31 May 2012

Uganda: The Wrongs Women Do - Men's Worst Turnoffs


You catch his disapproving eye when you innocently remove an irritating piece of meat stuck between your teeth, but you don't think much of it.

At the end of the first night out, you will remember it as a very romantic dinner that kick-started your relationship. A few months or years down the road, he will ask for space and you will wonder why. But he knows that he can't tolerate a woman who picks her teeth.

The truth is that men, like him, have turnoffs that they can only stand for a while. And sooner than later, they extract themselves from the relationship with a flimsy excuse; if only women knew what turns men off. Simon Musasizi took a walk around town and asked men what turns them off...

Robert Ssekidde, Musician and TV Producer

This girl knew everyone at the hangouts we went to. She knew and hugged bouncers, waiters and revellers. She generally paid more attention to other people and her phone during our quality time. Since it was our first date, I paid the bills, excused myself and left because she proved to me that she is cheaper than a Chinese phone.

Easy come

Joe Tabula, Musician with Afrigo band: My greatest turnoff was a woman who asked for a kid on our first outing. I asked her about her relationship and she said they had broken up, and immediately added, "Now that I have you, I can't help it but want to give you a baby."

She then pleaded yet I thought it was a joke, "Please Joe, don't let me down because I have really waited long for this date and I actually calculated my days."

It was outrageous and I wondered if she had ever heard of the HIV campaigns (especially using protection) because she proposed to have my child on a first date. I did not even know her status. Although she is my sister's friend, I would never have thought of dating her if my sister had not told me she fancied me.

The schemer

Nixon Ssewanyana, Marketer: It was during a Champion League game and I took her out to Kampala Entertainment Centre. I was with my brothers too.

She mixed her drinks and made fake cocktails of Smirnoff Black Ice and Club beer.

She got drunk and started abusing my brothers, telling them to stop milking me. I had to force her into the car and drove home. When we arrived, I realized she wasn't drunk but pretended to be so as to tell off my brothers. It really put me off.

Crowd- girl

Jean D. Hakuzimana, NGO Officer: It was in Remera in Kigali. I was waiting for her but she instead turned up with another girl. It was a total turnoff. Then, they started ordering for beer (Smirnoff Black Ice), whose price I didn't know because it wasn't on the menu.

By then, I had never taken this beer and didn't know much about it. My heart started beating, praying that the bill would not be too high for me to pay since I only had 20,000 Rwanda Francs. I was furious that ladies always ask for expensive things. I excused myself, went to the counter and asked for the bill. Fortunately, the money I had was enough and I survived that day.

De- thoother

Abiaz Rwamiri, Communications Specialist with USAID-STAR: When she asked for Amarula in Guvnor, I thought she was just being unfair. Can she buy herself a tot of Shs 8,000 all night long?

She wanted me to spend on her; so, I asked her to place another order. And can you imagine what she settled for? Smirnoff! I swore never to take her out again because she thinks going out with a guy means asking for something she can't afford. I told her that I could buy her a bottle of Amarula from the supermarket on our way back because I hate it when a woman tries to exploit me.

Dirty tongue

Chris Higenyi Journalist with Capital FM: She had no respect for the date and thought it was another girls' spree. She kept using the "f" word in all her expressions. And whenever she did so, a couple on the next table would turn their heads and look at us. It was embarrassing and it just turned me off.

She was really hot but her vulgar tongue let me down. The "f" word is secondary school language unless one is inherently Afro-American from the Mid-West.

Most people who use slang and the "f" words have poor backgrounds.

No depth

Joseph Masembe, Proprietor, Uganda's Little Hands Go Green: If she cannot have an intellectual conversation, I can't stand being with her even if she has beautiful looks.

Bragging chatterbox

Paul Kirungi, News Anchor with Capital FM: I met her on Facebook and agreed to have coffee with her. She looked so good that I thought she was my kind of chick.

I thought she was corporate given the fact that she works with a posh company. However, when we met, she was a different person from what I had expected. She was a show-off, who talked about knowing every posh person and place in town.

And another chick who kept answering her phone, as if she was in a call centre, turned me off. I just don't like chicks who talk a lot as if they swallowed a cassette tape.


Allan Ssempebwa Kyobe Journalist: I hope she doesn't read this. Anyway, I recall she was so humble and quiet that I had to sustain the conversation lest people looked at the quiet couple.

She didn't want to say a lot yet I had to make her comfortable; so, had to talk throughout. Whenever I kept silent, it was disaster. She did not ask any question. I think she was timid.

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