Time, if you will allow this column to drag an over worn cliché across its cluttered path, changes everything( This is not original).

Time was when sycophants had class. In days gone by, fawning was an esoteric art. It was for men who had some brains and some imagination. It took a certain amount of panache to stand the truth on its head without appearing to do so. Not anymore. Now, sycophants are brainless, with little imagination! I see problems ahead, enough to sink the Titanic.

Certain acts of commission or omission can be forgiven but not confusing a sycophant with a patriot. Let me sketch the typical sycophant. They are not patriots. They work for self, not for country. They 'toil' for bread - all the time. They are shameless. They invent history (old school). Now they fabricate history. They are not known to stand for anything. They, therefore, and necessarily, fall for anything with the remotest link to bread.

Sycophants are traders. That bears repeating. They will sell their country for a fast buck. They will market anything so long as the price is right. Show me a sycophant who is not in the game for self and I will show a thousand naira coin!

Time was when a 'toady' will look their master in the eye and tell him the truth. Now the creeps will fall all over themselves at the sight of their boss in the bid to curry favours. Curiously, sycophants and their masters share a common bond - they are both bungling dimwits surrounded by bewildering halfwits and numbing nit wits.

A bungling dimwit is a student who identified Yenogoa as the capital of Borno State in an exam and prayed all night long that God grant his wish before the paper was marked the following day! A bewildering half wit is the examiner who claimed ignorance of the answer because he was not a Nigerian, and therefore, couldn't tell! A numbing nitwit is the one who recommended that the examination body should expedite action and accept that, indeed, Yenogoa is certainly the capital city of Borno State.

This is exactly the current situation 'friends of democracy' found itself. Drivers of this curious contraption are clearly dim wits. A party rule says the current president can't run in the impending polls on account of 'zoning'. But friends of democracy say nay, he can run. He is qualified. The nation's constitution guarantees that. If it is on the basis of zoning, they argued, in a sophist manner, he is already a 'northerner'. Now, this is the dumbest of the arguments. Jonathan a northerner? Haba mister sycophant! How low can you get? Or, are you, by any chance, on drugs?

To demonstrate his 'northernness', the sycophant-in-chief disclosed to a cynical citizenry that the president 'is fasting along with Muslims'! Haba, don't insult us! Nigerians don't need a fasting president. We need a president that delivers. And the current one is all talk. For a president that 'is fasting with Muslims' he has an unhealthy appetite for aircraft.

Where I come from, his admirers have since rechristened him 'Jamilu Mai Sa'a on account of his good 'luck' since debuting as a political dark horse on the political terrain eleven years ago. Fate has been, indeed, kind to him. In 1999, Jonathan was an obscure, No.2 to a powerful 'governor-general of the ijaw nation. Fast forward to the year 2010. He is a 'duly elected' commander-in-chief without as much as facing the electorate directly. But now 'friends of democracy' want to play god for Jonathan

How possible is it to be 'friends' with a concept whose attributes these 'friends' clearly disdain?

There are so many ways to skin a cat but 'friends of democracy' chose the dumbest process. They go against the tide and in the open. Across the land, friends of democracy are the butt of wicked jokes. Those in the know have created and spread a vicious story. They are seen as 'enemies of democracy'.

Just who are the 'friends' of democracy? They are men and women, the story goes, with a politically dubious past and a rancid present. It says further that they are politically worthless, controlling not even their wards and, more importantly, broke and in debt. They are desperate for rehabilitation. They need 'friends' with cash. Only yesterday, some of them stood solid like the Rock of Gibraltar against constitutional provision of the No.2 taking over from a comatose president; today they are the most visible in the 'fawning' business!

Let me make some clarifications here. I am for equity. I strongly believe that all Nigerians old enough to know the difference between sycophants and patriots are at liberty to vie for any elective post. Democracy, after all, is the tyranny of the majority. Let the minority have their say and let us, the majority, have our way. In a free and fair contest, I can guarantee that Jonathan will lose. My concern is, with friends like these standing truth on her head, democracy is endangered!