20 December 2012

Uganda: When Car-Pimping Becomes Trashy

There I was at a car shop, or what Ugandans call the garage, in Bunga minding my heavy bill when I noticed one of the men whom I had earlier seen covered in oil and filth jump behind the wheels of a Range Rover.

I figured that these are the mechanics we hear about in the office, who, when you leave your car behind in the garage, they take it for a ride to such destinations like Fifth Street, Industrial Area at 3am or on the dusty streets of Kabulasoke. And yet he had told you the car was still in a hopeless shape, and stuck in the garage.

However, I was told this particular mechanic actually owned this Range Rover. And God no, he is not Bad Black's boyfriend; he is just an average mechanic, wearing scruffy overalls with dirt under his nails. And here he was, cruising a Range Rover.

I couldn't believe the story until he switched on the lights. His headlamps were Led lights, the front, sideway and back had a strip of lights flashing green like Christmas lighting. The music blaring through the expensive windows was loud enough to entertain a small wedding. He had pimped the car beyond flashy; it was trashy! That is when I believed he owned it because he had all the time in the world to fine-tune it to his taste.

But really, it is not only mechanics who annoy the living day lights out of us with trashy flashy cars. Who goes and sticks those Christmas lights onto his car? And can you please remove the Led lights? As if it is not enough that you are using bright lights, some flashy guys put them in full as they cruise past you.

There are men who have seat covers that look like knitted tablecloth and it looks extremely ugly. I mean, come on, where is your testosterone when you are pimping your car to such ridiculous levels?

Then there are the fake spinning rims.


Spinning rims on a Toyota Premio? When the Toyota Progrès had just got onto the market, there are guys who changed its logo and put the Mercedes Benz logos to fool us. I know they said that the Progrès is a poor man's Benz but let's face it, darling, you cannot duplicate a Benz. We will still know and you will simply look trashy. Just buy a car, drive it, keep it clean and if you really must pimp it, get a catchy bumper sticker.

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