13 December 2012

Uganda: Why Girls Can't Escape Bad Boy Syndrome

How many times have you gone out with friends and the topic of "why girls fall for bad guys" comes up?

Often, girls walk to us and ask: "Where are your girlfriends, why don't you hang out with them instead of coming out here to look at these girls?"

Obviously because we often hang out without our significant others, it's taken as a given that we are hiding something.

Yet, these are the same people who, after a few rounds of beer and sweet nothings whispered in their ears, are so ready to jump into the car and go home with us.

Research shows that right from the ancient times, it's men like warriors, gladiators, soldiers and bad boys who set the feminine pulses racing. The question is why:

The thrill:

A bad boy is simply different. By this we mean that he doesn't hold doors and pull chairs during outings to fancy restaurants. And for this, the girls will go for him simply for the thrill because often, he manages to get her number even without begging.

And when he gets that number, he doesn't call immediately, afterall, he might be busy chasing the next deal or taking a weekend road trip. Girls love adventure mbu before they settle; so, when this guy calls, expect him to get lucky on the first or second outing.

But this doesn't mean that the gentleman is boring; he is simply too submissive, offering a shoulder to lean on, listening to the sobbing stories and often being boxed in during a fight.

The good times

When he eventually makes time for her, he will give her the attention of eight on a scale of 10. That's how good he can get.

This makes her hanker for him, always finding it hard to fill the days when he is not with her. And because he pulls out all the stops, the day he claims to be so busy, the women will still give him the benefit of doubt - the reason perhaps he's never out of luck.

The need to change him:

Every bad boy has a story to tell. Maybe it his story about growing up in the Kamwokya ghetto or how his childhood dream of playing rugby for the Rugby Cranes was crashed after a career-ending injury he suffered during one of those high school duels between his Kyambogo College and Namilyango College.

With such a story, any woman's motherly instincts are bound to kick in. Before long, she starts forging ways of how to help the dude get over his drinking and smoking problems. She is willing and even ready to fight for him, always giving the excuse, "you don't know him the way I do" to his girlfriends.

Bad boys are rare:

It's true - bad boys are a rare commodity and like all rare commodities, the allure to have them is irresistible. Bad boys are hard to find because you don't even know where to find them. They do as they please. They go where the wind takes them. And if you are lucky to get his number or have him ask for yours, it's time to do whatever it takes to have him.

Sam's experience: One of my fond memories is the easiest hook-up I ever got. After shooting pictures at a high-end fashion show, I gave my card to this hot model I had been eyeing the whole night. "Hi. My name is Sam and I work for Fashion Police. Here are my digits. Call me-ma be...," I said before igniting my bike and riding off.

What followed thereafter is a long story for another day.

Felix's experience: Like men, women also have an alpha. So, on one of those Saturday outings, I found this hot girl who walked in with a bunch of hang-on's in the club. Within no time, almost every guy was eye-balling her and wanted a word with her. So, when I walked over to her group, I chose the most bad-looking girl and decided to flatter her, listening to all the stupid nothings and pick up lines.

This didn't go well with the alpha's ego and before I knew it, I had her attention. Henceforth, she was the one struggling to have a chat with me. And from her dress, to the make-up, I made her feel like she was wearing the worst outfit. I then told her all the things she shouldn't do once she gets home, things like not leaving behind any of her "cheap earrings and making sure everything of mine in the house was the way she found it".

She laughed and told me no one had ever talked to her like that. Of course you are waiting for the next part, but that's for another time.

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