Leadership (Abuja)

Nigeria: Mistakes Women Make in Online Dating

opinion

Dating online has many down sides, but in this day of technology, no aspect of your life should be left behind. However, a lot of women make some online mistakes they should ordinarily not. Blessing ukemena writes, with report from YourTango.com.

There are so many chat forums and applications to choose from that one gets confused along the way. It used to be just Yahoo Messenger in the past, but it has been dumped for the latest ones, such as Facebook, 2go, Whatsapp and many other chat apps. Any youth that is not online in this age must be living under a rock.

It can be interesting to make new friends online, but people have got into wrong association through these media. Like the case of Cynthia, who was murdered after meeting some guys through one of these social media. So, in order not to attract ritualists, killers and every weird people out there, here are some tips to note when doing social networking:

Extensive lists of what you want or don't want: Now, women tend to get a lot of attention on dating sites. You probably think you're weeding out the guys you don't want to deal with. However, when you make a long list about how the guy you want to meet needs to be; like being friendly, confident, not into playing games, have a good job, love kids, etc., what you may not realise is that you're actually chasing off the kind of guys you're trying to meet.

This is happening because this comes off as being picky and judgemental, and this mentality will eventually make men pull away when you're in an actual relationship.

Porn star usernames: this can get really annoying sometimes. Often, a woman can accidentally send the wrong message by picking a username like "Looking4Fun" or "NaughtyButNice". You might think that you're being flirty, but really you're sending a message to all the sex-focused guys out there that they need to approach you with their lewd comments and messages.

Instead, you should be classy about your username. Being flirty is great in person, but be careful how you do it online, where people can often misinterpret the written word, and first impressions count.

Boring profiles: Have you ever looked at other women's profiles? If you have, you may have noticed that the vast majority of them all look the same. "I'm down for whatever", or "I love going out with my friends". Ladies should learn to put nice and interesting things on their profile. A good start will be to put up thoughtful quotes and changing it at intervals. Even the ladies online will appreciate this.

Talking about your ex: When you pick your photos for your profile, don't post any photos of you with your ex-boyfriend. Any guy that sees this will immediately feel threatened and turned off. And this includes photos of your brother, gay friend, or any other man.

Without getting to know you first, a man has no idea who the other guy is, and may be put off by the idea you're still friends with your ex. Just go out and take some photos of you by yourself that showcase who you are.

Pretending to be what you are not: Lots of women make the mistake of not really giving a guy a reason to want to get to know them. Additionally, you want to showcase your positive qualities, and no, not just talking about your legs, cleavage or your sexy little dress. You're going to have to go beyond looks alone if you're hoping to meet a quality man.

Actually, show your personality and what you have to offer to any potential dates. When you do this, don't just say something like, "I'm a really nice person." Or that you are too sex-addicted. Show him that you are a real person with good personality by what you say online, the good guys may just notice it.

The wrong attitude: Stop thinking that "I can't believe I'm signing up for a dating site". You might feel ashamed that you're on a dating site, but when you say this, you are indirectly turning the good guys off.

Nothing will repel the good guys more than you acting judgemental and shaming them - plus, admitting that you're desperate.

Maybe online dating was kind of weird back in 2002, but everyone is doing things online now. Just embrace the fact that you're online and go in full-force.

Don't worry about the creeps, losers, and social degenerates, they will always exist, but remember to keep your dignity and delete anybody that talks back at you or promises too much online.

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