6 December 2012

Uganda: Dude On the Loose - Thank God for Posho and Beans

Ask anybody their favourite food and you will hear fancy items like chicken, chips, matooke, potatoes, fish and the like. Others will go a step further to illustrate the combinations like matooke and g-nuts, rice and green peas and the 'villagic campusers' chip-chicken n'enkoko.

But you will not hear anybody mention posho and beans. Reason? That was the only food on the menu during the six or more years they spent in boarding school. Woe unto you if your boarding school days started as early as primary. How did you survive all those years of posho and beans?

So, the Pretty Young Things PYTs are back for the long holidays. (I bet you are wondering how this is connected to posho). It's about the time jealous girlfriends tighten the noose around their boyfriends. I hear even married women express some form of discomfort around this time of the year.

I had to spend close to an hour explaining why I was going to attend the Buzz Leavers' Bash aka kadanke over the weekend. Pleas of how I had been assigned to cover the event and how my eyes will be fixed on Madtraxx not the PYTs dancing to Konshens' Gyal a Bubble fell on deaf ears of my future wife.

See, these kids have 'gifts' and they are not afraid to flaunt them. They are the only reason I thank the Almighty for the Chinese who make those cheap leggings and panty shorts also called hot pants.

How can a body be that fine after months of eating nothing but posho and beans with a few Sundays of rice and beef soup? Maybe therein lies a lesson for our women. After a brief chat with one hot Shaki (swagg for Shakira), I told her to call me when she turns 18. "Actually I am 18, I was jiving when I said 16," she replied.

From 'sweet sixteen' to 'already eighteen' in a flash? I had to run for dear life. On behalf of my future wife and all the happily married/engaged women, keep your fine posho and beans body inside your gates or at least cover them up when you decide to step out.

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