New Era (Windhoek)

Namibia: Love Through the Lens of Rhetoric

opinion

Following recent reports of passion killings in Namibia, I have decided to weigh in from an academic perspective, through the lens of rhetorical language employed by both men and women in a relationship.

The rhetoric of the language of both men and women who are in relationships is fascinating. How often do you hear a man telling a woman, "I love you so much that the clouds, sun, moon and stars are no longer needed in this world." Additionally, how often do you hear a woman telling a man, "I'm so much in love with you that the clock can stop ticking, dogs can stop barking, rivers can go dry, rumours can grow legs, the sea can go dry and people can go hang, for nothing will separate us."

Well, both men and women employ persuasive techniques in their language to persuade whoever they speak to. Generally, men are viewed by women as liars, untrustworthy, cheaters and unpredictable. The truth is that men are not necessarily liars, ladies. Men are generally known for being good speakers; men seem to understand that most women like be complimented, and that is the part most men exploit in trying to persuade women.

I am very sure some of the women out there have probably once said, "I don't know how I ended up in his arms." The truth is men use rhetorical strategies effectively to an extent that a woman is likely to feel hypnotised. This is why most women probably end up in the wrong men's arms.

Young women, it is your responsibility to be attentive to the language men use. It is tremendously important for you to listen cautiously to every word a man says to you. You should be able to read between the lines and his body language. A genuine man would not rush into spoiling you with material goods. Remember, all these material goods are part of his rhetorical strategy to win your poor heart and mind, and if you are gullible, you will be charmed.

Similarly, women use rhetoric tenderly to charm men into total obedience. I am very sure some of you have been victims of this, and I'm sure you wondered how you ended up donating half of your salary to a total stranger.

Interestingly, the style of the language of women consists of both verbal and non-verbal communication. It is the responsibility of men to be vigilant and determine which woman is unadulterated, and which woman will most likely dig a hole in your pockets.

A man should be attentive when a woman speaks. Look at the body language and maintain eye contact and, if necessary, ring the bell of pennilessness. A gold digger would not stand the reverberating sound of pennilessness. Moreover, it is the responsibility of both men and women to resolve and dissolve the situation before the relationship turns sour. What should women do when relationships turn sour? Women should be able to understand the language of men, to avoid physical confrontation with men. It is your responsibility as a woman to listen attentively to what your man says; the clue to killing you could be embedded in the phrases he uses. For example, if a man who is about to be jilted says, "I am not going to let this happen," then you must know your life is possibly on the line.

That is why it is important for women to use persuasive language to convince a man that the relationship is over. Be very dexterous in choosing the words you employ to end the relationship. What we always hear and observe is that couples decide condescendingly, be it men or women, to end the relationship with phrases such as "I don't care"; "I have a better lover of high standing" or "I have someone better" - but the question may arise "better than who?" You should avoid this kind of language, because it is demeaning and insulting, some people can resort to violence. Communication is fundamentally important in any relationship, and the careful choice of words can be very helpful in ending your relationship.

Even if a partner dumps you arrogantly, there is no justification or whatsoever to commit a crime. Before you enter into any relationship, make your intentions known. Why are you in that relationship? What do you want to achieve in that relationship? And why do you choose that specific person?

If you know that you are not ready for a solemn relationship, make it clear to the other person to avoid one person feeling betrayed when the relationship comes to an abrupt end. I am confident and hopeful that next time you want to end your relationship, you will do it with respect and persuasively.

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