You have found the man of your dreams and made the commitment to him, waiting patiently to walk down the aisle and tie that knot for better or for worse.
The more time you spend with him, the more convinced you are that you will make him happy. Why? Because you love him with all your heart and soul. However, love is not everything in a relationship and subsequently a marriage: you need to be a good wife to your husband.
The following are some of the most obvious signs that you will make a bad wife.
You cut him off from his loved ones
Are you always sick when it is time to visit his folks? Do you always look for excuses to stop him from going to see his parents or his family? Then you are not good wife material. If you pull these stunts when you are in a relationship, what will happen when you are married?
A man will not hesitate to marry you when you help him enrich his relationship with his family, instead of sabotaging it.
James Mbugua, 35, insists that the woman he will spend the rest of his life with must be in good terms with his relatives. "There is nothing as bad as a woman making you choose between her and your relatives especially your own mother," he says.
His sentiments are echoed by Bill Oluoch, who says that nothing will make him happier than seeing the people he loves getting along. He says,"I want to see my mother and my wife in a good and working relationship. No stress, no arguments."
You are with the man only when things are smooth
Are you always pulling away when things get tough for your man? Then you are not cut out to be a good wife. The vows insist for better for worse, and yes, life is not always about the better. There are days when times will get tough, and that is when everything will count.
As a girlfriend and later, a wife, you need to be supportive of your man through the difficult times. Give him all the emotional support he needs and stand by him.
"If you are only with me when things are good, you are no different from a gold digger," says Simon, 37. He insists that he will only walk down the aisle with a woman who has proven that she will stand by him. After seeing how his friends have fared in the hands of such women, he does not want to go down that road.
You are psychotic
Men will never swear their undying loyalty to any woman who breeds chaos, insanity and misunderstanding. With such behaviour you are more likely to ruin your life and that of your man. Psychotic women are toxic, and no man in his right mind would want one around him, let alone around his children.
Joe, 33, left his girlfriend the moment she started showing her psychotic side. "She would never let me have peace, if it was not jealousy, it was nagging and blackmail. No way would I want to spend the rest of my life with such a woman," he says.
You are clingy
For the life of you, you cannot go anywhere nor do anything without him. Every minute you are on the phone calling him to find out where he is and what he is doing and why he is not with you. If you do not have a life away from him, then you are going to make a bad wife.
"Clingy women are a no-no," says Mbunde, 29, "It is a sign of low self esteem." He insists that she has to have a life away from the relationship in order to give each other room to miss the other and have interesting things to talk about. "We cannot always focus on what I am doing every time."
You have nothing going on for you
In this day and age of equality, men look out for women who have the ambition and goals to enrich their lives. Fickle lifestyles like being in debt, gunning for short-lived careers or not showing any interest in any career are clear signs that you will not make a good wife. Worse case scenario: you do not know what you want in life. Men will not consider you as wife material if you have nothing going for yourself.
"There is nothing as hot as an independent woman who can take care of herself without waiting for a man to do all that," says Too, 36, who adds that he would rather date the female CEOs and Managing directors than any other type of women. "It is challenging and will definitely make me work harder to get to her level or more."
David, 35, agrees: "The woman need not hold a top position at her workplace but she should at least have the ambition to achieve better things in life. That shows that she will be a good example to our children."
You are controlling
If you control all the conversations, and force your man into agreeing with you: you will not make a good wife. If you are overbearing and keep bullying him emotionally when you are in a relationship, how bad will it be when you are married? You need to give your man enough opportunity to explain himself in arguments.
"A controlling woman is a burden that I do not want for the rest of my life," says Karagita, who has been there done that. His ex girlfriend always dictated what they had to do, where to go and who to see. She made decisions without consulting him, and if he dared question her, she would threaten or intimidate him. "I had enough. This was a woman I was planning to marry, but with the way she behaved, I had to put an end to the relationship."
You already cheated on him
If you have decided to be in a relationship; be in it for the whole nine yards. Men do not think you are wife material if you have been unfaithful when you were dating. Even though you believe you will change and learn from your mistakes, chances of being unfaithful once you are married are still high.
"Who would marry a woman that has cheated on him?" asks Wekesa, 38, "How sure are you that she will not cheat on you when you are married?" He says that a good woman is the one who will be faithful to her boyfriend, and later, husband. "There is no two ways about it. Keep your panties on."
Your Libido does not match his
The way you relate with each other in the bedroom has a big influence on how you two will live together. If you have a libido that is highly different from your man, then you will end up in problems. It is preferable to work this out before tying the knot.
Makau, 30, says that compatibility in the bedroom is important in any marriage. "If either of you is frustrated over sex, or lack of, it will easily translate to your daily life and mess things up for you," she says.
You are extremely jealous
A little jealousy is good for any healthy relationship, but if it goes to the extreme, then you will mess up your relationship. If you are jealous of every other girl that comes near your man or refuse to accept that he has female colleagues and friends or worse, you feel threatened when he brings up his past relationships, you should not be thinking of marriage. If you keep feeling like this, even a ring on your finger will not make you feel secure with your husband.
"I have female friends and colleagues, and my wife need not be jealous over it," states Patrick, adding that getting jealous over everything and nothing is a sign of insecurity. "I want a woman who is secure about herself, there is a reason I chose her as a girlfriend, right?"
You cannot admit your wrongs
You are not the marrying kind if you never admit your wrongs. Everyone makes mistakes, and when you admit your mistakes, it is easier for you to learn from them and grow. The best part: you will be nourishing your relationship. However, when you cannot be humble enough to admit that you have done wrong and apologise for it, it is a sign that you cannot make compromises either.
"Everyone makes mistakes, but admitting and apologizing for it is a sign of strength," states Okumu, adding that it will save any couple the time and energy used in grappling and arguing, thus increasing the harmony in any home.