A public invective at the African Union heads of state panel (By Laurent Gbagbo, rightful ruler of South Ivory Coast):
Jamais! I'll have the same thing Kibaki and Mugabe are having, thank you very much.
Just as I thought we were beginning to establish the loser-takes-half (a.k.a unity government, a.k.a power-sharing, a.k.a one-man-no-chop) electoral system as home-grown African democracy, you allow the Western imperialists to change your minds. Cowards! Lâ ches! (Jacob Zuma excluded—now, that's a man.)
My brothers, their ways are not our ways and we Africans are tired of imperialists imposing their ways upon us. It has taken them thousands of years to reach this, their—clear my throat and spit— "democracy." What we are saying is give us time. Let's do it small small, un peu un peu. We are saying let us begin with half-half—the African way.
My brothers, the loser-takes-half system is working; give it time. You did the right thing in the beginning by sending my brother Odinga to mediate. (By the way, mediate is from the Latin word mediari: divide in the middle.) I said to myself that is the man who is piloting the loser-takes-half system in the east; there is hope. Of course my brother Tsvangirai too is leading (maybe following) the way in the south. Now we in the west also want to get the…how do they call it again?...lessons learned…yes. Yes, south-south cooperation.
For the sake of the undemocratized, there are two emerging models of the loser-takes-half system:
The Kibaki Method:
1. If you see you may lose an election, get yourself sworn in as president as fast as possible.
2. Appoint all the key positions.
3. Go to the negotiating table and show how generous you are by agreeing to share power.
The Mugabe method:
1. Accept that the opposition candidate got more votes, but not the absolute majority, so you need a second round.
2. Beat your opponent's supporters so much that they will not, or physically cannot, vote in the second round.
3. Get yourself sworn in as president.
4. Revert to steps 2 and 3 of the Kibaki Method.
In Ivory Coast, we have done the…how do they call it again?...innovation…yes.
Yes, hybrid system:
1. If your opponent is declared winner, go ahead and get yourself sworn in as president anyway.
2. Be strong against international pressure.
3. Brutalize your opponent's supporters so that the whole world is scared of a humanitarian disaster, your neighbors to the west are scared of another war and your neighbors to the east are so scared of a refugee situation in their new oil-producing area (oh, lucky they) that they oppose any military intervention. (If you fear God, he will even bless you with a tsunami far, far away and a mad man in the desert.)
4. Call journalists terrorists and threaten to punish them accordingly.
5. Revert to steps 2 and 3 of the Kibaki Method.
You see, under the loser-takes-half system, it's not about who won the election; it's about who is sworn in as president. You don't even have to stand for election to be offered half; look at Rajoelina in Madagscar. If all else fails, you can always depend on the Russians, Chinese and the South Africans.
We Ivorians have introduced another..un moment…innovation: If it is not possible to share the government, share the country. Besides, that Burkinabe—lick my teeth, clear my throat and spit—Outtara is only half-Ivorian anyway so it is only fair that he gets half of the country. If he wants another half, he can go and get half of Burkina Faso, non?
The only way we can really have sustainable democracy in Africa is if we develop African solutions for African problems, so we have taken this their— chew kola, lick my teeth, clear my throat and spit—"democracy" and we have adapted it to the African culture. What the imperialists don't know is that in Africa we like to share. We share food and land, so why not votes? If your votes are too many, give somebody too some. Outtara had 500,000 votes too many—that's a greedy man—so we took some. C'est fini.
So I'm telling you I will never go! If you are men, come and show me your manhood (Jacob Zuma excluded). This is my contribution to the African democracy. I pray that some day after I'm gone, we will make the full transition to a loser-takes-all system. That will be progress, n'est-ce pas?
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Satire! It could be as much a tongue and cheek for Laurent (holed in a bunker) Gbagbo, while his countrymen descend into hundred-year abiss. He won't reveal that the presidential villa, when he was at the helm was linked through a tunnel to the French embassy, whom he now castigates "the Western Imperialist". Who's he fooling?
And on the issue of citizenship, why did he enter into an election with a foreigner, he so claims. Igorant? Gbagbo braking the LAW!
TELL you, sick child of Africa! When all fails you, that ethnic card you thrump, will soon be. You've good-company the International Criminal Court. For Your Sins, The Rat Hole, (sic) bunker will open up. Gbagbo Extracted! Welcome to the surface in 'cuffs. It'll be a sin
GBAGBO HAS RESPONED TO THE QUIRES OF HIS REFUSAL TO DENY THE THE OPPOSTION THE PRESIDENCY. I, AM SURE IT WAS WRITTEN IN FRENCH ABD WE'VE BEEN PRIVY TO A SMALL ANALOGY OF WHAT WAS SAID. WHAT HE OR THE PUBLISHERS FAILED TO MENTION THAT IN AFRICA ; NOT BEING GUIDED BY COLONIAL RULE AND SUBJECT TO THIER INTERFERENCE AND DICTATES THE RIGHTS OF INDEPENDENT STATES ARE DELEGATED TO THE HEIRACHIAL POSSITION OF SOVEREIGN STATE WHICH MEANS THJAT THE UNITED NATIONS CHARTER SUBSCRIBES TO INDEPENDENT STATESD WHO HAS A CONSTITUTION WRTITTEN FOR AND BY THE PEOPLE THAT HTIS AND THOSE WHO PRESCRIBE TO THE CONSTITUTION SHOULD BE RESPECTED BY ALL AND OTHER INTERNATIONAL BODIES. IT IS UNETHICAL AND INDIGNANT FOR ANOTHER NATION TO DICTATE TO A SOVERIGN NATION WHO AND WHAT THEIR CONSTITUTION SHOULD CONTAIN . THE RIGHTS OF ALL NATIONS TO BE GOVERENED BY THEIR OWN SUBJECTS IS A RIGHT SINCE THE DEVELOPMENT OF NATIONS AND NMO ONE NATION HAS ANY AYTHORITY TO CONSIDER ITSELF MASTER OF FATE AND DESTINY. AS WE KNOW THERE IS ONLY ONE WHO HAS THAT DIVINE AND NAJESTIC POWER TO DICTATE HIS WILL ; OUR SOVEREIGN OMNIPOTENT, OMNIPRESENT CREATOR IS ONLY HE THAT CAN TRANSCRIBE TO THIS GRATNESS AND THE WILL OF SMALL MINDS AND EVIL MEN CAN NEVER DICTATE TO THE RIGHTEOUS. INTHE KINGDOM OF THE TRUTH AND THE FAIR CHOICE IS THE BENEFACTOR FROM WHICH GOOD GOVERNANCE IS ESTABLISHED . WHEN STRANGERS TRY TO IMPOSE THEIR TEACHERS AND THEIR FALSE PROPHETS TO THE ELCT AND HIS COUNCIL THEY ARE ALWAYS STUMBLING AND THEY SAHLL ALWAYS FLEE IN THE FACE OF TRUTH. THE WEAKER GOVERNMENTS OF THE AU WHO STILL SUBCRIBE TO THE MATERIIAL WEALTH OF THE PROPHETS OF DOOM AND DESTRUCTION WHO ALLOW THEIR PEOPLE TO BE EATEN AND KILLED SHALL ALSO BECOME LIKE THEIR MASTERS BORN TO CONFUSION AND INDIRECTION THEY WILL ALWAYS LOSE THEIR WAY FOR THEY TRUST NOT IN THE MOST HIGH BUT IN THE VOICES OF THE DAMNED AND THE DEVELOPERS OF FANTASY AND ILLUSIONS THEY TRUST TO MAGICIANS WHO CHANGE THE WEATHER AND BRING CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION TO THE PLANET . THEY ARE LOST THEY CANT FIND THEIR WAY THEY DONT KNOW WHO TO BELEIVE THEY DONT KNOW WHO TO TRUST ; THE WISENESS OF THE CREATOR LOSES ITS MESSAGE IN THEIR HEARTS THE NON BELEIVERS THOSE THAT WILL NEVER SEE THE BLESSINGS OF THE MOST HIGH" THE AFRICAN CONTINENT IS NOT FOR SALE THIS IS NOPT A GAME TO BE DIVIDE LIKE MONOPOLY THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FRNCOVILLE OR WHAT EVER ITS REFERD TO BY THE WEST ; WHATS HAPPENING NOW AS I HEAR FROM MY ESTEEMED BROTHER THAT THE OIL BUG HAS BITTEN SOME BROTHERS OF THIS RECENMT DEVELOP[MENT ; SO ALREADY THEY BEGIN TO BECOME CONSUMED BY THE PLAYERS OF DOOM ; THEIR HEART IS WEAK.. MAN AND MAN HAVE TO STAND UP STRONG IN EARTH AND NO DEVIL LEADERSHIP IS ACCEPTABLE. THE GOVERNMENTS WHO SUBSCRIBE TO CIA AND MI5N6 ARE PUNISHABLE FOR TREASON AND ARE EXCECUTABLE BY LAW . THESE GOVERNMENTS ALLOW ITS CITIOZENS TO SUFFER , TORTURED , KIDNAPPED MURDERED AND FALL VICTIMS TO ILLIGETIMATE IMPRISONMENTS. THESE BETRAYUERS OF HUMANITY THOSE WHO WORSHIP THE DEVIL TO TURN THEIR BACKS ON HUMANITY FOR SELFISH AND FALSE WEALTH ARE TO BE BURNED IN FIRE . THE IMPERIAL UN USA NATO ARE THE PERPETRAITORS OF THE SOVEREIGN EXISTENTS OF ALL MAN .; THEY PRETEND TO PRACTISE THE TRUTH BUT WHAT THEY PRACTISE IS LIES DECEIT CORRUPTION ILLEGALITY DIVISIONS DISUNITY INSURRECTIONS MISEDUCATION BIOLOGICAL AND GERM WARFARE {HAITI} WHERE THE PEOPLE SUFFERED FROM THE UN S GERM WARFARE ATTACK ON THE PEOPLE THEN THEY ROBBED THE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS COLLECTED ROUND THE WORLD FROM POOR PEOPLE TO FEEL THEIR COIFURES WHILE THE PEOPLE STILL LIVE IN CAMPS AND SUFFER FROM MISREPRESENTATION AND THEIR DESIRE TO MISRULE THE PLANET WITH THIER DEMONIC IDEOLOGY. WHAT THEY SAY AND WHAT THEY DO IS BASED ON ILLUSION AND DELUSION; LOOK AT THIS ; CHINA HAS LITERALLY BOUGHT ALL MY WORTHLESS BONDS BUTR LOOK ; ICAN PRINT TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS THAT DOESNT MEAN ANY THING; THEN WHAT WE WIL BROADCAST TO THE WORLD HOW THE PRESIDENT HAS TO ASK THE CONGRESS FOR MONEY AND WE WILL PRETEND THIS ID DEMOCRACY AND WE ARE BEING FISCAL SO THE WORLD WILL THINK AMERICA IS FEELING THE CRUNCH; WHAT WE WILL THEN DO IS FORCE OTHER COUNTRIES TO GIVE THEIR WEALTH TO THE WORLD BANK AND CUT ALL SOCIAL PROGRAMS FOR REAL HEALTH CARE FOR THE TRUE NEEDY AND DEFENSELES WHO DIE IN THEIR MILLIONS BECAUSE THEIR DICTATES ARE TOO STRINGENT FROM WHICH THE POLICIES ARE DICTATED BY THE IMF THE WBO USA EU AND NATO. SO YOU SEE THE DELUSION IS FOR THOSE WHO CAN NOT SEE AND THOSE WHO BECOME TRAPPED IN THE CRYSTAL BALL OF DELUSIONS . WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT GBAGBO WAS SEEN TO BE PRESIDENT BY THE CONSTITUTION OF COTE D' IVOIRE AND WHETHER YOU LIJKE IT OR NOT FRANCE AND THE UN CAN NOT UNDERMINE ANY CONSTITUTIONAL GOVERNMENT THE INTERNATIONAL LAW OF SOVEREIGNTY DICTATES THAT TO WHICH EVEY COUNTRY THAT IS A SIGNATORY TO THE UN HAS TO RESPECT AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH PREETY TALK THAT COMES OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF LIARS THEY MUST REFER TO THE INTERNATIONA;L CODE OF CONDUCT AND THEY WILL SEE THAT THEY HAVE EMBARKED UPON A DELLUSION AND A MIISION OF ILLEGALITIES." THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN UNDER MINE A CONSTITUTION ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE SAIS COUNTRY AND NO ONE HAS THE POWER TO CHANGE THE LAWS OTHER THAN THE VOTE OF ALL THE PEOPLEOF THE SAID COUNTRY . MR. GBAGBO CAN REST ASSURED THE REASON WHY FRANCE DID NOT WANT THE WORLD TO SEE A RECVOUNT AND UNDERMINED YOUR LEGITIMATE COPNSTITUION WAS BECAUSE THEY COULD NOT ALLOW THE WORLD TO SEE THE VOTES; SO THEY CONSPIRED WITH THE UN TO MANUFACTURE THIS HUMANE CALAMITY OF MASS MOVEMENT OF PEOPLE TO DISCOURAGE THE WORLD FROM EVER ARRIVING AT THE TRUTH. TRUTH CAN NEVER BE HIDDEN FOR A WHILE BUT CREAM ALWAYS RISE TO THE TOP" M THE FERNCH AND THE UN ARE LOSERS IN THEIR ESCAPADE THRUOUT ALL AFRICA THEY WAFFLE LIKE BUFOONS WHILE THEIR PLOT BECOMES COSTLY NAD UNSTABLE THE PLAN WAS A THOUGHT OF SMALL MINDS WHO WANT TO CONTROL L;ARGE NUMBERS OF PEOPLE AND THEIR WEALTH; STAY STRONG EVERYDAY THE WICKED FEELS THE ANGUISH OF THEIR TREACHERY" PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL THE AFRICANS WHO BELEIVE IN THE INEDPENDENTS OF THEIR RIGHT TO GUIDE THEIR OWN DESTINY AND NOT TO BE THE CONCEPT OF SOME FALS HISTORICAL NOVELS THAT POTRAYS THE FOOL YOU SEE IN THE JEWSIH PROPAGANDA HOLLYWOD. THE TRUTH THAT AFRICA WAS A VERY CIVILISED PLACE AND THEY USE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE GREATNES OF MECCA AND EGYPT ISRAEL SOLOMON THE REALITY IS THAT ALL IS AFRICA" DONT GET IT TWISTED "
The French Need to Leave Ivory Coast
This problem has been truly instigated by the interntional community. It is incredible, but the French are the main obstacle in Ivory Coast because they are NOT an impartial group. They are the colonisers and that is inflamming the situation. It is clear that Ivory Coast is still under colonialism by the French. The French should leave and most likely the problem will be soved more readily.
DOLO MACK WRITES,
THE TWO "GS"MUST G-O=GO.
IT IS A DIFFICULT HONOR AND PRIVILEGE THAT I DEVELOPE THIS MARRIED PHOTOGRAPHS OF TWO AFRICAN LEADERS LURANT GADHAFI AND MUMMAR GBAGBO.THE STORY HAPPENING WAS RECORDED ONCE UPON A YESTERTIME AND HAS COME SO FIMILIAR THAT I WONDER IF WE SHOULD BE REMINDED IF WE GRASP THE REALITY OF WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
THESE TWO CHARACTER OF LEADERS, NOT MISTAKENLY NAMES ARE MARRIED IN ACTS OF VIOLANCE, BETRAYALS OF AFRICAN HERITAGE, SPONSORS OF TERRORISM, TREASURERS OF LONG PRACTICED HIGHLY DEVELOPED STUBBORN RAPID DEFIANCE. AS PAINFUL AS THEIR MARRIAGE AND NOTICED ACTIONS HAVE BEEN FELT MOST BY THEIR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS AND PARTS OF THE WORLD, THEY STILL HOPE FOR AFFECTIONS BOTH NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD NEVER HAD.
THE WRITER SO EAGER TO TELL THE STORY ON HIS MIND THOUGH DEFINITELY RUNNING ON A PARALLEL AND UNBRIDGED SCHEDULES,HE WONDERS IF GOD MIGHT BE SURPRISED LIKE MAN. GOD IS NOT LIKE MAN WHO IS QUICK TO FORGET, TOLERATE EACH OTHER'S WEAKNESSES, FOR THE MOST PART WARS CONTINUE TO REVAGE INNNOCENT LIVES, DOMESTIC VIOLANCE IS A GROWING CALAMITY AND YET THESE TWO LEADERS ARE CONTINUOUSLY WEDDED IN PRIDES AND CHOICES THEY 'VE MADE WITH NO FEARS OF GOD.
SUCH DEMONSTRATED WEDDING UNDER THE SPONSORSHIP OF THE DEVIL WHOM THE BOTH WORDSHIP IS ACCEPTED WHEN AGAINST GOD'S EXPRESSED WARNINGS LURANT GADHAFI AND MUMMAR GBAGBO FORBIDING MARRIAGE IGNORES EVERY SENT SIGNALS. THEIR INVITED GUESS CONVIENCED THEM TO INVITE WAR GENERALS,DRESSED AND TRAINED REBELS IN EVERY FACTIONS, SPILLED BLOODS OF LIBERIANS AND OTHERS WERE SERVED FOR TOASTS AND CRIED TO GOD IN THE HEAVEN, WAR PLANES, SHIPS AND WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTIONS ARE PRESENTED AND RECIEVED GIFTS AND CARDS OF MISCONCEIVED LEADERSHIPS WERE POSTED.
A LITTLE BREATHING SPACE CALLED LIBERIA FOUNDED ON CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES WAS THE PLACE FOR THEIR HONEY MOON AND ALL WE HEARD WAS "WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW, THEY ASKED FOR IT AND WE GIVE IT TO THEM". DO ANY OF THESE LEADERS AND MARRIED COUPLES EVER THINK ABOUT IF THERE IS A GOD, IF SO THEY WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT THIS DAY IN THEIR LIVES WILL COME. I PRESUME NO.FOR THE MOST PART THE LOOKS WORN ON THEIR FACES TELL ME SO.
HOW DELIGHTFUL IT IS FOR THE WRITER TO BE ALIVE AND SEEING THIS DAY COMES SO PARALLEL AND UNBRIDGED AS ANSWERED PRAYERS THAT THE TWO GS MUST G-O =GO AND IN SO DOING GOD HAS CONFUSED THEM THAT THEY ARE IN HIDDING AND ONE HAS SENT A MIS SPELLED LETTERS WORDS TO ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST MAN.
IF THE WRITER'S STORY IS NOT THE RIGHT REASON, HE BELIEVES THAT OTHERS HAVE AND THE WORLD WILL HANG ON EVERY WORDS, LAUGH AT LEAST AMUSING LINES AND APPLAUSE EVERY BITS OF BITTERNESS WHICH THE TWO LEADERS WERE INVOLVED .NEATLESS TO REMIND US OF WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW THESE COUPLES DESERVE AND ARE RECIEVING. I BET THEY DO AND I AM GLAD THEY ARE LEARNING THE MOST VALUABLE LESSONS THAT LIFE COULD TEACH THEM.