12 June 2012

Namibia: Love, Money and Passion Killings Students Speak Out

Windhoek — The recent death of Polytechnic of Namibia student Elizabeth Tuwilika Ekandjo (21) who was allegedly strangled to death with a tie by her former boyfriend Gabriel Jana Petrus has rekindled the debate on gender violence and ideal romantic relationships.

The fact that men 'invest' money in their lovers or shower them with expensive gifts does not give them the right to kill them when they are jilted, is the majority view which emerged as New Era spoke to students last week.

New Era conducted random interviews with students from the University of Namibia (Unam) and the Polytechnic of Namibia on the matter and this is what they had to say:

Leevi Allu: "Both men and women need to be fair and trust their social and emotional feelings. Women expect adoration and respect from men. Cash is a vital thing that you can give, if you have it, but if a girl decides to terminate a relationship, you don't need to ask that money back. All you need is understanding.

"Ignore any reaction against her, because if you really love a girl, you do not need to kill her, because everything is possible and she might even come back to you."

Josephine Nghifidivali: "As a woman, I expect to be loved, to be happy and to be treated with kindness. I expect a man to be there for me whenever I have difficulties, and I do not expect him to overreact if something wrong happens.

"He must sit with me and discuss the problem. If it's possible, he must locate me and my parents so that we can discuss the problem without any harm."

Mukumo Iipinge: "In a romantic relationship people expect to be honest, there should be communication, trust, faith and love. And no one has the right to take someone's life. I think we must only give money to our partners if we are married."

Sunday Kangandjo: "One must be committed, that's what a relationship is made of, and through this you will trust and be honest to her and basically care for her even if you separate. Money is something that you can give with respect and intentionally, for instance, if you don't like the girl's dressing code, you will give her money to go buy what you want her to wear. Wrong friends mostly influence some of the killings."

Happiness Ashipala: "In a relationship, one needs to be respected, loved, there should be equality, fairness, understanding, communication. I believe if the guy gives money, it is wrong. Why must you get money from him, while it's just a relationship? But if he prefers helping you (girl) out with money, then I don't see anything wrong with it. Men should understand when their female lovers decide to end the relationship."

Johanna Nghiueuelekuah: "What I expect from a relationship is respect, trust, understanding and love, which I would also give in return. I don't think it is wrong to get money from my boyfriend if he is giving it to me to help me out with little things. If he gives me money with the thought that I will be his possession, it is wrong, and I should not keep demanding money from him."

Monika Gabriel: "Some of us ladies really don't need men to become who we want to be. We are hardworking, intelligent and I don't think it's right for a man to kill. If a guy feels a girl is taking too much from him, he should move on and let go. Who asked him to give money in the first place?"

Megameno Nepolo: "All one needs in a relationship is respect, honesty, trust, equality in communication and love. It is not wrong when guys give money voluntarily since it comes from their hearts. But it becomes a problem when a girl demands a lot, and when a man gives money and expecting something in return. Ladies, if a guy happens to be abusive, quit before it gets too late. If you can't get it over with him, seek professional counselling."

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