The subject of sexual fetishism is one of those taboos that is, well, not all that a taboo.

At least most of the time, they are harmless and they cannot be a cause for overzealous security agents to come breathing down your neck. Over the weekend, I got lucky to do something I have always wanted to do.

But before I dive into the story, I want to say big up to all event organizers who have a collection of fine ushers. This is simply because, ladies and gentlemen, that is my 'thing.'

Have you ever gone to an event where the hot female ushers (emphasis on female) have taken over? Taking over to the extent that it's hard to concentrate on anything? Well, that's the point where you feign a phone call to step away if you have come with a date just to say hi to the hottie you met at the entrance.

I have always dreamt of picking a hot usher from an event so that she can wake up next to me - in her uniform - the following morning. My lucky day came when I gate-crashed one of the not-so- many ongoing staff Christmas parties.

I decided to stay sober because I have registered more successes while sober than when tipsy. I am no shy guy. As luck would have it, someone was pumping the ushers with liquor, hoping to hook up with one later. Little did he know he was making one dude's work easier.

I was spoilt for choice. When one of the beautiful girls smiled back at me, I knew I was in business. The way the kiwaani pony tail danced on her backside sent my imagination running wild.

I gave her my jacket to fight the biting Serena hotel cold and to mark my territory.The plan was to go to my place, pick a second jacket for myself, then drop her at her place. The latter didn't happen. Gundi (I forget your name) come for your pony tail extension.