The Namibian (Windhoek)

10 January 2013

Namibia: Minor's Mother Ends 'Sugar Mommy' Affair

A 36-year-old Swakopmund sugar-mommy and a 17-year-old have been forced to end their sexual relationship after the toy-boy's mother obtained a restraining order when she found out during the holiday that the two were involved for the past several months.

Yesterday, both the boy and the woman were summoned by the police to sign the restraining order, and to be informed of the conditions.

According to police sources, the boy did come in and sign, but the sugar mommy said she would come today.

The sugar mommy may not call the teenager, or sms him; she may not be in the same venue or immediate environment as the boy.

If she breaks these conditions, she could face arrest and be charged with statutory rape, a police source investigating the matter told The Namibian.

The names of the mother and son as well as the sugar mommy are known, but will be kept anonymous because a minor - and even more minors - are involved.

The mother told The Namibian that the 36-year-old was preying on her son and several of his teenage friends (most of them allegedly from single homes, or disruptive families), who regularly hang out together in Swakopmund, especially near the popular Mole Beach. Most of them attended the same school.

It came to light that the 'sugar-mommy' befriended the children and invited them to her apartment.

"She told me her intentions were to get the kids off the streets and at least give them a place where they could be safe, play games, watch movies etc. It sounds like a noble cause, but it came out that they were also smoking and drinking there," said the mother.

She said that many of the parents became skeptical of the visits because the woman allegedly promised them all kinds of gifts such as clothes and laptops, and in her son's case, a car.

The mother said she became suspicious when her son was scheduled to take a bus to visit his father during the holidays and the 36-year-old woman offered to drop her son at the bus stop, but later called the mother to say that the trip was cancelled.

"I did not believe this and said that she must make sure he gets on a bus - which he did," she said.

Soon after the boy left with the bus that Friday, the sugar mommy allegedly arrived as "drunk as a skunk" at the mother's front door confessing that she was having a relationship with her son.

"I showed her the door and told her she must stay away from him," the mother explained.

But she apparently still was in constant sms correspondence with her son.

The mother approached the police this week to intervene. Swakopmund station commander Chief Inspector Johanna van Rooyen confirmed the matter and said that it was also referred to the police's Woman and Child Protection Unit.

"She's been married and remarried. She has teenage children herself. Now this 36-year-old woman tells me that my son is the most amazing man she has ever met and that she wants to be with him. In fact, she even said that she was pregnant at a stage, but I found out from her ex-husband that she was 'fixed' long time ago," said the irate mother.

The two allegedly had sex even while the other children were in the apartment.

Adding to the mother's concerns was that the sugar mommy had allegedly applied for a position as a school counsellor (serving as an official confidante for learners who may have social or learning problems) at one of the local high schools - where her son will be doing Grade 12 this year.

"I warned her to withdraw the application. She should not be working as a school counsellor, especially at the school my son is in. She said she would withdraw the application, but we'll see. I'll make Swakopmund so small for her that she would want to leave if she continues prowling on our children," the mother warned.

"One always thinks this only happens in big cities, but here we are in a small community where nearly everyone knows one another. And this happened in front of my eyes. Parents should always be aware where their children are and who they are with and question any suspicious behaviour or circumstances," she warned.

According to the investigating officer, this was a "rare incident" and that cases where boys are involved or raped by adult women are not common.

"It is usually the other way around. We have a major problem with sugar daddies taking advantage of young girls," the officer said.

The newspaper was advised by the police not to get comments from the sugar mommy as she had not yet agreed to and signed the restraining order yesterday.

Asked if the boy was not just driven by his hormones and excitement of having a relationship with an older woman, his mother said she and her son had a long talk about the issue, and that "he now agrees that it was not right".

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