reality of "Coming to America" only at bedtime. Emma had strikingly dressed in a cream-white nightgown and a tight-fitted "kolang", which cramped her buttocks just above her waistline. Joshua watched with an irrepressible appetite. Emma murkily slipped into her thick woolly blanket. Joshua followed. But bed-mate night talks failed. Emma fragrantly turned down the usual bedtime requests of E.N Joshua, recommending a joint HIV/AIDS test. Joshua opted out. The couple remained in silence for a week. On Tuesday 27, Joshua fastened a traditionally-laced cowry around his neck, hanged it on tree branch at the backyard, and skipped high into the air. The weary branch gave way. Joshua landed mercilessly on his back, crying for help. Hundreds who rushed for rescue later matched Joshua to the courtyard of the quarter head, where he was badly flogged for attempting suicide.